Scotland to ban smacking children

[Paul1440]

Good on Scotland. In my book it is wrong to smack or use fear of physical abuse correction. It's ultimately ineffective and results in resent. As said is there an age limit. When you see these cases of care assistants giving OAPs in homes a slap how does it make you feel.

I will not slap/smack mine. Setting boundarys and sticking to your consequences works. Eg. Do that again you will lose (insert fave toy/electronuc device) for a day/week or activity. I don't have a problem with behaviour.

Edited October 22, 2017 by Paul1440

[ips]

Good on Scotland. In my book it is wrong to smack or use fear of physical abuse correction. It's ultimately ineffective and results in resent. As said is there an age limit. When you see these cases of care assistants giving OAPs in homes a slap how does it make you feel.

I will not slap/smack mine. Setting boundarys and sticking to your consequences works. Eg. Do that again you will lose (insert fave toy/electronuc device) for a day/week or activity. I don't have a problem with behaviour.

👍

[JimLondon]

Nothing wrong with admitting that Jim.

I recall once having a fight with my brother when we were both young lads. As I recall he even started it, he kept going for me so I gave a bit back. Instead of coming back again he started to cry.

Don't think I've ever felt as ashamed as I did in that moment!

Why is it we feel the most shame as when we hurt our own.

 

Jim, I got smacked, rarely, but it did happen. My 3 kids all got a smack on the bum or on the hands at some point. Yes it scared them but it didn't SCAR them. Parental chastisement teaches boundaries if it's done correctly.

Beatings achieve nothing but resentment. Chastisement, including the odd smack on the bum do not destroy the love between parent and child. My daughter has even said that she wished I'd been harder on her as a child and maybe she wouldn't have been such an awkward little mare. Again, it's down to the parents. More importantly, how is your relationship with your son now? My eldest son and I were always at loggerheads thanks to his mum, now we're affectionate and best friends, mutual respect and always there for each other. I'm not proud that he got a smacked rear end as a kid but he's a bloody smashing, well adjusted and beautiful adult and I'm so ******* proud of him you wouldn't believe!

I admire you greatly for that post

My relationship with my son has always been very good, I'm 52 and he's 25, we still cuddle and I tell him almost every day that I love and admire him.

[ips]

 

My relationship with my son has always been very good, I'm 52 and he's 25, we still cuddle and I tell him almost every day that I love and admire him.

👍

 

My relationship with my son has always been very good, I'm 52 and he's 25, we still cuddle and I tell him almost every day that I love and admire him.

👍

[JimLondon]

Nothing wrong with admitting that Jim.

I recall once having a fight with my brother when we were both young lads. As I recall he even started it, he kept going for me so I gave a bit back. Instead of coming back again he started to cry.

Don't think I've ever felt as ashamed as I did in that moment!

I admire you greatly for that post

Lloyd why is it we feel so much shame when we hurt our own?

 

Ips thank you

Edited October 22, 2017 by JimLondon

[Dr D]

Yes I believe it is, in the regard of physical correction

 

Its the best analogy I have.

 

Can the child not be taught boundaries' in other ways

Your analogy is spot on. The only rational basis to justify the defence of 'reasonable chastisement' of a child is based on their supposed lack of capacity. That's what makes children different from adults. And yet, no one would defend 'reasonable chastisement' of an adult who lacked capacity. An older person? A person with a disability maybe? Good for Scotland, showing the rest of us a progressive 21st Century law!

Edited October 22, 2017 by Dr D

[timmytree]

So what does that tell you Jim? How many kids that never had physical discipline have a good relationship with their parents? How many kids that had loving relationships without discipline turned into little scrotes that caused nothing but trouble?

There is no "one size fits all" remedy for parenting. I think I got it right, all my kids had an element of physical, IE an occasional smack. They all love me and I love them. My daughter even says that her son needs my input as regards discipline but tempered with the love and understanding that only a grandparent can have. I love the little lad but if he doesn't get discipline he will turn out to be a waste of oxygen like his dad. If an occasional smack will stop him being a drug addicted, bullying slob like his dad then I'll take the chance. The alternative is another thug that goes around robbing family and friends of cash and belongings with little or no fear of retribution.

[JimLondon]

So what does that tell you Jim? How many kids that never had physical discipline have a good relationship with their parents? How many kids that had loving relationships without discipline turned into little scrotes that caused nothing but trouble?

There is no "one size fits all" remedy for parenting. I think I got it right, all my kids had an element of physical, IE an occasional smack. They all love me and I love them. My daughter even says that her son needs my input as regards discipline but tempered with the love and understanding that only a grandparent can have. I love the little lad but if he doesn't get discipline he will turn out to be a waste of oxygen like his dad. If an occasional smack will stop him being a drug addicted, bullying slob like his dad then I'll take the chance. The alternative is another thug that goes around robbing family and friends of cash and belongings with little or no fear of retribution.

It tells me that I regret smacking my son when I know that I could have disciplined him in another way. I wasn't trying to tell other parents how to or not to discipline their children, I've no doubt most "smacked" children have loving relationships with their parents (including me) I was merely trying to say how it made me feel.

[ips]

Your analogy is spot on. The only rational basis to justify the defence of 'reasonable chastisement' of a child is based on their supposed lack of capacity. That's what makes children different from adults. And yet, no one would defend 'reasonable chastisement' of an adult who lacked capacity. An older person? A person with a disability maybe? Good for Scotland, showing the rest of us a progressive 21st Century law!

Indeed 👍

[timmytree]

It tells me that I regret smacking my son when I know that I could have disciplined him in another way. I wasn't trying to tell other parents how to or not to discipline their children, I've no doubt most "smacked" children have loving relationships with their parents (including me) I was merely trying to say how it made me feel.

My son was an asthmatic child, his mother allowed him to play on his illness to the detriment of the rest of the family. He drove me to distraction one day when he was being an abnoxious little horror due to his mums influence, he was her favourite and could do no wrong. Eventually I said "If you carry on you'll get a smacked bum" He replied "If you smack me I'll get asthma." So I smacked his bum and said "have you got asthma yet?" he said no so I gave him another tap.

He learnt his lesson and I learnt mine. I wish that I didn't feel that I had to do it but it was a battle of wills between my son and me, not helped by his mother being so bloody useless because she was besotted by my son to the detriment of my daughter. It's past, now I have a better relationship with my son than I do with my daughter, explain that.

[JimLondon]

My son was an asthmatic child, his mother allowed him to play on his illness to the detriment of the rest of the family. He drove me to distraction one day when he was being an abnoxious little horror due to his mums influence, he was her favourite and could do no wrong. Eventually I said "If you carry on you'll get a smacked bum" He replied "If you smack me I'll get asthma." So I smacked his bum and said "have you got asthma yet?" he said no so I gave him another tap.

He learnt his lesson and I learnt mine. I wish that I didn't feel that I had to do it but it was a battle of wills between my son and me, not helped by his mother being so bloody useless because she was besotted by my son to the detriment of my daughter. It's past, now I have a better relationship with my son than I do with my daughter, explain that.

I can't explain it mate, I'm not trying to bang a drum for the abolishment of smacking children. Every parent will discipline their children how they see fit. I'm no expert at parenting,I like everyone else learnt as I went along.

 

Every day is a school day even at my age

[neil w]

I consider that any hands on correction is wrong. It is by definition physical abuse

To those who think its ok to smack a child consider this scenario. Your elderly parent is in a care home and for arguments sake suffering from a degree of dementia and therefore acting at times similar to a young child, the staff use a slap on the leg as a correction for the behaviour would you consider it justified. ?

If you do not then why is it ok on a child but not an adult ??

You're bananas !!.

[grrclark]

Working off my phone between pages so cannot multiquote, however in response to my question of is it acceptable for the state to interfere in parenting through act of legislation? IPS you said yes in this context you agree.

 

A few other posters have also commended the proposed law.

 

For clarity what we are talking about is a smack it is a very minor act of physical admonishment, it's not a beating or a thumping, it is a simple smack.

 

Many have posted on here that they believe a smack is and has been appropriate, many have given testimony that they received a smack and feel no resentment for that. Many have said that they have smacked a child.

 

By inference those that commend the law are content that those commenting saying that they have smacked their children should be subject to prosecution for what is tantamount to physical abuse of a child. Equally it also saying that they consider that if their parents smacked them that they (parents) should have been subject to posecution. Is that appropriate?

 

Also if it is acceptable for the state to interfere and legislate against a smack would it be appropriate for the state to criminalise parents who feed their children poorly? Not talking about starvation, but an unbalanced and poor quality diet. We could legislate that there must be 5 a day or 10 a day portions of fruit and veg.

 

Say giving their kids sugary foods so they have a bit of tooth decay and toothache. Maybe implement legislation that a child must brush their teeth 3 times a day. If not the parents are subject to prosecution.

 

What about parents who allow their kids to grow fat, is that a physical abuse? Should the state interfere if a kid exceeds a fat threshold, after all that is detrimental to development, has mental implications from teasing, etc. Easy to police that one, 'your kid's a porker matey, you'll be in front of the beak in the morning''.

 

What about parents that let their kids play rugby (to pick on another thread) or other contact sports, there is a risk of physical injury that could absolutely be avoided through choice. Should the state act as guardian and simply legislate against that? It is actually being called for after all.

 

You may think my examples are stupid, but go back 1 generation and talk of legislation to ban a measured physical admonishment of a child would have been thought stupid.

 

I am not advocating people smack their children, that is a parenting decision.

 

I absolutely do consider that state interference in everyday parental decision through legislation is the creeping edge of a much more sinister and insidious culture that we are inviting upon ourselves.

Edited October 22, 2017 by grrclark

[TIGHTCHOKE]

An interesting view, where would it stop?

[Scotty99]

When I was at school punishments included the cane, the cricket bat (not kidding) and the electric chair......no seriously.....built out of metal shelving angle units and wired up to a generator....built by our mad science teacher.

[Lampwick]

My mum still smacks me when I'm being a pain!! I'm 52!

[Bazooka Joe]

When I was at school punishments included the cane, the cricket bat (not kidding) and the electric chair......no seriously.....built out of metal shelving angle units and wired up to a generator....built by our mad science teacher.

 

You didn't go to my school did you...lol

 

Cane, fish slice of the cookery teacher, size 14 sandshoe of the P.E. teacher, or the rounder bat.

 

A ruler side on across the back of the knuckles, & god help you if you crossed the metalwork teacher & you were in the football team, you suffered greatly on the pitch.

 

I think the bigger social problem is that increasingly there are no deterrents to misbehaviour in a childs life and more lately as young adults there is an increasing disrespect for authority and police.

 

 

My opinion is it all went tits up taking the wack out of school.