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Ditchman and God


ditchman
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Well.............we have had a busy 10 days...nearly 2 weeks ago god and me had a little chat....sort of went like this..

"hi there ditchman ...hows it hangin ?"..says god

"yeah..... not too bad...bit of a struggle,...mustnt grumble tho' "..............."look " says god..."ive been reading your threads on pigeonwatch...and you have too many running...quite simply your mind is making appointments , that you body cant keep "................"yes " says i.........."how are we going to sort this then...cause i cant let people down"

"weelll says god " (scratching his long white beard)........"ive got and idea"...........................

"goes like this.........................."normally i give people like you a lot of deseases over a period of a few years...it allows them to gently get used to the idea of mortality...puts them in the frame of mind of getting used to the idea of "standing outside gods waiting room"....

"ok" says i ....."whats the catch" ?

"weeelllll.....my idea is...so as to keep the grim reaper happy and so he can have a good larf.........im going to give you alll these deseases in 10 days....(bearing in mind it only took 7 days to make the world)...miricles are easily performed...but the impossible generally takes a bit longer"

so folks........thats what he did...

  1. beginning of last week diagnosed with celiac's desease
  2. followed by trip to hostipital (mild heart problem...ecg and all that stuff)...loads of pills an' stuff
  3. then blood pressure gone stupid...pills for that.(to relax the arteries)
  4. blood tests
  5. piddle tests
  6. BIG CHOLESTROL PROBLEM........statins for that and continue gluten diet
  7. then diagnosed with anemia
  8. then finally diagnosed with diabetes

 

ALL IN THE SPACE OF 10 DAYS...!!!

so im going to take it easy for a while..........the funny thing is i am starting to feel soooo much better...got an app' with the docs to see the diabetes nurse on friday regards the management of it...and the main thing is my willy is fine...and my Doctor....Doctor Anna..(she is german and HOT ...very touchy feely)....was responsible for my high blood pressure...she has an AWSOME  rear end...................but i digress now..........

i will continue to complete the threads... but in fits and starts

 

 

"BETTER TO BURN OUT ..THAN FADE AWAY"

 

 

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20 minutes ago, ditchman said:

i didnt have any toys ..as a boy ...thats all i had !

Careful then.....................I woke up blind in one eye due to detached retina  !  Now sorted, thankfully. My old man once said to me, many years ago, "You will go blind if you don't stop that" ,  seems he was half right anyhow  !  Chin up mate and keep hangin in there.  Best wishes, W.

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52 minutes ago, ditchman said:

Well.............we have had a busy 10 days...nearly 2 weeks ago god and me had a little chat....sort of went like this..

"hi there ditchman ...hows it hangin ?"..says god

"yeah..... not too bad...bit of a struggle,...mustnt grumble tho' "..............."look " says god..."ive been reading your threads on pigeonwatch...and you have too many running...quite simply your mind is making appointments , that you body cant keep "................"yes " says i.........."how are we going to sort this then...cause i cant let people down"

"weelll says god " (scratching his long white beard)........"ive got and idea"...........................

"goes like this.........................."normally i give people like you a lot of deseases over a period of a few years...it allows them to gently get used to the idea of mortality...puts them in the frame of mind of getting used to the idea of "standing outside gods waiting room"....

"ok" says i ....."whats the catch" ?

"weeelllll.....my idea is...so as to keep the grim reaper happy and so he can have a good larf.........im going to give you alll these deseases in 10 days....(bearing in mind it only took 7 days to make the world)...miricles are easily performed...but the impossible generally takes a bit longer"

so folks........thats what he did...

  1. beginning of last week diagnosed with celiac's desease
  2. followed by trip to hostipital (mild heart problem...ecg and all that stuff)...loads of pills an' stuff
  3. then blood pressure gone stupid...pills for that.(to relax the arteries)
  4. blood tests
  5. piddle tests
  6. BIG CHOLESTROL PROBLEM........statins for that and continue gluten diet
  7. then diagnosed with anemia
  8. then finally diagnosed with diabetes

 

ALL IN THE SPACE OF 10 DAYS...!!!

so im going to take it easy for a while..........the funny thing is i am starting to feel soooo much better...got an app' with the docs to see the diabetes nurse on friday regards the management of it...and the main thing is my willy is fine...and my Doctor....Doctor Anna..(she is german and HOT ...very touchy feely)....was responsible for my high blood pressure...she has an AWSOME  rear end...................but i digress now..........

i will continue to complete the threads... but in fits and starts

 

 

"BETTER TO BURN OUT ..THAN FADE AWAY"

 

 

There can be only one " Ditchman" . Hope it gets better for you sir.

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Always look on the bright side, I have said this very seriously to myself in the past. Its lucky you are not a horse...…….

Actually, you are lucky you are not an American

people think I'm being flippant but I'm not at all. The treatment we get here is amazing compared to anywhere else. 

Edited by Vince Green
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4 minutes ago, amateur said:

Don't want to worry you, but erectile disfunction and diabetes are linked, so get your blood sugar under control asap

A lolly stick and two rubber bands will sort that that out. He's very practical

Edited by Vince Green
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45 minutes ago, Medic1281 said:

Sounds like they all go hand in hand. Sort out your diet and the rest will sort itself out. Best of luck with it all. 

I think you could be right there..........."99 times, change hands, don't care if I do go blind"    !     :lol:

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1 hour ago, Medic1281 said:

Sounds like they all go hand in hand. Sort out your diet and the rest will sort itself out. Best of luck with it all. 

you are not far wrong there...the reason i am feeling so much better is because of the strict diet i have imposed on myself...so hopefully as you say it will go  some way to sorting it all out..:good:

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1 hour ago, Westley said:

I think you could be right there..........."99 times, change hands, don't care if I do go blind"    !     :lol:

never get as far as 99...........changing hands...is that what "ambidicstrous" means.:hmm:

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1 hour ago, amateur said:

Don't want to worry you, but erectile disfunction and diabetes are linked, so get your blood sugar under control asap

have a pal with diabetes, gets his viagra on the nhs, should add a qualifier to that as not seen him for a couple of years as don't shoot there anymore, so it might not apply now.

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56 minutes ago, team tractor said:

This year as you know I’ve had my fingers sown back together and also had my appointment come through today for my vasectomy and I can get it for free now again  

Obviously it’s not my ticker or blood so I’m great full for that.

 

 

hope you get sorted  

thank god for that....at least you can "milk the lizard"....again.....................

every cloud has a silver lining eh...........:lol:

Edited by ditchman
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