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Horse riding and testicles


Wb123
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I had 2 paramedics wetting themselves when I broke my leg. I was lucid, in pain but not screaming and shouting and could tell them the full extent of my injury because I’d tried standing on it but I was desperate for them not to cut my boot off - they’re too bloody expensive to cut off! We agreed they’d unzip it and take it off as long as I didn’t scream obviously with them not realising quite how high my pain threshold is. I just sat there and looked the bloke in the eye and smiled at him as he took my boot off. It hurt ALOT! But I got my boot back in one piece.

Kennet how shocked were you the first time you cut off a pair of jockeys breeches to discover we wear ladies tights underneath ? 

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25 minutes ago, Benthejockey said:

I had 2 paramedics wetting themselves when I broke my leg. I was lucid, in pain but not screaming and shouting and could tell them the full extent of my injury because I’d tried standing on it but I was desperate for them not to cut my boot off - they’re too bloody expensive to cut off! We agreed they’d unzip it and take it off as long as I didn’t scream obviously with them not realising quite how high my pain threshold is. I just sat there and looked the bloke in the eye and smiled at him as he took my boot off. It hurt ALOT! But I got my boot back in one piece.

Kennet how shocked were you the first time you cut off a pair of jockeys breeches to discover we wear ladies tights underneath ? 

We have had some hilarious Jockeys on various drugs, we have penthrox now which is fairly strong, with good results! We usually use cutting boots off as a good pain indicator, if they say "just do it" it probably quite hurts, if they refuse, it can't hurt that much! 

My top tip, don't get too close to the horse in front, we have had 2 very, very badly broken legs from the horse in front kicking out! 

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My top tip is avoid horses in general! The front bit bites, the back bit kicks and the the bit in the middle is wiggly! My second top tip is don’t get injured near Leicester the Leicester Royal Infirmary is not a nice place to spend a week!

To be fair to the horse it was the blokes foot and stirrup colliding with the back of my calf that snapped my leg. It felt like someone hit my leg with a sledge hammer. I ended up with a displaced spiral fracture of my tibia and a displaced fractured fibular. I had a laugh with the paramedics not so much with the on call registra and the plaster nurse who decided to realign my fracture they’d both try different things at the same time and argue about it. That made me yelp!

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Yep that about sums them up! That sounds fairly similar to out last one, although hers was an open fracture, just for the added excitement. Paramedics took ages very carefully peeling her boot off, only to be  told it was the wrong one. The fact I had cut the other one in half and it had a hoof print target on it wasn't enough of a clue :no: Pelvic fractures are another popular one when the horse rears itself over backwards

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I think I’ve actually seen a snapchat of the girl you’re talking about lying there waiting for the ambulance ?

within the space of a fortnight me being back at work we had a girl have a soft fall, land funnily and snap her leg. I had to help get her boot off. That was unpleasant! With her leg articulating in a bit that’s not supposed to move. I’m not squeamish at the least but that made me hold my breath! And then the following week we were team chasing and the lead horse hit a fence and played football with the bloke on top. He’d turned his pelvis into a jigsaw and ripped all the tendons and ligaments in his shoulder. He’s 5 months into an 18month recovery. 

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Haha probably, I think they both put it on snapchat ? The vast majority of our worst injuries are at a stop or walking. The ones that come off while doing a bit of work tend to bounce and roll and we just have to chase the loose one about. (famous last words)

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I definitely saw it then! Sounded nasty but she was still smiling for snapchat ?? I had one trip hacking down the gallop and fire me out of the front a few weeks back. Halfway through my barrel roll out of the way I saw him with his whole face buried in the sand and I had a proper oh **** moment when I thought he was going to pivot off his head and land on me. I rolled even faster out the way. The lad I was with was ******* himself laughing. I was spitting sand for the rest of the day. Filled me full of confidence to school him up the hurdles the next day ??

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On 28 February 2018 at 16:55, Wb123 said:

I have taken a new horse on loan after a lengthy gap in my riding career. Usually a couple of pairs of very tight lycra underpants to keep things up and to each side have sufficed in the past but something in either the design of the saddle or the gait of this horse has produced a few ******* crushing incidents I dont want to repeat.

 

Changing the saddle is out due to the terms of the loan, I will try a sheepskin seat cover but does anyone have any other suggestions short of learning the old amazonian retraction trick?

Since getting married, and the wife keeping them in a jar by her side of the bed, I've not had any testicular trouble whatsoever, be it horse related or otherwise.

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5 minutes ago, Jonty said:

Since getting married, and the wife keeping them in a jar by her side of the bed, I've not had any testicular trouble whatsoever, be it horse related or otherwise.

do you keep your teeth in the same jar.?

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A quick update on my danglers for everyone.

 

This horse seems to be more of an afternoon than evening fellow. Took him out over lunch, within ten minutes of arriving at his stable he had tried to kick me once and had two goes at biting my other half. He was however slightly more enthusiastic about behaving once in the saddle. Twenty minutes working on transitions and trying not to use the stick had him waking up for some canter work. Until we cantered he was much better with his head and only one minor glancing squeeze of Mr Righty complicated matters, given I was in a rush and wearing breifs rather than my usual two pairs of extra tight get them back inside lycra mix undercrackers this was a remarkable performance. 

 

The sheepskin nut saver has yet to arrive, but is supposedly in the post. 

 

 

On 4 March 2018 at 04:03, Mice! said:

Do you not wear cycling style shorts when spending a few hours in the saddle? I know going out on the road bike without them ain't comfy.

I do when cycling, horse saddles I find quite comfortable under the backside, the trouble is the bit at the front smacking the plums as there is a lot more going in and out of a saddle compared to cycling.

 

I have only ever sat on myself once when cycling that was on a very hot summers day riding in very loose swimming trunks only. 

Edited by Wb123
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On 5 March 2018 at 16:58, salop sniper said:

Never had this Issue with our Kent and Masters or our FCS Saddles.

Although I do recommend the Under Armour tight fitting Boxerjock 23cm, good support, no chafing or squashing injuries either. Make sure you adjust once settled in the saddle too. 

Out of interest what size saddle do you use? This thing is a 17 inch which feels awkwardly small. I was getting on much better tonight until i realised i had shuffled it to the left so my danglers were both going forward and right of the pommel.

 

Our Kent and Masters is a 17.5 and I dont hugely like it, the keiffer is also a 17.5 but more testicle friendly. I just found a sizing guide that reckoned for my leg an 18 or 19 would be more appropriate (and also for the better half fortunately).

 

At what temperature and state of interest as it were do I measure for these boxerjock things? Or do you need one for each season...

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15 hours ago, Wb123 said:

Out of interest what size saddle do you use? This thing is a 17 inch which feels awkwardly small. I was getting on much better tonight until i realised i had shuffled it to the left so my danglers were both going forward and right of the pommel.

 

Our Kent and Masters is a 17.5 and I dont hugely like it, the keiffer is also a 17.5 but more testicle friendly. I just found a sizing guide that reckoned for my leg an 18 or 19 would be more appropriate (and also for the better half fortunately).

 

At what temperature and state of interest as it were do I measure for these boxerjock things? Or do you need one for each season...

17.5 too, in al fairness its to small for me but its the wife who mostly uses it and she`s a far smaller frame than me ! but It could easily be done ( damaging the twins) in the smaller saddle !

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