jimdfish

congestion charge, zimbabwe cricketers claiming asylum?? That is some jump. Hic, Jim

I was at my usual permission yesterday and after shooting nowt I thought i would haver a word with the farmer. Any new land? says I. Well I am going to plant some peas and barley for the cattle in that field soon. Soon as you you see it shoot it. great. The only snag is it is a field with no defined boundaries, hedgerows etc. I will post pics and you all can advise on how best to approach Jim

I am sad enough to have read the first Rambo book. Better than the film. Jim

dig 'em up and hoik them in a bush. Or completely ignore them and if approached speak the Polish. The chances of anyone enforcing the ban are V.slim. If it was an Albert water you might have problems but the local council will not enforce. JDF

Never putting jam in a toaster. Hijacking the thread somewhat I was reading about Churchill in Canada on Sunday and how it is the polar bear capital of the world. There has only been one death in the past thirty years however which when you consider that 1200 polar bears gather there annually it is not too bad. The death however could have been prevented if the individual involved was not walking down the street with several pounds of meat in his pockets. Thats not safe. Really quite dangerous. I will bet the government trained instructors never warned you about that, did they! JDF

I went to meet Andy to pick my magnet up. Bloody good bloke with a very interesting trade too. He is Delia's personal pilot. Honest. JDF

my friends fat black lab has broken its tail anout 4" from the base of its spine. How do vets fix them? Jim

You have heard correct mung. In fresh manure you can "smell" the acids and whatever that will scorch. Leave it to air. You will know when it is ready by the lack of acrid smell. JDF

We never saw anything like that on degrassi junior high. Scchhhherwing. JDF

There is a picture on the internet somewhere of a lady ice skater having a wardrobe malfunction ( of the lower department). Can anyone tell me where I can find it. JDF

Vole, I think the small trout will most likely be parr. It would be extremely rare for rainbows to successfully breed in Britain. I dont know why they dont, they just dont. We will have to meet in the summer and have a bash. JDF

The Goyt is fast becoming a cracking river. The woodbank park stretch has some lovely barbel and I have even seen salmon parr being caught. My favourite though is below Otterspool. lovely grayling and cracking roach. Jim

where in Marple? Jim

Its like being barred from your local and setting up a pub in your garage. everything may be in place but its just not the same. JDF

In the end he took some fruit cake and cathedral cheddar ( try it together, it is a sensation and yorkshirey). JDF

The scenario is this; my boss is flying out on a managers course tomorrow morning. the accomodation has no refrigeration or cooking facilities other than utensils. he has to bring a food or meal and drink that typifies the english. There will be belgians on the course who will bring beer of course and the french wine etc. Ideas on what he should bring that will keep until thursday night ASAP please Jim

Oh I can bearly write this post for laughing but here we go, hahaha Ratatouille. hahahahahahahahah Oh my sides, oh dear. Do you get it? I would eat rat no worries. I would like to think I could eat a locust but I may choke. hahahahahahah. seriously though, that is a great gag. I kill me, i really do JDF

Large size cable ties. no tools no fuss. JDF

NTTF, EEEEEEEEEEWYYYYYUUUURGGGGGGHHHHHHHH. OOOOOOHHH aaaacccchhh Hoik Hoik. JDF

jeremy beadle has been found dead. A small glove was found beside the body. Cause of death is uncertain but police believe the other glove had a big hand in it.

I think then taht if young lads go inot an apprenticeship or a poor paid job that is needed, binmen say, then they too should get thirty quid extra a week until they are eighteen. we are paying kids to go to school so that when they leave they can earn more money while the lads who are hardworking but not academically minded get no reward. Fair play has to be seen to be done.

my brother is a morning dj on one of the big franchised rasio stations. ( sounds like balaxy). his co host got a dog called guiness. he pleaded on air that as a famous(sic) dj if he has to stand ina park shouting guiness then surely the brewery should give him some reward. and they did. crates of beer, sweatshirts ect sonn followed. My brother then said that he was buying a rabbit call guillardo and lamdo shoud give him some stuff. He recieved an phone cla yesterday asking when and where he would like the spider delivering to and he could keep it as long as he could spin out the gag. it comes on monday for a week. jammy jammy jammyjim

my ma is after a new tv. Martin dawes whom she has hired for years seem reluctant to help. she is after a 23" flat screen. she cannot decide whether to buy or rent. i say rent as she can upgrade or send back but MD seem reluctant. Any pm members got a deal? JDF

i thought it was funny as well john. peace be with you jdf

Jesus was "invented" before 1 AD In that case I hate him and think hes a **** JDF