pretentious made up names

[wascal]

Why do management  think we are impressed by made up psycho babble department titles ?

I've just had to take the missus to the " Re-Enablement service Centre" for a check up

*** does  Re-Enablement mean ?

It seemed to me that all they did was check her wheelchair tyres were pumped up .

20 years ago It used to be called  "ALAC" - artificial limbs and accessories centre , wheelchairs , walking frames , prosthetics etc 

Why can't the dept title actually tell you what they do ?

 

 

[bruno22rf]

You should mention it to their perceived expectations sector - or customer services as it used to be called.

[clakk]

On restructuring i went from a process trained injection moulding technician to a tool swinger , now i  find that outrageous ive never swung my tool in public as the Police can swear .My Mother used to live in sheltered housing but now lives in a specialist community ,no new extras,apart from costs and  and increased rent but it,s no longer sheltered .Modern peeps spend their days thinking up titles to justify their sad existence 

[team tractor]

I’m a medium density fibre engineer  

i cut mdf up  

I’m called a

chippy

wood butcher

joiner

Carpenter 

 

[Deker]

Sometimes these names are made up so they sound like a promotion and are offered instead of a pay rise, I once worked with a guy who was more concerned about the job title than the salary

[ditchman]

Hygene operative..........................= bog cleaner

[grrclark]

Re-enablement is a positive title and so is seen as not being pejorative to the persons disability, or lack of enablement. So going to a re-enablement centre is positive affirming and those re-inflated tyres were filled with inclusive and positive affirming air.

Same as the term bisexual is now too binary, before when there were only men and women it was ok to be bisexual, but now in our enlightened and educated times a binary label is perceived as being discriminatory as it does not recognise the choice that someone has to be sexually attracted to men, women, trans gender, trans sexual, asexuals, androgynous, gender fluid (for those times when you just cannot decide what you want to be, one day you're a man, the next a woman and on a Wednesday sometimes you're androgynous or maybe even asexual if you're just not feeling it at all), hence enlightened and inclusive people now identify as being pansexual.  

To be clear Pansexual is not having lusty thoughts for JM Barrie's eponymous hero, that would be fictophillia or more accurately hebefictophillia as master Pan was an adolescent whilst also being make believe, but I digress.

[ratass]

ferrous and non ferrous metal fusion technician.

jon

[Winston72]

Its the McDonalds principal give somebody a fancy title pay them a schilling an hour more with a badge to wear and they'll work their little sock off

[walshie]

Wet leisure attendant - Lifeguard.

Media distribution officer - Paper boy. 

[clakk]

Important wood pulp management technician ,bog roll replacer in the curry house toilet 

[SpringDon]

Botanical Festive Symbol Technician.

[keg]

2 hours ago, ratass said:

ferrous and non ferrous metal fusion technician.

jon

Welder? Still a skilled and hard job in all seriousness.

I'm a Focused Taurus Excretus  expert.

[kernel gadaffi]

Al-fresco Lager Technician.

 

Drunk/tramp/vagrant.

Not me, but I know plenty.

 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjJo6D9--vaAhVJKMAKHUMzCWEQtwIILDAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dtl4VD8uvgec&usg=AOvVaw0i-m5DvIvBG_C_7VCwCqyA

[walshie]

1 hour ago, SpringDon said:

Botanical Festive Symbol Technician.

Xmas tree seller?

[haynes]

When buying a new tv I had to go to the order fulfilment centre. 

Warehouse.........

[guzzicat]

Self employed metal salvage consultant.

[ratass]

2 hours ago, keg said:

Welder? Still a skilled and hard job in all seriousness.especially with a broken wrist and thumb

I'm a Focused Taurus Excretus  expert.

dung spreader  

[The Mighty Prawn]

12 hours ago, team tractor said:

I’m a medium density fibre engineer  

i cut mdf up  

I’m called a

chippy

wood butcher

joiner

Carpenter 

 

I've heard you called a lot of things that aren't on your list!?

Working for Auntie I see some amazing titles, three word lottery we call it - pick any three words and that's your job. Recently an advert was posted for a 'creative head of content' and one for 'creative content head' same words in a different order and one paid three times the other!

[team tractor]

40 minutes ago, The Mighty Prawn said:

I've heard you called a lot of things that aren't on your list!?

Working for Auntie I see some amazing titles, three word lottery we call it - pick any three words and that's your job. Recently an advert was posted for a 'creative head of content' and one for 'creative content head' same words in a different order and one paid three times the other!

Got you some pics of that stuff  

[fatchap]

visual technician----window cleaner

Material logistics supervisor-----storeman

 

 

[guzzicat]

Road surface compaction engineer

[SpringDon]

23 hours ago, walshie said:

Xmas tree seller?

Of course. I had to invent a title quickly when someone asked what the job was called.

[The Mighty Prawn]

20 hours ago, team tractor said:

Got you some pics of that stuff  

Nice one, just in case anyone thinks this sounds dodgy I've asked him to help me with my wood... Oh no that sounds worse...

[Lloyd90]

See it in the council all the time, to sold the problems and the inefficiency it would cost so much it would bankrupt the whole country, so instead some consultant on £100k+ a year just changes the names of all the teams and assessments and they carry on as usual!