help with my cv.......

[theosmith]

right i have been asked to wrtire a cover letter / cv for a job,,,,,,i have wrtten everything i can think of but what do people think, what would you change, what can i add please cheers

 

 

Theodore Smith

addres

dob

number

Profile

My names Theo, I am a 27 year old white English male and I believe I am best described as Honest, Reliable, Punctual, Trustworthy, Loyal, Polite, Kind, keen eye for detail, Respectful, Self Motivated, Good Initiative and have common sense and very keen to learning as I enjoy doing so.

During my spare time I enjoy time out in my 4x4, Allotment Gardening, Family Time, Watching Films, DIY, Target Shooting (I hold both FAC and SGC license), going for meals, altogether anything in general that keeps me busy. I have recently been thinking about having a dabble at fishing.


Education
Mark Hall School 1998-2003
GCSE
All grade C; Science x2, English x2, Mathematics, Geography, Design & Technology

Harlow College 2003-2004
City & Guilds; Electronics & Electrical Installations.

I also have certificates for the following; Junior Sports Leader Award, Key Skills(parts 1, 2 & 3), Community Challenge, First Aid (All 3 parts) & Counter Balance Forklift License.


Employment History
After leaving college I was offered two full-time trainee positions, as a Joiner or a Wood Machinist and I chose the Wood Machinist position!

I was then employed by 'Datums' where I learnt how to become a 1st and 2nd machinist (involved a Training Log which had to be signed off each week)
I used and operated all of the following machines; CNC Router 3 axis, which involved some code, programming and running of machine, 4 Head Moulder, Spindle, Thicknesser, Over-hand Plainer, Edge Bander, Band Saw, Band Re-saw, Panel Saws, X-cut Saws, Pin router, Morticer, Tennoner etc.
During my employment at Datums the work was very high end shop fitting, clients included; Harrods, Chrisites Auction House, HSBC, Melissa Odabash, Monsoons and many more, all the products had to be precise and perfect. We worked to meet tight deadlines and worked longs hours to fulfill this.
After 4 years of working at Datums the dreaded doom and gloom of the economy crashing, as a result me and many other colleges were unfortunately made redundant, this was scary and upsetting as I had never experienced anything like this before

......onwards and upwards I found 2 jobs and had an interview for both & was offered a position in both companies. I had a hard decision to make and I choose 'Green timber' my current and second employer.

I chose Green timber over the other company as the prospects sounded good! I am now the Production Manager here and my duties involve; oversee employees, booking lorries, arrange TNT, deal with walk-in customers, run the machines (6 Head Moulder, Multi Rip Saw, End Profiler, Panel Sander and X-cut Saw) loading and unloading of Arctic lorries with both finished and raw materials.
We work to very tight dead lines week in, week out mainly making door components and flooring which we sell to an on-line retailer, we work for low margins but high quantity / volume.

When I started working here I brought alot of knowledge and skills, I changed the way the place was operated very fast, optimizing the materials dimensions/resources and the purchase of new machines to in which I taught others to operate safely and properly. I feel I am and have always been a 'KEY' employee but its come to a point where I have reached my optimum and feel I can go no further in the business and have no gain in staying there and wish to move along to better prospects.

What I want from life
well this is a hard one Keith, I have not really been asked this question before let alone sit down and think about it in a way in which to answer such a question,
these are some things I would like, prospects, money, nice home, married, nice car.....these are all nice things but actually after thinking about it there are only 2 things in life in which I wish for and actually like everyone should only ever want/need and that is Health & Happiness.

I hope this cover letter is okay? I have never done anything like this before and to be fair you probably hear half the things from other people all the time! well I can say is everything I wrote has been true and I am a very eager, keen person and more than happy to come in for a day or 2 for you to see what I am like as I feel you wont regret it as I strive and only settle for the best

[AVB]

You have gone into a lot of detail and trying to show your feelings. That isn't normal in a CV. Do you know the recipient and would they expect it to be quite personal? I would normally expect the CV to give your qualifications and career history and the cover letter just to say why you are applying for the job and why you feel you are appropriate for it.

 

Definitely take out the white, English, male bit. They could put off the HR department.

 

And lose the fact that you went to Mark Hall school as was notorious for producing gay boys (I was brought up in Harlow!).

[StuC]

A suggestion; don't include anything that people could judge you by. In some areas you need to be the grey man. (In others you need to stand out)

 

The first paragraph tells me your age, race and sporting pursuits, all of which can be used to judge you, rightly, wrongly, good or bad.

 

You have also capitalised your character traits with the exception of 'keen eye for detail'.

 

Your CV is your sales pitch, so talk about all the good points. Review the job specification or advert you are applying for and try to match up yours skills. As an example if the advert requires someone who can work to deadlines, make a point of station g this in one of your previous roles (as long as it's true).

 

There are loads of good templates for CV's online and what you have written already is really good stuff, but in my opinion needs a bit of tweaking and structure.

 

All the best and good luck

[Les*1066]

Sounds OK to me - I wouldn't change a thing!

[theosmith]

got to agree there were some gays there hahaha

 

as to the personall bit the man asked me to write that he told me to write everything about life and me and told me answer the question,

 

the job i am going for is as an engineer,,,,,,,,i have never done any engineering but he is interested after me asking about any trainee jobs

[chrisjh]

good points from AVB, plenty of CV sites on the web to give examples on how to set one out and the kind of information they want

[theosmith]

with all that informaition i have written how can i best change it,

the man asked me to answer the following

what i do

what ive done

spare time

what machines i can use

what do i want from life

[loriusgarrulus]

A lot depends on the company. If it is a small business with maybe an owner wanting to know about you, this could get you in if you appeal to him.

If it is a big company and the CV is going to a HR dept you would be better using one of the standard forms of the web and making sure it does not go beyond two sides of A4 size 10 or 12 font.

What you want from life might be better relating mainly to the job.

Job satisfaction. Ambitions. Were you see yourself hopefully progressing in the work, etc.

Edited October 15, 2014 by loriusgarrulus

[theosmith]

AH its for a family run buisness they are looking for 1 possibly 2 people and only has 3 workers dad, and 2 sons

[chrisjh]

you have most of it in your text above just transfer it on to something that looks like one of these

 

[shaun4860]

Agree with dropping the "White English" bit

 

Can be construed wrongly

 

As above, go online and look up CV's

 

[theosmith]

you have most of it in your text above just transfer it on to something that looks like one of these

 

 

 

Agree with dropping the "White English" bit

 

Can be construed wrongly

 

As above, go online and look up CV's

 

that bits comes under 'honesty' lol

 

i think white english is a very important atribute. i have edited the letter a little bit more but i like the lines between each secition they look good

[Gordon R]

I do not wish to nit pick, but your prospects are not helped by the poor grammar and spelling. The personal style is not to my liking. You go into far too much detail about what you want out of life etc. The health and happiness sounds insincere to me. I appreciate it might not be intended, but I cringed.

 

As a prospective employer, I find the mega detail off-putting. I have interviewed a few thousand applicants over many years. I would not short-list you on this CV.

 

Google - "how to complete a CV" and start again. It might not be what you want to hear, but it is straight advice.

 

Sorry if it sounds negative, but I genuinely would not like you to miss out on a job because of a poor CV.

 

I have just noticed your insistence on "white English" - scrap that if you are serious. It will guarantee your application hits the waste bin. It sounds racist - even if that is not your intention.

Edited October 15, 2014 by Gordon R

[welsh1]

You need to make it short and concise.Someone reading your CV will be ploughing through a load of others,When i was a manager i would have put yours in the no pile as it is to long goes into information i don't need and there is a grammatical mistake in the second line.

 

You have 30 seconds to a minute to catch the readers eye,if you can do that you will be read a second time,if not it will be file 13.

[theosmith]

Can any one help on how it should or would look better.....I have never done a cv and is more of a letter answering what he had asked....I will drop the white English bit too

[DrBob]

Theo,

A few little points that will avoid offence. Firstly, do not say" White English Male", it's frowned upon.

Just say "27 year old UK national"

"Believe I am best described as"- say " I have a wide and varied social circles of loyal friends who would describe me as..."

Don't begin each with a Capital letter, "very keen to learning" is clumsy, say " ready and eager to accept new challenges"

Regarding shooting, use this as a positive point, "I have been formally assessed and judged by the Police Firearms Department to be of sufficient maturity and judgement to be allowed to possess firearms for sporting purposes"

Don't say "I have been thinking..." , it implies uncertaincy.

 

"After four years..." Just say that "the economic downturn resulted in redundancies, along with several colleagues ( not colleges!) I was made redundant"

Don't say "Scary and upsetting", say "although shaken and upset by this setback, I remained committed and determined to seek employment and was quickly interviewed for new positions. Having thoroughly researched the offered positions, I chose to work for "Green Timber", rapidly rising to the position of Production Manager"

Don't say "When I started working here..." Say " I established myself as a respected member of the team, several of my suggestions became adopted as working practice and my input became a regular and valued contribution"

Don't say "key member", rather " Although I have had a successful and rewarding time with the Company, I have now reached the point where I am keen to embrace new challenges rather than become complacent , as such I feel that the time has come to move on and explore new horizons"

What I want from life " At only twenty-seven, I appreciate that my ambitions and aspirations have evolved rapidly over the last few years. I am a gregarious and convivial type, I would see myself as a valued member of a team, but fully capable of independent thought and the ability to work alone and under pressure when the need arises. I would expect to be paid at a rate commensurate with my abilities, a fair day's work for a fair day's pay, and would hope to retain a close network of family and friends to provide acounterbalance to the stresses and strains of modern life. The old maxim " Health and Happiness" is a guiding principle I would do well to follow"

Only my thoughts, see what others think

Best Wishes , Rob

[Gordon R]

Rob - nicely put.

[theosmith]

Rob that is smashing I like it. I well re write it tomorrow. Thanks

[grrclark]

Theo, if you were writing a generic CV to send out as part of a standard application then my advice would echo most of the above, you need to change the format and the content.

 

However, you say that you have approached this chap to ask about a trainee vacancy and he has given you a specific set of questions to answer and that can change the rules.

 

By taking a different and much more personal approach you might actually appeal to this chap and highlight you from the other candidates who blindly follow CV templates and online guidance.

 

A couple of things need qualified first though, how well do you know "Keith'? Have you met face to face, was it a telephone call, how do you know him?

 

If your covering letter and CV, as above, landed on my desk as part of a general application then it would be straight onto the No pile, sorry to be harsh, but if I had asked you to write to me personally then I would look at it differently.

[theosmith]

Basically I had seen a job advertised a week ago and saved the page on my phone so I called the company and asked them out right would you consider a trainee as it said some machines can be taught....I explained to him a bit about my self and he said he is very interested and that he will talk with his sons, well he called me back as promised and arranged for me to meet him Monday. .....well he asked me to write everything down and I explained I don't have a cv and he said that's fine just tell me what machines I have used what I do and done and what I want from life

[grrclark]

In that case then I would not try and fit everything into a CV template, in that case I think a letter like you have written will serve you better, it is a much more personal approach in response to a conversation you have had.

 

You do need to work on the wording a little bit and definitely remove the white, English male comment. He already knows your a bloke as you chatted and the rest he will work out for himself when he sees you.

 

Your letter is a little bit conversational, but if that reflects you as a person then no bad thing, he has already chatted to you and has asked you to do a bit more, so he obviously likes what he has heard so far, no need to ry and reinvent yourself for the sake of a template CV, you are doing fine so far.

 

Rob has given you a good alternative way to write your letter, but don't just copy that word for word, use that as a way to help you maybe re-write your letter a little bit, but still write it in your own style.

 

Nothing wrong with your honesty saying that you have never done that sort of thing before, if you were to cobble together a CV from a template that would be fairly obvious anyway, so now you are showing candour and honesty, that is not a bad thing.

 

If you were applying for jobs from adverts, etc then I would advise something very different as you can go through HR people, etc, but following a template is not always the best/right way.

 

Best of luck with the whole process

[Sha Bu Le]

Lots of good advice given above............my contribution :-

 

Drop the white English male {state British male} drop all references to shooting including SGC & FAC.

 

"I changed the way the place was operated very fast" get rid of this, it says I am a pushy person who rides roughshod over people to get what I want.(will not endear you to existing employees some of whom will be consulted). Replace it with something like " I contributed along with colleagues to improvements within the company which improved efficiency"

 

Can't comment on Harlow College don't know the place.

 

As AVB says one would not expect a CV to be written in such personal tones. Drop or tone down.

 

Screen for typos, spelling and grammar, there are a few errors, not many but enough to question your "eye for detail" claim.

 

Don't bunch all of the equipment you have used or trained on into one or two lines. List them in an orderly fashion as a separate paragraph.

 

Just as an afterthought, if before I retired (used to be a quality control manager, degree in electronic engineering, HNC in industrial management and HNC in statistical quality control ...strewth, thought I would never leave uni/college) I had received a CV like this I doubt that I would have invited you for an interview. However I get the impression that you have a connection with some one called Keith within this company. So maybe you have some inside support.

 

Hope this helps and don't take it too personal.

 

Edit = :-

 

Dr Bob (Rob) has given a very constructive opinion and some good advice along with other contributors. Hope you can assimilate it and take it on board.

Edited October 15, 2014 by Sha Bu Le

[bakerboy]

This is going to sound really negative, but please do not take it that way.

 

You lost me within the first few words: My names Theo, "My name is Theo"

 

There is a lot of good advice above from the caring and helpful PW club, all I would add is this, spend a few pounds and have the CV compiled by someone that knows how to build a CV. It will be money well spent.

 

You often read on PW about having shooting lessons with a qualified coach and how that pays off, life skills are even more important.

 

Good luck for your future I hope you achieve your aspirations.

[ack-ack]

Just remember, at the interview make sure you ask; what time you finish, how long you get for lunch, and whether it's job and knock on Fridays.

[Sha Bu Le]

:lol:

 

All our work we've done in vain Ack-Ack has struck again.

 

Edit = past my peepy time g'night all.

Edited October 15, 2014 by Sha Bu Le