Troosers Too

Jeez! Where do you live...Beirut?

Clint 1 - I'd imagine you've got evidence for your accusation rather than lazily passing on, as fact, a slightly wild and unlikely rumour that you've heard. As 39TDS says, why haul the corpse all the way to a road to dump it when there are loads of easier & more secure alternatives to a farmer. While the deep rural streets of Wolverhampton may not be overrun nightly with badgers, you can rest assured that in many areas of the countryside badgers are a very regular sight to drivers at night. I've only ever hit one with the car (dead badger - no damage to car) but regularly have to brake hard to miss the black and white lumps as they trundle round the lanes at night. No. I'm not a farmer either.

People who are good at maths are all sociopaths, possibly even borderline psychopaths and should really be segregated from normal society. If we need to get some sums done or need somone to invent some new, terribly clever, gizmo for us too goof around with, we could let them out briefly (supervised of course). What, you want proof? Hitler, Stalin, Tony Bliar - all good at maths! Of course its true, I just made it up! TT

Gimlet - you are my hero! Let's see...high speed through Paris with a drunk driver being harrassed by photographers on bikes & in cars, no seatbelt...what could possibly go wrong? TT

Absolutely correct. Who here knows where their money that they pay into their pensions or ISAs is going?

Great news Gerry! I was just about to comment that I've got a six year old springer bitch who has never ever been in the slightest bit interested in retrieving dummies or balls when out of the boring confines of the garden. In the garden she'll retrieve a ball or dummy a couple of times & then get bored. Game on the other hand, is a different story. She loves it and is my best picking up dog for when a gun tells me "Oh I've got a bird down in that wood - a long way back". When she was young, I was beating at a friend's shoot with her & while she was going well hunting & flushing, she'd never retrieved anything for me and one of the other beaters had asked me if i trialled her & I replied that she wouldn't retrieve, so no. Ten minutes later we asked to look for a wounded bird down in a little spinney so with little hope, I sent her in to look. needless to say my non retrieving springer made a fool of me by bringing said bird straight back out! I guess what I'm trying to say is don't panic - given the right circumstances and encouragement, the retrieving instinct will almost certainly switch on. Good luck with her TT

Your wife obviously dosen't drive your car then. TT

Years ago I was working offshore on a rig where some bright spark had managed to get hold of a tractor tyre inner tube. The tube would be folded under the victim's mattress, a hole was drilled through the bulkhead from the cabin next door and an airline attached. At some point during the victim's sleep, a valve would be cracked & the 120psi air supply would inflate the inner tube almost instantly, chucking the sleeper across his cabin. Deep joy! Another favourite was to place an empty 45 gallon drum in someone's shower & then fill it. As there was no room to get hold of the damn thing in the shower, the only way to get rid of the thing was to get a fire axe & beat a hole in it. TT

Wait a minute - I was supporting the camouflaged shopper! TT

Now then, I've just broken one of my life's rules and sought out an engineer (they're a funny lot aren't they?) who tells me that since the cannon would heat up from the bore outwards, the bore would actually get smaller to begin with as the outside of the gun is considerably cooler than the centre. I don't really know why I'm getting involved with this - it's a bit like a golfish getting involved in a discussion about hang gliding. Cheers TT

Of course not! I obviously had to do something to show why I was dressed like Little Lord Fontleroy so I whipped the gun out of the slip and carried it into the sevices over my arm. TT

The trouble is that "real people" would nowadays stand no chance of getting the top jobs. I'd imagine that all the party leaders have spent nearly their entire lives (from their teens on) working in politics, driven by the desire to suceed. Newspaper reporters will scrape & sniff through their past lives looking for dirt, meaning that the hopeful new politician will need to tread very carefully all through their lives and will have to be happy to know that every old flame, friend, colleague and drunken night out will be scrutinised. Would we work as a party activist for years in our own time? Would we work as a researcher for a politician for next to no pay? Would we want some scumbag reporter sniffing around every aspect of our lives looking for dirt? How many of us would have the sheer, cunning and ambition to get anywhere near the top job? I know I wouldn't! Strangely, I admire their dedication as much as I loathe them for having it. TT

Presumably the theory suggests that the steel the barrel is made of would expand in all directions, meaning that the bore would become smaller at the same time as the overall external dimensions of the barrel would become larger. I'm no engineer so I'll be the first to accept that the truth from one. TT

Good news unless you were horrible to your little sister when you were a kid. She's now trained to poison you & leave no trace! Just a thought TT

They make a rather fine sporran, would that be of any use?