Jump to content

Marriage question for you all


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 130
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

We are all sentient beings.

Life is hard, endless pressures and admitting it is seen as a weakness, a sign of failure, especially for blokes.

My guess is that you are down at the moment, ground down by the pressures of work, society, children, debts etc, and you see your wife as a stable bastion, a beacon of decency in a corrupt and amoral world. For her to show up with a bunch of silly women friends and make a direct statement of her intent to shock, has added to the mix and overloaded your coping ability.

A bit of dope is not the issue. You've both changed, probably tended to become isolated from each other, and bad thoughts quickly grow.

Take her out, to somewhere special, and tell her how you feel. Tell her you're frightened, that you need her and want her. My guess is that she'll dismiss her friends as a bit of a laugh. She's a Mum, remember. She's never had time to just let her hair down, to escape the school run, homework, washing etc, and just wanted to be silly for a night. Her kids will always come first.

Last summer was warm. This one's rainy. Next year might be brilliant.

Don't walk away. Many wise words on this thread.

Edited by DrBob
Link to post
Share on other sites

We are all sentient beings.

Life is hard, endless pressures and admitting it is seen as a weakness, a sign of failure, especially for blokes.

My guess is that you are down at the moment, ground down by the pressures of work, society, children, debts etc, and you see your wife as a stable bastion, a beacon of decency in a corrupt and amoral world. For her to show up with a bunch of silly women friends and make a direct statement of her intent to shock, has added to the mix and overloaded your coping ability.

A bit of dope is not the issue. You've both changed, probably tended to become isolated from each other, and bad thoughts quickly grow.

Take her out, to somewhere special, and tell her how you feel. Tell her you're frightened, that you need her and want her. My guess is that she'll dismiss her friends as a bit of a laugh. She's a Mum, remember. She's never had time to just let her hair down, to escape the school run, homework, washing etc, and just wanted to be silly for a night. Her kids will always come first.

Last summer was warm. This one's rainy. Next year might be brilliant.

Don't walk away. Many wise words on this thread.

thank you this was helpful

We have had a chat today and I think we will try to stay together this was not the sole reason but the straw that broke the camels back so to speak we have been growing apart for a while I feel and I was/am scared that I will lose her. I work nights which probably doesn't help and am trying to move onto the day shift where I work to get more time together in the evenings however we both work shifts so hopefully it will be ok.

Edited by mattyg1086
Link to post
Share on other sites

We are all sentient beings.

Life is hard, endless pressures and admitting it is seen as a weakness, a sign of failure, especially for blokes.

My guess is that you are down at the moment, ground down by the pressures of work, society, children, debts etc, and you see your wife as a stable bastion, a beacon of decency in a corrupt and amoral world. For her to show up with a bunch of silly women friends and make a direct statement of her intent to shock, has added to the mix and overloaded your coping ability.

A bit of dope is not the issue. You've both changed, probably tended to become isolated from each other, and bad thoughts quickly grow.

Take her out, to somewhere special, and tell her how you feel. Tell her you're frightened, that you need her and want her. My guess is that she'll dismiss her friends as a bit of a laugh. She's a Mum, remember. She's never had time to just let her hair down, to escape the school run, homework, washing etc, and just wanted to be silly for a night. Her kids will always come first.

Last summer was warm. This one's rainy. Next year might be brilliant.

Don't walk away. Many wise words on this thread.

Great post Dr Bob.

Only thing I could add to it is 'Make love not war' life is too damn short.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Every person and situation is a constant moving sea of different levels, expectations and demands. I married one person who changed into someone else when the family came along. someone has to be the captain of the ship and stear some sort of course through the rocks and shallows. Even if you think that you haven't been the cause of the problem, whatever it is, it is you who needs to get in there and do something about it sooner rather than later. Generally the grass ain't greener over there and the novelty soon wears off. What you perceive as her faults may well fade into insignificance when you are on your own in some grotty poky bed sit doing for yourself with not a lot of money and no input into the situation that you did have. Best wishes to you. make the right decisions.

Link to post
Share on other sites

thank you this was helpful

We have had a chat today and I think we will try to stay together this was not the sole reason but the straw that broke the camels back so to speak we have been growing apart for a while I feel and I was/am scared that I will lose her. I work nights which probably doesn't help and am trying to move onto the day shift where I work to get more time together in the evenings however we both work shifts so hopefully it will be ok.

I would be careful of changing to day shift if it's straight days, I've always worked shifts but every now and then I think I'll be normal and work days like everyone else. It doesn't take long to realise why you liked nights, more money less hassle, take the kids to school, walk the dog at your leisure, just my thoughts good luck.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Matty Matty Matty :rolleyes: She is your wife but not someone that you can decide how she has to live her life. Di9d you tell her how to bring up the kids or were you always there doing it all before she got the chance?

I hope you never get into the type of situation where your down the boozer and you end up snogging another female or even worse one of wifey's mates :yahoo:

How could you even bring yourself to tell her? Or would you?.

What on earth are you and your mates doing talking about your sex-life - how condescending of you to do that. You supposedly have a pair of nuts on your body then start using them and man up - do not talk about your love life that is so wrong or is it a case of ooh I'm a big boy listen to what i do with my wife. And then you go ballistic about her saying she had a spliff and told you it was no big deal and didn't enjoy it. And then you took the huff basically and took yourself out of the marital bed - WHY? You did that to yourself not your wife! :no::sad1::whistling:

 

Dear God I am praying that this couple see the light and get it on again and have a long and lasting life ahead of them (Mines 33 years this month and boy have we had our ups and downs) its not easy. :/

 

Pushkin :innocent:

 

Best of luck mate :good::yes:

Link to post
Share on other sites

If it floats, runs or fornicates, it's better to lease than own, so bin the current one and hire yourself a new one from Russia or the Far East (depending on your flavour choice).

 

Most of them start out grateful for a roof over their head and indoor plumbing and you can chop her in when you get bored.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If it floats, runs or fornicates, it's better to lease than own, so bin the current one and hire yourself a new one from Russia or the Far East (depending on your flavour choice).

 

Most of them start out grateful for a roof over their head and indoor plumbing and you can chop her in when you get bored.

I've heard that the Salvation Army save bad women !! I'm sure that if you ask nicely, they might put a couple by for you for the weekend. >> I've been married for far too long.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a bird once that was a stoner.... most amazing intercourse ever, the things that girl wanted to do after joint hahaha

Dowm side was- afterwards she'd eat every last bit of chocolate and bag of crisps in a 50 metre radius lol

was she a fat bird
Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like a control issue to me ,you dont like the fact she did what she and her friends did,get over yourself or someone will get over your wife,then you will realise that you are being a berk. Ive been there and got the T shirt and its not nice.

Link to post
Share on other sites

off hire her and sub-contract some in...

Tinder... tell em your a fireman/pilot.

 

Job jobbed.

If it floats, runs or fornicates, it's better to lease than own, so bin the current one and hire yourself a new one from Russia or the Far East (depending on your flavour choice).

 

Most of them start out grateful for a roof over their head and indoor plumbing and you can chop her in when you get bored.

Strong advice but I like your thinking...

Link to post
Share on other sites

Matty Matty Matty :rolleyes: She is your wife but not someone that you can decide how she has to live her life. Di9d you tell her how to bring up the kids or were you always there doing it all before she got the chance?

I hope you never get into the type of situation where your down the boozer and you end up snogging another female or even worse one of wifey's mates :yahoo:

How could you even bring yourself to tell her? Or would you?.

What on earth are you and your mates doing talking about your sex-life - how condescending of you to do that. You supposedly have a pair of nuts on your body then start using them and man up - do not talk about your love life that is so wrong or is it a case of ooh I'm a big boy listen to what i do with my wife. And then you go ballistic about her saying she had a spliff and told you it was no big deal and didn't enjoy it. And then you took the huff basically and took yourself out of the marital bed - WHY? You did that to yourself not your wife! :no::sad1::whistling:

 

Dear God I am praying that this couple see the light and get it on again and have a long and lasting life ahead of them (Mines 33 years this month and boy have we had our ups and downs) its not easy. :/

 

Pushkin :innocent:

 

Best of luck mate :good::yes:

I never talk about my sex life it's our mutual friends say things that they do and I'm thinking in my head I must be really boring. I wouldn't tell anyone about my sex life that would be very disrespectful to my wife

Link to post
Share on other sites

Post 1

......I am disgusted with her ...... I'll always love her but this has turned me right off her now

 

Latest post

 

 

....I wouldn't tell anyone about my sex life that would be very disrespectful to my wife...

 

YEAH!!!

 

Great. You do love her.

 

Well done.

 

Keep talking to each other.

 

I'm sure you'll work it out. :good:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.


×
×
  • Create New...