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30-6
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Same as DEVON FOX says above

 

Another good one (again after a couple of pints when she's sleeping with her eye mask on), is to creep into the bedroom get into bed, leave it a minute to make sure she definetly is sleeping and then get on top of her as fast as you can, and start thrusting as fast as you can. "What the **** you doing ?" is so funny at the time, and the more you laugh the more annoyed she gets, and then she always says, "Ay you wait i'll get you back, but she never does.

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What do I do that annoys my other half?

 

Pretty much everything.

 

One thing she hates more than anything is when she and the kids goes to her mums for the weekend.

 

Beer Curry, shooting ,fishing Dead Space2 in my underpants what more could I ask for?

 

I then spend a couple of hours Sunday getting the place spotless. She walks in and you can see the laser scanning every room looking for that minute bit of rubbish or rice grain. When her scan comes back negative she gets the right hump. Any other woman would be over the moon to come back to a tidy house. Not her though. Women! I'll never understand them.

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Haha these are classics!!! Made me laugh my **** off. So with that, I read hilarious things of this forum laugh my head off and when she is dying to know what I'm laughing at and I don't tell her she goes insane!!!!!!!

 

My other favs Inc me putting my dirty socks in her clean sock drawer. Spending money on my rifle. ******* off out into the garage for hours. And asking her when there is a tasty lady on the tele, "you would less of with her wouldn't you!!??" :) :)

 

 

Good heavens I've just read that back to myself. Man alive I'm a looser!!! I need to get out more!!!!

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Should have added to my earlier post (number 26), even better if she's sleeping on her stomach.

 

One of the very best though,

 

LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR EASILY OFFENDED

 

When she is in the shower, wait for her to be washing her hair so her eyes will be closed and pretend to stick your finger up her a**e. Shouting could have had you, could have had you, and then when you're both out with friends tell them what you could have done. :blush:

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As a incurable insomniac bouncing her bangers whilst singing at 3 in the morning annoys her, there are a few things I do in the morning whilst she's drying her hair I can't go into....her being a Doctor and me proclaiming I've a new type of endoscopy tool (whilst stabbing her in the ear with it) also annoys her.

Ahhh and they have the cheek to claim all the romance has gone ehhh :lol::rolleyes:
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I play Trumpet and Ukulele.

 

Just before I finish practicing I'll play a quick refrain of any tune that I know she hates.

 

A few minutes later I'll hear her humming the same tune over and over.

 

Have to keep my Trumpet and Uke in my gun cabinet so they don't get accidentally damaged :lol::rolleyes:

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I cannot ever bring myself to get rid of any shooting mag I've ever bought, even ones I lend to folk I have to have back. Not to bad you may think but I've have a subscription to Shooting Times since 1987, plus a subscription to Shooting Gazette for about 10 years. Pus many many copies of the BASC, BDS and GCT magazines. They do seem to be taking over the house a bit, I've ran out of cupboard space for them ages ago so they are nicely packed away in boxes in the spare bedroom.

Drives her barmy, she thinks it maybe a bit of OCD on my part, she may be right !

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LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR EASILY OFFENDED

 

When she is in the shower, wait for her to be washing her hair so her eyes will be closed and pretend to stick your finger up her a**e. Shouting could have had you, could have had you, and then when you're both out with friends tell them what you could have done. :blush:

 

 

Hahah - that made me laugh out loud in the office, I'll try that with the wife and see what happens ;)

 

What do I do to annoy my wife? Nothing intentionally, I just seem to - can never do right!!

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Should have added to my earlier post (number 26), even better if she's sleeping on her stomach.

 

One of the very best though,

 

LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR EASILY OFFENDED

 

When she is in the shower, wait for her to be washing her hair so her eyes will be closed and pretend to stick your finger up her a**e. Shouting could have had you, could have had you, and then when you're both out with friends tell them what you could have done. :blush:

 

 

funniest things i have read in a long time :lol::lol:

 

Im not a great sleeper, and did something the other week that made Mrs MM very unhappy.

I got out of bed at 3am and went shopping. As it was sunday/monday Tescos seem to close for cleaning at this time. All i wanted was a jar of coffee. I came home at 0330 and woke her up to ask why Tesco's is closed. She was a bit annoyed at this :blush: I think she might be drugging me into sleeping, as i do wake at odd hours to go tidy the garden or go into the garage for stuff. This is what ****** Mrs MM off.

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my girlfriend can sleep, till 10.30am every morning (earliest)

i always ring her to tell her i have arrived and i'm safe when i go shooting

i like to go shooting early hours

best in winter when i go 'fowling and 'arrive' at 5.30am

 

she hates it when i watch pigeons while driving, i do sometimes veer into oncoming traffic if thers alot flying about

 

driving down muddy tracks with the car when i go shooting

 

the list is endless!

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When she is in the shower, wait for her to be washing her hair so her eyes will be closed and pretend to stick your finger up her a**e.

 

Sorry but how can you 'pretend to stick your finger up here a**e'? Either you do stick your finger up there or you don't, and if you're pretending it's your finger, what are you actually using???????

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Wife (ex!) = anything you can mention would be wrong. I would probably have got the blame for the earthquake in Japan.

Girlfriend (current and for well over 10 years now) = I can't put a step wrong. (although she wasn't all that pleased when I bit her mates nipples in the pub)

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