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Falopian tubes for the Rapier SAM system, the nig would first be sent to REME who would then send them to the QM (Tech) who would then send them to the med centre, who would send them to the servicing bay who would send them back to the hangar where they would be ####ed for not getting the part, then they were let in on the wind up!

In NI we sent a lad off to pull through the pipe range with an old mattress and a rope!

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Many moons ago I worked in a sawmills, and i had a roller of ink in which I coded different grades of wood. Anyway one guy there who couldn't take a joke, (there's always one somewhere you work, a right miserable sod) was getting interviewed for a radio advert, so made himself up right smart. Little did he know, I'd coated his ear defenders in the black ink a hour before hand and left to dry. As he sweated away it melted the dried ink and gave him some lovely black rings either side. He did the interview, much to everyone's amusement, and went about the whole day like it. Needless to say we had a verbal warning from the boss, even tho he was ******* himself as well. He had red ears for days where he had been scrubbing it off at home. We all got caught out in the end. 

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When we worked in small teams with a central office we used to regularly get the main control to fax us over some paper as we had run out. 

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In the clean room, we will regularly mess with each others toolboxes. It's common to come back from lunch and find it covered in masking tape, or empty with all your tools laid out on your bench, or padlocked with someone else's lock.

We also have fun with the vaccum lines, and if anything is left lying around that shouldn't be, it's often to be found vac'd down, items including a cycle helmet, shoes and someones lunch have had the 15psi treatment. 

Not long after I started, I got in one morning to find the job I had been working on had been put in a vat of water and placed into the industrial freezer (-40) overnight to freeze into a solid block of ice. Had to go into the oven for a few hours to defrost. Hilarious. 

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Building site strength test

show apprentice you can lift a bag of plaster over your head

he tries and you slit bag with a knife when it's over his head

 

funnel,down front of apprentices pants

coin on head,,,try to get coin in funnel. Pour pint of water down funnel

 

take blade out of apprentice hacksaw and turn blade around

 

loads more when I can remember them

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We use insulation tape to secure bandages on the gallopers it's more preferable than turning a somersault with a loose bandage wrapping round their legs. One of the girls had been moaning all morning about something or other so we taped her saddle, bridle, hat and boots to her peg with insulation tape. 

Another girl got tied to her peg with the plastic girth sleeves one her birthday.

My car keys got put on the Walker roof after riding this morning, so once the culprit was caught his tack got put in the front of the muck trailer, his boots on the roof of the tractor and his hat on the top of the Walker. My stuff is off limits so if it happens again the young lad will be recovering his tack off the roof of our brick stables which are very high!

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Left school (58 yrs ago) and was a stock control clerk for Joseph Lucas. They got me with an incoming call for short circuit for a Morris Minor and a note on my desk to ring Mr G Raff  tel No......it was Bristol Zoo.

some years back I pranked the head of services who loved technological gadgets to demonstrate his skills. One particular presentation I got there before him and put a piece of black insulation tape over the the transmitter dot on the remote control. Nothing worked. He changed batteries, plugged and unplugged units. I offered to help. Discretely removed the tape. All worked and I was flavour for the day until someone tipped him off. In fairness he did see the funny side of it.

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A particular gobs#### I’m acquainted with is a great fan on winding people up, not so much of a fan getting wound up. Last week I pulled the M and the N off his keyboard and swapped them around ( no one notices that ) then watched him graduate into an incandescent rage trying to work out why he couldn’t log on and was locked out of his account culminating in him stomping off out of the office to the IT section for a row. He came back about 45 mins later looking sheepish and muttering fu##### ba###### under his breath and changed his keys around.

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convincing new recruits the best way to 'form' your beret was to soak in hot water, adjust on head and then apply packing tape around head and under chin.

then sleep for the night with it taped on.

 

f.

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Once asked a guy to pop into the parts place next door for a rad cap for my V/W air cooled camper van, of he popped 15 mins later went to find him only to find the parts place looking through the manuals for one

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Posted (edited)

in my younger days apprentices were sent to the local merchants for a glass tapping hammer /striped paint / lawn paint green on top dirt underside/ sky hooks /bubble for a level/ left handed chisel and many other tools, inc  rule / skirting ladder / a 3/4" half debt hole /  and the best a long stand and when they came back send them for a (what not) which they refused to go for so you whooped them with a 6mm dowel rod then get said plant pot shelves from stores for finishing and whoop them again , on site as apprentice to look up conduit for wires coming down while another has a bucket of water and funnel ready for eye wash /  once asked site agent which side a door was hinged as no light switch and nothing on drawings so he hang it from the ******* top so I did, imagine the look on his face / gravel in hub caps back in the day/ a guy on site bought a new Skoda so for two weeks we put a gallon of fuel in every night told everyone how good it was then for two weeks took a gallon out every night the poor dealer was suicidal  and I have to admit as an apprentice got caught by a few soon wised up,     had a bloke burn his laces off his work boots with an angle grinder so suggested no laces available so use some steel fixing wire 👍 couldn't get boots off at home no tools😂 put some maggots in the air vents blowflies every where 

Edited by Saltings

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On ‎03‎/‎05‎/‎2019 at 16:36, strimmer_13 said:

Many moons ago I worked in a sawmills, and i had a roller of ink in which I coded different grades of wood. Anyway one guy there who couldn't take a joke, (there's always one somewhere you work, a right miserable sod) was getting interviewed for a radio advert, so made himself up right smart. Little did he know, I'd coated his ear defenders in the black ink a hour before hand and left to dry. As he sweated away it melted the dried ink and gave him some lovely black rings either side. He did the interview, much to everyone's amusement, and went about the whole day like it. Needless to say we had a verbal warning from the boss, even tho he was ******* himself as well. He had red ears for days where he had been scrubbing it off at home. We all got caught out in the end. 

Sounds like engineers blue! That stuff gets everywhere, handles, safety glasses, ear defenders and if it gets on your fingers and you haven't noticed it doesn't take long before your covered in it!!

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We blacked up an apprentices 'nads'.   And told him best way to remove it was turps and Cosy Wrap.

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