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Family fall out over wedding

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Feeling in a sombre mood which is rare for me.

 

Has anyone had their family fall out over weddings etc. It's happened with ours ( family) over a relative's wedding.

 

It's also brought to a head a load of other stuff from my brother, some of it going back many years but obviously churning inside him.

 

Way too long and convoluted to type in at the moment. I just want to walk away from him but this might possibly mean my daughter not seeing her cousins, not that she sees them much anyway as no one came on her birthday.

 

Anybody had something similar happen?

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Yup bet you get a fair response. As the saying goes you can choose your friends but your family are forced upon you. nowt as queer as family.

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My mother fell out with her brother 11 years ago over the care of their mother.

 

They were really close before but haven't spoken in 11 years.

 

Broadly although never diagnosed my uncle is a high functioning autistic type; he has no emotion and is very very difficult to deal with.

 

I know my mum still mourns the death of their relationship but my view is that you can't reasonable with the unreasonable - you'll just wear yourself out trying.

 

I think you have to ask yourself 'if he/she wasn't my brother/relative/whatever, would I want to be associated with him or spend anytime in their company?'

 

If the answer is 'no', then that *is* the answer.

.

Edited by Mungler

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Yes, Cousin took my phone and sent a txt to all my contacts about bum sex,engineers,architects,clients friends etc I didn't see the funny side and the rift is 7 years old now,

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this is something only you can sort out................it can be the start of something good ...or could make things worse...or at the least will stay the same......

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Not me personally but my mum has fallen out with her sister a few times and one time she didn't speak to her for over 5 years. They then started talking and seeing each other again for quite a few years but now she's not long fallen out with her again ( her sisters fault) and don't talk. I work with her son though. Just because they are family doesn't mean they are nice people. Phone him up and ask what his problem is and try to discuss it and if he goes off on one put the phone down and stuff him. Your daughter can still see her cousins and if he stops that then that tells you what type of person he is.

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Yes, Cousin took my phone and sent a txt to all my contacts about bum sex,engineers,architects,clients friends etc I didn't see the fun side and the rift is 7 years old now,

I can :lol:

My father has not spoken to his sister for 30 years and the fall out was over nothing much .

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OH has five sisters, none of whom are right in the head, including mine. I'm serious. They have issues going back to the time their parents split up ( over 20 years ago ) and they have made allies and pacts and broken them and formed new ones with a previous 'bitch' many many times over the years. I stopped being involved a long time ago.

When their mother developed cancer earlier in the year three took turns caring for her needs but refused to tell the other three ( whom they weren't talking to for various reasons ) that their mother was terminally ill. It is far too complicated and pathetically juvenile to go into here, ( I'm going on holiday in July so haven't the time ) but things eventually came to a head when the other three found out about the cancer and I seriously expected the funeral to turn into a fist fight between the six of them.

Their hatred, spite and stubbornness is something to behold and it eats away at them like poison. One of them can't even find it within themselves to spare their nieces ( whom are teenagers ) from their bile. They are pathetically sad people, and my OH has often said if they weren't her sisters she wouldn't bother with them, and now she doesn't have to; the death of their mother has removed any link they had. OH hasn't had any contact with three of her sisters since their mothers death. All of them, without exception, could benefit form therapy as all still carry monumental chips on their shoulders. One of them was even dancing to the music in church as her mothers coffin went past. I have no idea what goes on inside their heads.

As a result, out of nine cousins on her side of the family, our two kids only see two of theirs. There was a time when they all played together. Both of mine are totally indifferent to this, have loads of their own friends are are happy and popular, and that's all that matters to me. Kids are very resilient; don't worry.

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As far as I know no one in my family has fallen out with any other member of the family, but then we are not in each others pockets. I've not seen or spoken to some of them for years but know if I range them up and asked for a bed for the night they would find one same as if any of them asked the same of me

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Don't fall out with your family, adopt strategies for coping but always leave the door open. Don't say what you think just nod and let it go.

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A little bit of forethought might convince you that hindsight is a wonderful thing. The less regrets you have on your deathbed, the better it'll be for you and your family. Sometimes we just don't try hard enough to understand each other.

Edited by Cannon

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hello, i do not know about weddings but from what i can recollect from the age of 5 my family were like the ITV drama family at war 1970/1972 if i remember, like we say you can choose your friends but not family,

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Family! I have not fallen out with anyone as far back as i can remember except my mother, she on the other hand has/does fall out with just about everyone in her life, family, friends, colleagues, next door neighbors, postman etc.... Some people are just a pain in the backside

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My auntie and uncle have not spoken to each other since 1970 when my nan died , it was after the funeral back At my nans house it was over 10 shillings or 50p and the the spindriier . They would not go their brothers funerals but did come to my mums funeral uncle drove down to Hampshire went to the church then drove strait back aunty came

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this is something only you can sort out................it can be the start of something good ...or could make things worse...or at the least will stay the same......

you dont say. :lol: .................only messing ditchman,did make me smile though

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My sister died 18 years ago and yes we argued but we were 16 and 19 . I would chop my arms off to bring her back so people need to get their ***** into gear and make up .

Your here once

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Yup, Haven't spoken to my brother in 5 years. He was an alcoholic by his mid twenty's. My parent refused to accept it and live many miles away. The resulting fall out from his drink fuelled binges was left for me and an elderly auntie to sort out. I tried so hard to get him back on track but each time it would be thrown back at me in one way or another.

 

He eventually emigrated to Australia and as far as i'm concerned its not far enough away. He was like a cancer in the family that was finally removed.

He is now married with kids etc and my wife keeps in touch with his wife. My Mrs is constantly on at me to get back in touch with him. What she doesn't realise is that I have absolutely no wish to contact him ever again. I honestly couldn't care less any more. He has killed any feelings I ever had for him through his actions.

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A 16 year old boy use to go on an annual fox drive arranged by the local farmers and some Army officers, it covered woods, farmland and a number of disused chalk quarries in the area.

Farmworkers, squaddies and other locals formed a large group of Beaters, armed with many noise making items, including Army "flashbangs".

Being a good shot, he was lucky enough to be one of the few guns chosen to be placed in the "hot spots", that the foxes would be driven towards.

 

He had an elder sister that regularly got engaged to a different boy every few months and had a complicated love life.

She announced one Summer that she was going to get married (having recently got engaged) , something she had done before, but it had never happened.

However, this year it did happen and the Saturday she chose coincided with the Fox Drive.

The 16 year old asked his mother if he could still go to the Shoot as it was so important and he could join the wedding at the Reception late afternoon.

His mother said he couldn't go, but that morning he left the house before daylight, his grandmother was lighting the fires and shook her head at him as he took his gun and headed for the local farm, to wait for the others to arrive.

 

He went on the Fox Drive, shot a few foxes and had a great day.

He rushed home, washed and changed into his school uniform (his best clothes) and ran to the Village Hall where the Reception was being held.

As he went to enter an uncle blocked the door and told him that his mother had said he was not allowed in the Hall.

So he went home to bed, knowing that his mother wouldn't wake him and he would just have to take his punishment the next day.

 

On the Sunday his mother was not very well and so he got a lighter version of what he was expecting, but knew it wasn't the end of the matter.

When his sister called at the house to collect some items before they went away on "honeymoon", she refused to see him, or accept an apology.

 

She moved from the area and eventually went to live in Scotland.

All this happened 53 years ago and we have never spoken to each other since.

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I must be unique. I lost my mum when I was 11. Pretty much since then I couldn't give two shakes of a badgers tail if my dad and brother are alive or dead. I'll not mourn their passing or take a day off to see them put in the ground. Wonder why the lads on site call me miserable

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A 16 year old boy use to go on an annual fox drive arranged by the local farmers and some Army officers, it covered woods, farmland and a number of disused chalk quarries in the area.

Farmworkers, squaddies and other locals formed a large group of Beaters, armed with many noise making items, including Army "flashbangs".

Being a good shot, he was lucky enough to be one of the few guns chosen to be placed in the "hot spots", that the foxes would be driven towards.

 

He had an elder sister that regularly got engaged to a different boy every few months and had a complicated love life.

She announced one Summer that she was going to get married (having recently got engaged) , something she had done before, but it had never happened.

However, this year it did happen and the Saturday she chose coincided with the Fox Drive.

The 11 year old asked his mother if he could still go to the Shoot as it was so important and he could join the wedding at the Reception late afternoon.

His mother said he couldn't go, but that morning he left the house before daylight, his grandmother was lighting the fires and shook her head at him as he took his gun and headed for the local farm, to wait for the others to arrive.

 

He went on the Fox Drive, shot a few foxes and had a great day.

He rushed home, washed and changed into his school uniform (his best clothes) and ran to the Village Hall where the Reception was being held.

As he went to enter an uncle blocked the door and told him that his mother had said he was not allowed in the Hall.

So he went home to bed, knowing that his mother wouldn't wake him and he would just have to take his punishment the next day.

 

On the Sunday his mother was not very well and so he got a lighter version of what he was expecting, but knew it wasn't the end of the matter.

When his sister called at the house to collect some items before they went away on "honeymoon", she refused to see him, or accept an apology.

 

She moved from the area and eventually went to live in Scotland.

All this happened 53 years ago and we have never spoken to each other since.

A shame for you, you must surely regret it though ? fortunately I have never thought the shooting is the most important thing in my life as much as I love it.

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A 16 year old boy use to go on an annual fox drive arranged by the local farmers and some Army officers, it covered woods, farmland and a number of disused chalk quarries in the area.

Farmworkers, squaddies and other locals formed a large group of Beaters, armed with many noise making items, including Army "flashbangs".

Being a good shot, he was lucky enough to be one of the few guns chosen to be placed in the "hot spots", that the foxes would be driven towards.

 

He had an elder sister that regularly got engaged to a different boy every few months and had a complicated love life.

She announced one Summer that she was going to get married (having recently got engaged) , something she had done before, but it had never happened.

However, this year it did happen and the Saturday she chose coincided with the Fox Drive.

The 16 year old asked his mother if he could still go to the Shoot as it was so important and he could join the wedding at the Reception late afternoon.

His mother said he couldn't go, but that morning he left the house before daylight, his grandmother was lighting the fires and shook her head at him as he took his gun and headed for the local farm, to wait for the others to arrive.

 

He went on the Fox Drive, shot a few foxes and had a great day.

He rushed home, washed and changed into his school uniform (his best clothes) and ran to the Village Hall where the Reception was being held.

As he went to enter an uncle blocked the door and told him that his mother had said he was not allowed in the Hall.

So he went home to bed, knowing that his mother wouldn't wake him and he would just have to take his punishment the next day.

 

On the Sunday his mother was not very well and so he got a lighter version of what he was expecting, but knew it wasn't the end of the matter.

When his sister called at the house to collect some items before they went away on "honeymoon", she refused to see him, or accept an apology.

 

She moved from the area and eventually went to live in Scotland.

All this happened 53 years ago and we have never spoken to each other since.

That is absolutey tragic

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Births deaths and marriages all bring out the best and the worst in a family.

My uncle did not talk to my aunt for five years when she named her first born son after my grandfather, all because he wanted to call his first son after him.

The fuuny bit was the uncle had three girls in those five years then gave up. :lol: . :lol:

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A shame for you, you must surely regret it though ? fortunately I have never thought the shooting is the most important thing in my life as much as I love it.

A shame for you, you must surely regret it though ? fortunately I have never thought the shooting is the most important thing in my life as much as I love it.

At sixteen your expected to make mistakes ...can't see how someone would or could harbour a grudge against little more than a child for all those years ..how sad must she be .

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