bazzab Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 After an evening with one of the biggest wind up merchants ive met (no names mentioned!!!) I got to thinking..... whats the best wind up / practical joke you carried out and had done to you??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thelongwayup Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Had a mate who worked for the funeral service. He was on call and regularly called in for a cuppa in his 'private ambulance'. One evening he had picked up a jumper from a high bridge near us. I was intrigued as to what state a body gets once jumped so he offered to show me. Into the back of his van we went...he slowly unzipped said jumper....As he did it sat up and screamed. I exited his van backwards screaming also like Ned Flanders. It was one of his colleagues who had agreed to try 'scare me'. I didn't take it light heartedly at the time nor for a few weeks after. Complete lack of humour failure on my part. It was ages before I could laugh about it. I've got him back many times since but pub conversations used to always rotate about the time I screamed and jumped out of his van as a dead man screaming tried to grab me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty Harry Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 I went out with the wife and some friends in 2 cars. I snuck back to the car and moved mine to the other end of the car park so it was nearer and we would get to it first. Everyone fell for it and thought the other car had been nicked. Wife's friend has not spoken to me since (15 years ago). No loss as I can't stand her and she won't come to my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troosers Too Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 Years ago I was working offshore on a rig where some bright spark had managed to get hold of a tractor tyre inner tube. The tube would be folded under the victim's mattress, a hole was drilled through the bulkhead from the cabin next door and an airline attached. At some point during the victim's sleep, a valve would be cracked & the 120psi air supply would inflate the inner tube almost instantly, chucking the sleeper across his cabin. Deep joy! Another favourite was to place an empty 45 gallon drum in someone's shower & then fill it. As there was no room to get hold of the damn thing in the shower, the only way to get rid of the thing was to get a fire axe & beat a hole in it. TT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amazed Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 Was working on some doors in my brothers house near to the boiler, had been on a bit of a bender on smooth ales the night before and so dropped a really meaty ****, lent over towards the boiler and shouted my brother over and said hay james i think I can smell gas. He promptly joined me and took a really deep sniff of the surrounding area much to his disapproval ha ha ha ha Well it was gas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
larp Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 I went out with the wife and some friends in 2 cars. I snuck back to the car and moved mine to the other end of the car park so it was nearer and we would get to it first. Everyone fell for it and thought the other car had been nicked. Wife's friend has not spoken to me since (15 years ago). No loss as I can't stand her and she won't come to my house. will try this on the motherinlaw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bruno22rf Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 Try tying a piece of string to the corner of your wifes pillow and feed the other end under the bed to your side. After about 10 minutes give the string a couple of sharp tugs then lay back and enjoy the hysterics. Worked a treat for me . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimLondon Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 Years ago in the fire service we had a bit of kit called a railway warning horn, one of the lads decided to insert the mouth piece of said horn up he's rear end he then stuck a "defective" label on it and left it on the desk in the watchroom. We were sitting in the mess room when we heard "parrrrrrrp" "parrrrrrp" in walks the junior buck. "There's nothing wrong with this" fits of laughter. "Parrrrrrrp" Howls of laughter "it works fine parrrrrrp" he then walks out "ill put it back on the appliance" he shouts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TIGHTCHOKE Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 (edited) Many years ago, one of the chaps at work caught out a lot of people by spreading camouflage cream on the ear piece of one of the phones on the front desk. He would leave the intended victim in the front office and go through to another phone and ring through. His undoing though was when the Warrant Officer answered the phone, Alan spoke to him in a shocked voice and appeared through the door with some nice clean soapy rags to tidy up the bosses right ear. Funnily enough, he never did any more practical jokes after that! Edited June 29, 2013 by TIGHTCHOKE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Essex Hunter Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 After an evening with one of the biggest wind up merchants ive met (no names mentioned!!!) I got to thinking..... whats the best wind up / practical joke you carried out and had done to you??? Quite a few apprentice jokes played on me, then slowly returned them over the years.. The rest just came naturally Changing the blub on the lathe for one painted black… Stapling the end of the overalls or coats.. Setting the coolant nozzle on full then switching it off, then aim it facing out.. Putting engineers marking blue on rim of the jewellers glass used to inspect something close up.. Setting off numerous oxy/acetylene bombs on work shop doors.. When I had my salvage yard/repair work shops my Dad liked estate cars for his fishing gear..etc One particular car was getting a pain with a few niggley faults so I picked up a cracker, put a side in it, painted it, then mot/taxed it… Got him over Saturday morning and took him in the work shop to show him. While he was drying his eyes and rolling a fag, my mate chained the old one up and put it on the stack… He was in a state of joy and despair all that morning…well funny but had to take it down so he could get his stash of tobacco and papers and the good battery he had fitted out off the plie!! Putting some cooked rice in peoples diving jacket pockets after lunch before the afternoon dive…the fish used to find it and the person would disappear in a shoal of small fish.. Food dye in a wet suit bootie so the person would have blue feet for a couple of days Learnt a lot in my apprenticeship!! TEH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscarsdad Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 (edited) A few years back when I was at med school we obviously liked a drink, one of the lads from the rugby team (which gives you a good indication of the volumes of drink) always used to pass out and wet the bed after a few shandys so had resulted in sleeping naked... We were at his house boozing and he sloped off to bed and passed out as per usual. We decided it would be terribly amusing to play a little joke on him... We got a condom and put a spoonful of mayonnaise into it and then drew straws for the next bit...the "winner" (not me luckily) then proceeded to insert said condom into our friend's bottom using a pencil (eraser first obviously) and then left (in fits of giggles) him to sleep... We all made sure we were there when he got up the next morning and greeted him with "morning Chris - we have to ask, who was that bloke who left your room earlier? He looked like a right bender!" His face was a picture. We told him about the prank though (4 weeks later! Lol!). Edited June 29, 2013 by oscarsdad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overandunder2012 Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 i heard about one that happened to a civil servant that worked shifts, he had had a vasectomy and was working a night shift he was due to take his sample in to be tested in the morning. anyway for some reason his shift got extended so he asked his colleague if he could drop his sample in for him on the way home. his mate promptly emptied the tube and refilled it gave it to the nurse. the owner of the sample was told his vasectomy had failed and had to have another im told a few years later his mate came clean and told him dont think he was to happy. dont know how true this tale is but i got it from someone who works at the same place Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ack-ack Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 Years ago in the fire service we had a bit of kit called a railway warning horn, one of the lads decided to insert the mouth piece of said horn up he's rear end he then stuck a "defective" label on it and left it on the desk in the watchroom. We were sitting in the mess room when we heard "parrrrrrrp" "parrrrrrp" in walks the junior buck. "There's nothing wrong with this" fits of laughter. "Parrrrrrrp" Howls of laughter "it works fine parrrrrrp" he then walks out "ill put it back on the appliance" he shouts Fantastic, what a mental image. You've made my day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzab Posted June 29, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 Haha these are making me cry. I love it. Def not the most flamboyant one but one that cracks me up when I think of it, when I was living at my mums my girlfriend (now wife) was staying I went to get a drink from kitchen. Id had a skin full of guiness the night before so my backside was humming. I let a absolute stinker go into a pint glass and offered the empty glass to my wife saying I think the dishwasher is broken smell that!!!! Well she was gagging amd went insane I was on the floor laughing. Haha these are making me cry. I love it. Def not the most flamboyant one but one that cracks me up when I think of it, when I was living at my mums my girlfriend (now wife) was staying I went to get a drink from kitchen. Id had a skin full of guiness the night before so my backside was humming. I let a absolute stinker go into a pint glass and offered the empty glass to my wife saying I think the dishwasher is broken smell that!!!! Well she was gagging amd went insane I was on the floor laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sako751sg Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 When the old fella and old dear split up the old fella sold the farm and moved away for a while.Was speaking to his friend who owns the garage that always done his motors and the fella asked why he split up with the wife and i told him he had took over a thai bride and was marrying her,and further more the thai turned oot to be a ladyboy.Needless to say it spread through the village pretty quickly and i didnt bother changing the story after that.Not the best wind up i have done,but gave me and the brother a laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike737 Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 Years ago, a mate I worked with snaffled my car keys, opened the fob and put a bit of sellotape over the battery, so the remote wouldn't work. To get him back I bought a gift box for a bottle of wine, the sort that is foil covered with a lift-off lid. I made a cardboard tray that was a loose fit inside, attached this to the top of the box with a couple of strong elastic bands, then threaded a string through the tray and the bottom of the box. I pulled the tray to the bottom, then filled the box with polystyrene beads, as found in bean bags, and sellotaped the lid on. I then removed the string, wrapped the box up and posted it to him just before his birthday. Unfortunately he was out when the postie tried to deliver it, so had to go to the sorting office to collect it. In his brand new Disco. He couldn't wait to get home to open it, so unwrapped it in the car. His wife, seated beside him said his face was a picture, there was momentary delay as he pulled the lid off, then a fountain of white beads filled the car. He sat there with his jaw dropped, she had tears running down her face. There were still beads in the car when he sold it a couple of years later... He never tried to retaliate, as I told him I still had a better trick up my sleeve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vampire Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 We used to have a lad work with us,who wasnt the brightest,one day he told us about a horror film he had seen which he couldnt watch to the end as it had scared the bejuggers out of him,one point in the film (forgotten title)was black liquid coming from the toilet bowl so we rigged the cistern with black dye just before tea break and regular as clock work he flushed the loo,let out a blood curdling scream,knocked the door off its hinges and ran outside Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgguinness Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 I love a good practical joke, have been subject to and dished many out over the years. My favourite one was a few years back the missus went out on a girly night out while I baby sat. She came back rather merry and crawled into bed naked. Didn't take her long to get to sleep, when she did I opened her butt cheeks a bit and popped a small bit of dairy milk in between. First thing the next morning was hilarious!! She didn't see the funny side at all, still foaming about it to this day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Albert Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 A mate and I were night fishing when I went for a pee. Unbeknown to me, whilst I was gone my mat put half a dozen lug worms in my sarnies. A fact I found out when I just caught sight of something moving which shouldn't have been. After a lot of remonstrating with him, "Upon my soul, you shouldn't have done that, you cad," or words to that effect, we settled down to some chin wagging. Later he went for a pee and I slipped half a dozen lug worms into his flask of hot coffee. He drank the whole lot except for the last cup when he found half a dozen lug worm skins in his cup. I have to say I missed what he called me as I was creased up on the floor. If you have ever seen a 16 stone man running hell for leather for the toilet whilst trying to undo his trousers, then you get the picture. He puked his ring up and had the runs something rotten for about 4 days afterwards. Needless to say he didn't try to get his own back. I never knew that hot coffee could strip the guts out of a worm that quickly and effectively. :no: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overandunder2012 Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 We used to have a lad work with us,who wasnt the brightest,one day he told us about a horror film he had seen which he couldnt watch to the end as it had scared the bejuggers out of him,one point in the film (forgotten title)was black liquid coming from the toilet bowl so we rigged the cistern with black dye just before tea break and regular as clock work he flushed the loo,let out a blood curdling scream,knocked the door off its hinges and ran outside another classic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vampire Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 When i worked for vw,one of the salesmen and me had to drive up to birmingham in an audi 80 sport to collect another car,half way there he worriedly said that there was something wrong,the accelorator kept sticking flat open after i few more miles i suddenly realised it was me causing it, everytime i put my foot up against the centre tunnel i could feel a rod linking the throttle from where it was converted to right hand drive for this country,now,i hated this salesman ALOT and oh how i had fun every round about/junction/overtaking,i would keep it revving til i was scared and he was cr###### himself,by the time we got to our destination he was a wreck. We parked up and just before he got out,i looked at him with a huge grin and revved it up,he went balistic and i just laughed even more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peskyfoxs Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 I have seen and done a few First a guy at work bought a calibra when they were fairly new from a used car dealer down the road, one of the guys in the office was friends with a copper, anyway he picks up his new car and was very happy with it. A couple if days later the policeman friend and his colleague arrived at the office and asked for him, they promptly grabbed him and cuffed him saying he has stolen the car, he was fuming and if he had managed to get to the door I'm sure he would have run down the road to kick the poop out of the garage owner. We only let on just as they were putting him in the police car ! this was about 12 years ago and I'm surprised the copper obliged , very funny though ! Another one I worked with a young lad who had a different girl every day of the week, he started to use a computer in the office for online dating and was having lots of success (bosses don't mind as long as in his lunch time) Anyway I found our the name of the site and made a fake profile, he fell for it and he starting chatting me up and then talking dirty to me, every reply was promptly sent round the entire office by me. When it came to meeting I suggested he meet me at lunch time and that we should get jiggy in his car (the dirty talk had been going on for about 2 weeks) and he kept grinning like a Cheshire Cat and saying this girl was really dirty On the day of the meet just before he was due to set out I explained what I was wearing including a tiny skirt but I was going commando, I then aked him to do the same so off he goes to the toilets in the office to whip off his boxers I arranged to meet in the shopping centre opposite the office and as he went in one entrance the entire office I'If 15-20 people went in the other and we met him stood there with his boxers on his pocket and a lump proudly stuck Out of his trousers as he thought of the delights he thought he was about to get He did see the funny side after a week or 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colin lad Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 After an evening with one of the biggest wind up merchants ive met (no names mentioned!!!) I got to thinking..... whats the best wind up / practical joke you carried out and had done to you??? how is lee not seen him for a few days colin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickS Posted June 29, 2013 Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 On one ship there was a culture of practical jokes - cling film over the toilet pan and the bulb loosened, condoms on the shower head, telephone buttons sellotaped down so they kept ringing when you were called at 0330 for your watch.... Lying off Muscat a bored watchkeeper decided to go fishing. Catching a couple of smallish sharks he released them into the swimming pool. We had to drain the pool and chuck them back. The best/worst was perpetrated by the bloke I had to share a cabin with. He had an issue with some of the others and decided to get his own back. Several of the cabins started to stink of **** and I mean REALLY stink. After a few hours investigating the plumbing it turned out that "somebody" had taken a **** into the lid of a shoe box, removed the grille from the air conditioning duct and slip the aforementioned lid and contents out of sight in the duct. Nick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzab Posted June 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2013 how is lee not seen him for a few days colin HAHAHAHA ye was def refering to lee......... NOT!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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