Training for the Big One

[Mrs Sweepy]

Excuse me but i think i was first

And i would splash out and offer £1.05

 

xxxxSuzy

 

Can i have a look inside his mouth please

[Anni]

Excuse me but i think i was first

And i would splash out and offer £1.05

 

xxxxSuzy

 

Can i have a look inside his mouth please

 

What on earth do you want to do inside his mouth

[Mrs Sweepy]

To tell his aged Annie(thats what you do at these things)

I shell also want to run my hand up and down his back leg.

xxxxSuzy

[Chard]

To tell his aged Annie(thats what you do at these things)

I shell also want to run my hand up and down his middle leg.

xxxxSuzy

 

 

[Delbert]

To tell his aged Annie(thats what you do at these things)

I shell also want to run my hand up and down his back leg.

xxxxSuzy

 

 

I was going to post something witty when I stop giggling maybe- best to

Let it lie

 

 

 

over to you Son of Potter.

[Anni]

To tell his aged Annie(thats what you do at these things)

I shell also want to run my hand up and down his back leg.

xxxxSuzy

 

 

Must be some Kind of Essex mating ritual

 

 

And Susan, There is another bloke on here called ANNIE But theres only one ANNI B) Just so the poor lad dont get confused

Edited March 6, 2010 by Anni

[Nicky T]

Haaaaaaaaaa Your wrong Thats me and Nicky giving are first lesson. Good balance and foot work makes a better shooter

 

Just gotta stop you muttering 1....2....3.....4 all the time now

[DSPUK]

Drat I thought the £1 was max bid --

 

Suzy at that price you can have him.

 

dave

[Mrs Sweepy]

So when can i claim him

And will he be road tested.

xxxSuzy

[Mr Potter]

So when can i claim him :(

And will he be road tested.

xxxSuzy

Bit of a problem here Mrs S, in fact a real pickle I seem to have got myself in on so many different levels

Here we go in no particular order

Couldn't possibly send him down South prior to Hodnet, if I did you might either turn his head completely and he shoots for the South or you reduce him to a quivering, knackered wreck of a human being and he shoots for the North - but badly ,

or

Don't know if my insurance covers the harm he could do in Essex, he's 29 (I think), good looking (don't know were he got that from), 6' of raging testosterone. I realise you southern ladies are used to men who like pink, ABBA, soft furnishings and at the mention of pussy they think of kittens playing with wool. It's a recipe for a 3 page article in the Sunday Sport.

or

I've got it wrong and, as above, you Essex girls can destroy a man more used to the fragrant roses that our Northern women are often described as.

 

The real scary one which proves I didn't really think this through is, in my case, not worth contemplating and that is when his mother finds out

As he doesn't live at Chez Potter anymore it might take a day or two for her to twig that he's missing but GOD HELP ME when she does :( :o :o. It's probably too late for me, I'm getting on a bit, my demise will pass unnoticed but this particular "fragrant rose" will turn Essex inside out in an effort to return her Brave Little Soldier to the bosom of his Northern family.

 

All is not lost though, I've told him that he's stuck with us until the 29th May and if no better offer is received he's all yours (I'll take my chance with Mrs P) but he seemed a bit disappointed and asked if I had an Inter-City Express timetable. If he turns up on your doorstep with some cock & bull story about being ill-treated please Suzy, be gentle with him.

 

Mr "You ain't seen me, right" Potter

Edited March 6, 2010 by Mr Potter

[Mrs Sweepy]

Mmmmmmmmmm 29 :(

Bit young and to wet behind the ears for this old Essex girl.

I like the man in the know. If you know what i mean.

I dont think he would be experience or man enough to take on the Essex girl in full sail

We need men who are strong enough to carry are big handbags when are arms are full of shoeboxes

We need men who will rub are bunions when are stilettos get to much.

The man who knows just how much chilli the kebab should have .

And most of all the man whos double jointed and do amazing things in the Ford.

It is only though years of blood sweat and tears that we(Essex girls) Have manage to achieve this with the Essex man.

And now that i am of the certain age (35)I feel my days of training such a young stud.

Are well and truly over And i shell step down and let the more younger and hungrier of my breed deflower your young northern lad.

But thank you Mr Potter for your kind offer.

xxxxSuzy

 

P.s

Could you still out run the old Essex girl Mr Potter

[Mr Potter]

Mmmmmmmmmm 29

Bit young and to wet behind the ears for this old Essex girl.

I like the man in the know. If you know what i mean.

I dont think he would be experience or man enough to take on the Essex girl in full sail

We need men who are strong enough to carry are big handbags when are arms are full of shoeboxes

We need men who will rub are bunions when are stilettos get to much.

The man who knows just how much chilli the kebab should have .

And most of all the man whos double jointed and do amazing things in the Ford.

It is only though years of blood sweat and tears that we(Essex girls) Have manage to achieve this with the Essex man.

And now that i am of the certain age (35)I feel my days of training such a young stud.

Are well and truly over And i shell step down and let the more younger and hungrier of my breed deflower your young northern lad.

But thank you Mr Potter for your kind offer.

xxxxSuzy

 

P.s

Could you still out run the old Essex girl Mr Potter

Sorry for the delay in replying Suzy but I've had to look some things up on t'interweb as the North/South differences are too great for an easy comparison

Carrying handbags should be no problem, years of carrying hundredweight sacks of coal upstairs to the bathroom should make even an Essex girls handbag seem as light as a feather.

The word "stilettos" had us going for a moment but we think you mean clogs!

Chilli and kebab will definitely be a problem, he's a Northerner, he eats pies, pies and more pies occasionally with brown sauce. If all you can feed him is that foreign muck he'll starve to death and I'd feel partially responsible.

Do amazing things in the Ford, if by amazing things you mean conjuring or play a musical instrument, to be honest I'm not sure . As for the Ford we don't have them up here we have buses and if you start doing anything, amazing or otherwise, in the back of the bus the conductor chucks you off

 

To sum up then it's not looking too good is it Suze, I think at 29 he might be too long in the tooth to retrain and to be honest I don't like the idea of him being the immigrant with him not knowing the language and the customs of Essex. But he has gone missing, after I refused to advance his pocket money for the train fare I think he's set off hitch hiking so beware of a knock on your door about a fortnight on Thursday :o :o

 

Your final point re. outrunning the old Essex girl. Well that idea got the old ticker racing I can tell you, then I realised the pacemaker was on the blink again. To be honest anyone who knows me will tell you I'm definitely built for comfort not speed and I'm at my very best when standing still but I'll leave you with one lesser known fact about me, I can breathe through my ears :o !!!!

 

Mr P

[PhilR]

P.s

Could you still out run the old Essex girl Mr Potter

 

Mr Potter the above quote reads as though you've outrun Mrs Sweepy before - is there something we should all know? :lol:

[MJN]

Mrs S and Mr P. I thought SEXTING was supposed to be in private and not on a public forum

[Mrs Sweepy]

Mr MGMan

Am just doing my bit for the South.

Being the true Essex Girl

Am going to work my way though the flatcap, whippet walking, pigeon lovers team.

And find out what all their weak spots are.

The things i do for Charity.

xxxxSaintsuzy

[100milesaway]

Sorry Mrs Sweepy but iv'e seen the said goods in person and i Have to say that i wiill raise you 50 pence. The deal is not yet done for this extreemly fine speciman. from Auntie :unsure:

[Mrs Sweepy]

So Auntie

Do the young Mr Potter hold his own out in the field ?

And if his as fine a specimen as you say. I think we should toss for him. :unsure:

xxxxSuzy

[100milesaway]

So Auntie

Do the young Mr Potter hold his own out in the field ?

And if his as fine a specimen as you say. I think we should toss for him.

xxxxSuzy

I've never asked him about such a personal matter but he stands well and always has a smile on his face. from Auntie :unsure:

[paulos]

Now now, calm yourselves down ladies. :unsure:

[Anni]

Mrs J if you need someone to carry your cartridge bag :unsure:

[Mrs Sweepy]

Their you go Auntie you can take the young ANNI under your wings.

 

And i shell take on the young Mr Potter

I think we are what they would call a couple of Cougars Auntie :unsure:

xxxx(Miaow)Suzy

[magman]

So Auntie

Do the young Mr Potter hold his own out in the field ?

And if his as fine a specimen as you say. I think we should toss him.

xxxxSuzy

 

Might be good if you asked the poor lad first