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Comedy gamekeeping


KFC
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So, today we were finishing off a new release pen and then moving birds from the rearing pen to the release pen.

 

We just needed to rig a couple of drinkers and a couple of feeders. The new pen is attached to an existing one and is built with Heras panels. Kingfisher top-hat feeders were the simplest thing.

For drinkers all I needed to do was build a small scaffold tower, put a couple planks across to support two 35litre plastic barrels, connect up the drinkers and fill the barrels.

POP.

Now, when we extended the existing pen we also extended the electric fence so should I bother to walk all the way round to turn off the electric fence while I rigged the metal scaffold or should I just work round it? I mean there's at least a foot gap between the fence and the scaffold. It should be OK.

 

I never felt my leg touch against the electric fence but I did feel my hand touch the scaffold!!!!!! :oops: :oops: :oops:

 

My boss was quite impressed that, at my age, I can still jump that high!!!

 

Talk about larf :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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similar .got a spinney out the back of the farmers house, with paddocks always has crows nest there couldn't shoot it out cos of horses so lofting poles did the job thought rude not to say hello to the horses. Ooooo fence was on and lofting poles conducted well think I jumped and really spooked the horses farmer laughed his head off ......

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  • 2 weeks later...

Comedy sketch number 2.

 

Went and checked Rabbit traps. One Rabbit in a trap, no problem, stand trap up, reach in, grab bunny and do the business same as i've done hundreds of times.

Not this time. Stood trap up and, as I reached in, Rabbit got a grip on the side of the trap, nipped my finger, got its claws in the cuff of my shirt, ran up my sleeve, across the back of my shoulder and leapt off my back into the standing wheat around the edge of the cover and was gone. :blush::/

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Hah, this reminds me of the day we were filling up feeders...

 

We have many drainage ditches around our land with bridges over. Some are obviously better than others, but with hindsight a slightly beefed up scaffold plank really wasn't going to hold the weight of 2 big blokes and a barrel of wheat! it didn't start to crack until we were mid-span, at which point you instinctively stop and look at each other. Then suddenly the bridge was gone and we seemed to hang in the air in true cartoon style before dropping down several feet into the water below.

 

Did prove we were true Yorkshire men though as we never spilt a grain of wheat :lol::lol::lol:

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Helping a gamekeeper on a big shoot put birds into an 'outside' release pen, only 500 I think.

 

All done, gate shut, then noticed a lot of poults wandering around the outside of the pen.

 

Investigated and discovered that another helper who had strimmed around the pen the day before had managed to strim through the wire netting in about six different locations!

 

Not really comedy but there was also the commercial shoot locally where the contractor managed to spray all the maize cover crops.......... with round up!!,

 

big insurance claim and no shooting that year!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Did it myself years ago.

walking around a release pan with a bag of wheat on my shoulder. Came to a slippery rocky patch and managed the fall down on my ****. I was wearing boots and the lace clips managed to get tangled in the electric fence.

A good 10 minutes of shocks before I freed myself.

Was a lot more careful the next time

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Shifting a Larsen Trap with call bird inside without securing the door of call bird compartment. As we hauled the trap from the pickup theat door swung open and the bird was away back to pastures old from where it had come. Well still holding the trap and my companion still holding the other end I took off at a gallop after the bird. For what reason thats a mystery as the creature was already weel gone? Eventually the hysterical laughter and shouts of my fellow crow trapper drew us to a halt. It is said life is a learning curve, learned that day ALWAYS SECURE THE DOOR when moving a trap.

 

Blackpowder

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My electric fence wasn't working and I noticed the red wire had come away from the crocodile clip on the fence wire.

I disconnected the two wires from the battery and put the red wire in my mouth to strip back the sleeve a bit.

Next thing I'm knocked on my **** shouting the C word.

I forgot the solar panel that was still putting power into the unit

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Love them keep them coming. Have straddled a fence climbing over it and caught inside leg on the rope wire, not funny as when your leg moves that quick the muscle hurts after for a long while.

 

Lost count of the times talking to wife's cousin on his horse yard and leaned on the fence top rail not noticing the electric tape on the back side.

 

Figgy

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Mate and me decided to put 50 gallon plastic feeder in a very hard to get to (in winter) rough patch the birds seemed to like, thinking that if we filled it we may only have to top it up occasionally during the season. Drilled holes in it, cut angles on legs, creosoted them, drilled them and bolted them to barrel with stainless bolts took it to relevant place, knocked in posts and fenced it off to keep off sheep brought from the Fells to winter down here and filed it brim full. It must have taken us the best part of a day toeing and froing etc. Stood back to admire our work and mate says: " I'll just give the spring a flick to scatter a bit about so they can find the stuff", and gave the spring a twang, which promptly broke off and landed on the ground where it quickly disappeared under a heap of feed as it poured from the bottom of the feeder.

Neither of us said a word, mate was still squatted beside feeder and I just stood there, both of us watching it pour out 'til it blocked itself, at which point he looked up at me and said, " they should find that ok shouldn't they? " I had to agree.

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some great stories so far chaps!

I too fell foul of the electric fence.
Just secured a new permission and the landowner (A lovely old lady) was in the paddock feeding the donkeys and she told me to come on over and as I did I stepped over the fence (Now, I'm not a tall fellow standing in at 5,5) and my trousers were quite thin around the love spuds and I got a shock right on them and by god did I jump.

 

Never quite felt pain like it, and knowing some do that sort of thing for intimate fun, I can only but wonder why. OUCH!

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I was putting out a poultry electric fence, fine tuning the fence with it turned on, some how it fell on me with one of the top loops landing square on my head with the resulting shock I jumped very high this made the loop pull down tight around my neck where I could not get back over my ears with a shock about every 3 seconds it was very painful. When my brother finally got off the floor where he had suffered several fractured ribs from laughing so hard he turned off the power and helped me out. It was the nearest as an adult I have come to wetting myself as I was fast losing control of everything.

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Working on a roof in a busy village I needed to go, problem was there was nowhere in the garden where I could not be seen.

Running away from the garden was a hedge bordering a padock with a bend in it, so off I went out of sight and pee'd on the electric fence.

Not a lot of fun getting a belt in the eye of your best friend.

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