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Divorce looking likely


Clodhopper
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I thought it would be a good idea to plan a surprise 40th for my wife, how wrong was I. She is generally a patient easy going lady, she needs to be to put up with my pigeon chasing obsession but I am currently driving her mad. All the secret phone calls, slipping off arrange food and music etc. is meaning that she now thinks I am having an affair (I don't think anyone else would have me). To cap it off I left some b&b details scribbled on an envelope on the dining room table which pushed her over the edge, not speaking to each other for a few hours and the like.

 

I have nearly caved in and told her but she always says I never surprise her so I am sticking to my guns.

Never again will I do something like this.  As it is very stressful never mind seriously curtailing pigeon shooting.

 

Sorry for the rant just need have whinge.

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11 minutes ago, JDog said:

Just blame me, I can take it.

Giles and yourself are already getting some of the heat when I sneak out. 

 

Seems weird having to take gun, decoys and Labrador when meeting someone to discuss music and lighting.?

3 minutes ago, la bala said:

You will both have a good laugh about on the day, and who knows it could be a night you will remember 

?

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8 minutes ago, R1nut said:

I was once blamed for a mates passion for porn, I was single at the time and to him the obvious choice! His wife wouldn't let me anywhere near the house again!!! Talk about taking one for the team!!!!!

My now ex brother in law was going away working, so pressed print on some saucy pictures off the net, however the printer wasn't working, off he went to Poland,  he had a lot of explaining to do when the printer was fixed by my sister and the print que actually printed. ?

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25 minutes ago, shootthepigeon said:

My now ex brother in law was going away working, so pressed print on some saucy pictures off the net, however the printer wasn't working, off he went to Poland,  he had a lot of explaining to do when the printer was fixed by my sister and the print que actually printed. ?

Yep very similar situation, apart from it wasn't just "normal" pictures!! He is a wrongen, and she found the lot!

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Only in Lincolnshire...

An old countryman once said to me: " You need to train a woman just like you do a dawg".

So get the good lady up at first light, she cooks breakfast first and then washes up. Then she puts all the gear, guns, deeks, shells, netting, poles etc. in your motor and off you both trot for a passionate day in the hide together. After you've treated her to sausage and chips on the way home, she can then clean your gun, de-breast the sixty pigeons you've shot, wash down the dog and only then is she allowed to put her nighty on ready for you while you finish watching Match of the Day or Premiership Rugby ( your preference). 

If it doesn't work try moving to Sutton Bridge.  Good luck my friend.                  

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Stick in there, I planned a road trip for Lynelle’s 40th - this included ferry crossing from Skye. When we went on the ferry the ticket guy looked at my Reg & said Mr **** welcome on board - to which she replied, even he knows about this ???

Fast forward a few years - I got wind Lynelle was planning a surprise 50th for me ? in the space of a few days I contracted the band with a request, ordered a Ring & got up on stage & sang “Bruno Mars” marry me ? anyone that is friends with me on FB (& are more IT savy than me) can post it for a laugh. Fill yer boots lad & all the best for the future ? This was planned without even my family knowing 

Edited by Tam
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I would love to help with some suggestions BUT after 48yrs  of marriage(2 of:1st complete carp,2nd excellent) I have learn't nothing about how women view their men.My best take is they either like you or they don't and whatever you do or don't do has little influence on their opinion.Fortunately I have had more success with dogs.

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Thanks for the advice gents. I would like to keep her as she is a bit of a novelty here in Lincolnshire, I can introduce her as my wife and she is not even my cousin or my sister. 

3 minutes ago, Smokersmith said:

I went pheasant shooting to Scotland with my Dad on my wife's 40th .... no problems there

I went pigeon shooting on our wedding anniversary the year before last. We were meant to be meeting up for dinner at my parents but the birds were coming in lovely on some peas and caused me to be an hour or 2 late. She has not forgotten this.

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14 hours ago, ditchman said:

womins brain's are wired the wrong way round..........................

 

tell her you are having and affair......then she will smack you round the face...and tell you are a lying weasle you are covering up decoying with JDog..

As someone put on here recently regarding women, 'whoever designed the bodywork deserves a medal; whoever did the wiring want's shooting'.

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52 minutes ago, Penelope said:

As someone put on here recently regarding women, 'whoever designed the bodywork deserves a medal; whoever did the wiring want's shooting'.

:lol:yeah...........i remember that post............quite clever..

i heard a reply to that from a woman talking to her mate ...when she said   "if its got wheels or testicles ...you just know its going to be trouble "

 

they have us weighed up as well..:lol:

Edited by ditchman
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