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The week from hell.


Lord Geordie
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Just need to get some weight off my shoulders. Forgive the drivel.

 

i got a phone call on Friday from my Sister. Apparently my Mum has been rushed to hospital having difficulty breathing. The ensuing panic lead to her having a heart attack also. Then I was told this happened on THURSDAY? But not one member of my family tell me? Yet I am the one taking them shopping every week, doing the gardening and odd jobs needed around the house. The rest of them lead their own lives calling in once a fortnight or less? 

Then of course Chris is also due in hospital on Tuesday for another assessment on his heart, and Dad has to go for a consultation on his hip replacement in the next week too. I have pretty much gave up my own life at the moment to help out as much as I can. I used to call in on a friend pretty much each Tuesday but then having to care for mum and dad has put a rather long stop on that! The rest of the family have partners to go home to and chat with about the day! Me I have to go home, close the door and just cope. 

I am not depressed! Just upset that they think I can be sidelined? I rang dad asking if he needs anything while he is on his own! He is as stubborn as I am so I will pop in on Tuesday to make sure. 

I rang mum to see how she was doing, and visited her on Friday. Work takes up 12-8 yesterday and 12-8 today then 7am - 8pm tomorrow. So I can't even get in to see mum until Tuesday night again. 

I am just thankful that she got the correct care and treatment early enough to save her. The NHS done a sterling job which I heartily thank them for. 

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Your doing brilliant L/G ,families suck ,when dad got cancer every day for 12 weeks took mum to see him before he passed.Mum spent years listening to my older sister say she would have mum and look after her when dad died.Huh really , i arranged the funeral ,death certs etc ,sold their house so mum had money and she now lives 1/2 a mile away in sheltered housing the wife and i sorted.

We do her shopping and when shifts allow take her out,book her holidays and trips out and are there when she is ill or needs help.My brother and his doesnt work wife live 3 miles away and if she sees them once in six months its a rare event .Sounds like your family are like mine full of promise but leave it to muggins.Your not alone in your situation and as you say it makes you so angry that its down to you all the time but your not in the family loop when it suits them .Good luck will return what goes around comes around and im sure your mum n dad appreciate you far more than your relatives atb

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hello, i know what you mean with families, i looked after my mother for 5 years who lived 2 hours drive yet my 3 sister lived close, the last 2 years i stopped working to commute and near full time care the last year i stayed there , when mum went into hospital they argued with me on a full time care home , i said if you do not get mum out of hospital that would be it, i found a nice care home by the sea a very short walk and bedroom views,its what mum wanted, but the 3 sisters would not agree, so hence that is what happened, mum would have had that extra time, i did every thing for the funeral, i made contact with 4th sister living in Turkey yet she never came, i have not spoken to any of my sisters from that  day   

Edited by oldypigeonpopper
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Unfortunately we can choose our friends but not our relatives. My ex’s sisters are simply poison and I’m pleased I’m more or less out of it. My only concern is that the resentment and spite may affect my kids. Fortunately my daughter is away at uni’, soon to be followed by my son.

Tgeres not a lot I can say as you’re stuck with family, but you always seem to draw the short straw LG. I sincerely hope it’s all resolved shortly. Chin up. 

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My ex’s mum tried to stab me . She’s dying soon through illness . Her livers and lungs  have packed up and I’ll drink to her death . 

Sounds horrible I know but she’s evil and abusive.  60 fags a day and 38 units has taken its tole at 55 years old. 

 

I havent any siblings anymore after after she passed away but I know we were close .

my partner hasn’t any either so my 2 youngest children have no uncles,aunties , cousins etc it’s weird. 

Oh and my boy is 2 weeks old :) 

 

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I know the feeling family's are hassle mines exactly the same I do all the manual labour and the rest give lol service. Chin up lad it all comes together in the end just do what you can when you can and as much as you want. At least your conscience will be clear. All the best.

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It's shocking that they didn't ring you, but at least your mum got looked after which is the main thing.

You know you've been doing your bit and then some.

like has been said above the hospital should let you visit outside of normal hours just turn up and have a word, i wouldn't phone they'll be too busy to answer probably.

you can't choose your family, just your friends.

3 hours ago, team tractor said:

Oh and my boy is 2 weeks old :) 

congratulations Nath, hope your misses and boy are doing well ( and your fingers)

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38 minutes ago, Mice! said:

It's shocking that they didn't ring you, but at least your mum got looked after which is the main thing.

You know you've been doing your bit and then some.

like has been said above the hospital should let you visit outside of normal hours just turn up and have a word, i wouldn't phone they'll be too busy to answer probably.

you can't choose your family, just your friends.

congratulations Nath, hope your misses and boy are doing well ( and your fingers)

Thank you mate

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Sorry to hear of your troubles; Illnesses can bring out both the best and the worst on families.  Both my parents are gone, mother died about 23 years ago, father 10 years ago.  Strangely, now there is just me and one sister, we are niow closer than we have ever been. 

I am (in many ways) closer to my one UK cousin than my sister.  All of my other cousins live in Australia, and whilst I have met almost all, we are not close at all.

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2 minutes ago, Lord Geordie said:

Fab matey :good: they grow up so blooming quick! 

I bought my terrios a few weeks back and my oldest asked if I can keep it for her. It’s only 5 years and it’ll soon come round.

booking my wedding this week :) . 

Your always welcome at the yard if your passing remember. Just remember we’ve moved 1/4 mile

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6 hours ago, 100milesaway said:

Sometimes the hospitals will let you visit outside visiting times if you work shifts etc. they wont tell you that but ask , it may help you. Don't worry, mates are better than families sometimes. from Auntie.

 

yeah  Auntie is right I'm sure if you ask at the hospital they will let you visit you mum L.G out of hours, they did with my mum and like Auntie says freinds can be better then families some time. sorry to hear about mum hope all works out ok

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18 hours ago, team tractor said:

I bought my terrios a few weeks back and my oldest asked if I can keep it for her. It’s only 5 years and it’ll soon come round.

booking my wedding this week :) . 

Your always welcome at the yard if your passing remember. Just remember we’ve moved 1/4 mile

But your not telling me the address :lol: 

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Been in to see Mum a few times now! I was there for a few hours last night! She is in a bit of a state. Her feet are like balloons, and she is stuck thin. the first course of anti biotics have not cleared the chest yet, she struggles with breath, her arms and legs are purple due to lack of oxygen. It's putting a lot of strain on her heart! It's awful to see her like that. She is also covered in bruises as she now bruises very easily. Her waist, arms, wrists are covered. She has one on her face where she fell asleep wearing her glasses too. I am trying to keep my hands busy to fill the day, and occupy the mind. I am at work again later today so can't get in to see her again until tomorrow! 

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We took Complan in for Father in Law after he had a stroke at 91 and wasn't eating well and losing weight. He had the chocolate and strawberry as milk shakes and we mixed the plain in his meals. Got the hospital staff using it too. We also took soups in a flask in for him and Aldi cream yogurts which are high in calories.

He is home and living with Brother in Law now.

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