iano Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 (edited) I haven’t prayed in over a decade, but the impact of the words ‘suspected brain injury’ can really make you question your atheism. Getting a call on a bank holiday Monday to tell you that your partner has had a accident and is on the way the way to hospital is an event that will get the nerves going. Reading between the lines and recognising that she wasn’t sent to the nearest hospital, and that she got there in a time that isn’t really possible by ambulance lets you start to accept that things are serious. I drive to Cork, fast. Arriving to hear that she has a bad concussion, and that recovery is measured in months floors me. Suddenly everything that we had been thinking about, planning and discussing is gone. Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I casually shouted goodbye to this morning, is now cognitively impaired is just not possible. At least I had told her I loved her. I struggle to control both my temper and my tears. Broken bones, I can understand. A broken mind, I cannot. Everything she has worked for over the last decade; her work, her doctorate, her sports, her life with me now stands on a knife-edge in my mind. Will she know who she is? Will she remember what she spent so many years learning and polishing? Will we be the same? Will there still be an us? Have 10 years of a shared life just been erased? As I’m hearing her prognosis, I never thought I would take so much solace from the phrase ‘no evidence of brain damage’. Contusions, swelling, bleeding, release; horror filled words under a normal circumstances become concepts that I cling to, because they are only temporary. At least, under normal circumstances they are. What defines normal when the subject is severe trauma to the brain? I get to see her briefly. She seems to recognise me and seem to take comfort from me being there. I’ll take that. I arrive in my hotel late and for the first time in many years, I pray. Has my long lost faith been rekindled? No, but for a few minutes I just want to make this someone else’s problem. I find it surprisingly comforting. I don't really know why I'm posting this, I guess trying to put order on my thoughts is helpful at this moment. Edited June 7, 2016 by iano Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djrwood Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Thoughts and well intentioned good luck sent to you. The signs you mention look good, so regardless of religion, keep the faith and belief that everything will be ok. My thoughts are with you both at this awful testing time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islandgun Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 (edited) really sorry to hear this and I hope your partner makes a rapid and full recovery, I am no stranger to what you are going through and I prayed mostly because there was nothing left to do, I found it really helped in fact I still offer up thanks most days, so yes I'm all for praying, good luck Edited June 7, 2016 by islandgun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thelongwayup Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Wow! What a truly awful day for you all. I sincerely hope everything is ok for your better half and you. Makes my miserable day pale into insignificance. Take comfort in the fact she knew who you were when she saw you and the doctors are working their hardest to help her. You both have my best wishes and I hope her recovery is a swift and short one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShootingEgg Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Thoughts are with you and family bud Ten years ago my sister had a horrific epileptic fit and ended up in a coma for 2 months. When she came round she did not recognise me, so to hear your partner is recognising you and taking comfort from you being there. Can understand your emotions will be everywhere.. Stay positive bud... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Geordie Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Sorry to hear your news😩 hope things work out! ATB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVB Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Best wishes to you both. Let's hope that in a few days you are having a laugh about it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rabbit_stu Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Best wishes to you both and I can only hope for the speediest of recoveries! Atb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sian Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 So very sorry you are having to go through this. Wishing your partner a quick and full recovery and wishing you find strength to persevere through this dreadful experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winnie&bezza Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Sorry to hear and when news of something like this comes to you, everything stops and pales into complete insignificance. How all goes well and she makes a full recovery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iano Posted June 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 (edited) Thanks guys - I know that rationally, the signs are good and the progress made so far is good but I can't get over the change in her from a smart, funny happy person to someone who has the cognitive equivalency of an early stage primary schooler. I know she should start to pull together and snap back to something like she was but what I'm seeing now is terrifying. Edited June 7, 2016 by iano Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShootingEgg Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Iano, the brain is amazing thing, i think its something silly like we know more about the moon than we do the human brain. And if you could of seen my sister after coming out of a coma and see her now you would be amazed.. As I said earlier, stay strong and positive for her... My thoughts are with you.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8 90 Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Iano, my thoughts are with you & your wife. 3 years ago I rushed my wife into hospital with a burst appendix - it had actually burst around 5 days prior & she was very very poorly ! that day was probably the worst day of my life, it sure brings reality home. As you say all the things you've worked for etc are worthless. I too prayed that day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keg Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Thoughts and prayers for you both, as has been said, it all sounds positive so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zapp Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 Fingers crossed for you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmr Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 iano,my fingers are crossed for you both.hope for a speedy recovery.i have gone through a similer bad time with wife having breast cancer.she has had good signs and all looking well now.there is light at end of tunnel and not just someone with a torch.keep the faith.its marvelous what medical science can do nowadays,good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigeon controller Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 I'm glad that you posted as that is good for you. I hope you can stay strong for your partner and that she starts to go down the road to recovery with your support. As you say physical damage I can comprehend , bone, ligaments etc. Mental illness is very difficult. I have three very close friends who suffer depression and I find it difficult to comprehend what they are going through as my glass is always half full with there's half empty. I hope that your prayers are answered and the recovery process starts soon our thoughts are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iano Posted June 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 Thanks guys, she is better today and the rehab has begun. Couple more weeks in hospital before she can leave, but no degradation so far. Thank you for the kind messages Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islandgun Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 Thanks guys, she is better today and the rehab has begun. Couple more weeks in hospital before she can leave, but no degradation so far. Thank you for the kind messages Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7daysinaweek Posted June 9, 2016 Report Share Posted June 9, 2016 wishing her a speedy recovery atb 7diaw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitchiet123 Posted June 9, 2016 Report Share Posted June 9, 2016 Very sorry to hear this mate. Wish your partner a speedy recovery. In times like this we cling onto anything we have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southman1 Posted June 9, 2016 Report Share Posted June 9, 2016 My wishes are with you ,know how you feel .we had weekend on the Isle of weight she had an acadent on her mobility scooter broke her hip , had a emergency op next day her body swelled up like a mitchelean man ,rushed in to intensive care it was touch and go if she pulled through it was kidney failure.we moan about the nhs but they are with you when the going gets tough.in their for 3 weeks one to one she pulled through then transverd to the q a at Portsmouth on the high inderpenet ward for anover 3 weeks Still has regular blood tests for her kidneys this happened 3 years a go but has limeated mobility due to the hip Sochet is in fused to gether . Hope it ends well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaun4860 Posted June 9, 2016 Report Share Posted June 9, 2016 Glad it seems to be working out for the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iano Posted June 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2016 Thanks guys - great recovery so far. She is walking, talking and planning ways to escape from hospital. Still a bit confused and will be in for a few more days, but all in all, she was very lucky and seems to be progressing quickly. Thanks again for all good wishes, until we knew where we stood, I wasn't telling many people so this thread was quite a comfort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winnie&bezza Posted June 12, 2016 Report Share Posted June 12, 2016 Brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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