fatchap Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 (edited) The wife has gone to her sisters for the weekend,. Woke up this morning and all the coffee has gone and there is only one toilet roll left and theres not much on it. Seriously should I be prepared for other items to run out such as the bread, theres only a few slices left, normally another loaf appears before the other one is gone. Same with the coffee when the jar gets low another new jar appears, But its not happening and I'm starting to panic, no coffee is code Red, Should I wait in the hope that a new jar of coffee appears along with toilet rolls and bread? Add toothpaste to the list of things that have stopped being replaced. What the hell is going on here??? Edited June 1, 2019 by fatchap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyefor Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 Have you checked her wardrobe...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
washerboy Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 Easily solved visit a married friend his house will be fully stocked and when his wife finds out your left alone she is obliged to feed you a hearty meal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pigeon Shredder. Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 Go to Weathspoons, breakfast, coffee, tv, lunch, toilets, evening meal + beer. Get toothpaste at the Poundshop as you make your way to Weatherspoons. Sorted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatchap Posted June 1, 2019 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 3 minutes ago, Pigeon Shredder. said: Go to Weathspoons, breakfast, coffee, tv, lunch, toilets, evening meal + beer. Get toothpaste at the Poundshop as you make your way to Weatherspoons. Sorted. Now that sounds like a plan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diver One Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 Exactly the opposite in our house Present wife has Domestophobia strangely cleaning and feeding is not an issue when it comes to her horse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mice! Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 18 minutes ago, Pigeon Shredder. said: Go to Weathspoons, breakfast, coffee, tv, lunch, toilets, evening meal + beer. Get toothpaste at the Poundshop as you make your way to Weatherspoons. Sorted. Not sure i could spend the day at Weatherspoon's it would be like a social experiment watching the different stages during the day. I was going to suggest a travel lodge. bit of humour on the weekend 👏👏 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 1 minute ago, Mice! said: Not sure i could spend the day at Weatherspoon's it would be like a social experiment watching the different stages during the day. I was going to suggest a travel lodge. bit of humour on the weekend 👏👏 Yeah, I’d have to agree with this; it would be like watching the evolution of mankind, but in no particular order.🙂 OP needs to get online and order crisps and pot noodles. Sorted. 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 I'm with mice ,just go to a travelodge for the weekend, send your wife the bill as this desperate situation is quite clearly all her fault😆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave at kelton Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 Line up a solicitor and a housekeeper in that order😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hodge911 Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 send me an offer of a shoot outing and a shopping list and I,ll collect everything and deliver then we can go out shooting jobs a goodun 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benthejockey Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 Leave her a really bad trip advisor review on Monday morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 Have you sacked the butler maid and cook on the same day ?☹️ for heavens sake send the chauffeur to get all this stuff 🙄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figgy Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 2 hours ago, Diver One said: Exactly the opposite in our house Present wife has Domestophobia strangely cleaning and feeding is not an issue when it comes to her horse That should read soon to be ex Mrs diver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 sub-contract some bird who is willing in............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figgy Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 Put an ad on Facebook or whatever social media asking for a new wife as the current one has left you to fend for yourself. Make sure to send your Mrs it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 you could engage a brief.........and see her in court for mental and physical cruelty............. that is simply awful what she has done to you....unforgiverble...............what happened to the marrige vows "honour and obey".......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Best Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 7 minutes ago, ditchman said: sub-contract some bird who is willing in............ Fifty years ago I would have looked in my little red book of bird’s phone numbers........but I may be struggling these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 Or is there something you’re not telling us ????? Maybe there’s a reason for the appalling behaviour have you checked with the alleged sister? Has her tennis coach disappeared for the weekend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 23 minutes ago, Old farrier said: Or is there something you’re not telling us ????? Maybe there’s a reason for the appalling behaviour have you checked with the alleged sister? Has her tennis coach disappeared for the weekend? proberly having a 3-some with you best mate....and she is using your credit card... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatchap Posted June 1, 2019 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 5 minutes ago, ditchman said: proberly having a 3-some with you best mate....and she is using your credit card... A 3 some? now thats funny there goes me beer over the keyboard. My wife takes the upstairs fuses out for the lights before she gets into bed. But the thought of her unsupervised with a credit card.................terrifying! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team tractor Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 2 minutes ago, fatchap said: A 3 some? now thats funny there goes me beer over the keyboard. My wife takes the upstairs fuses out for the lights before she gets into bed. But the thought of her unsupervised with a credit card.................terrifying! Not knowing you or your wife is it she’s big and burns her bum on the light bulb or just not confident 1 hour ago, Benthejockey said: Leave her a really bad trip advisor review on Monday morning. Best one 😂😂😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team tractor Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 (edited) My wife is at work but she said I’ve stocked the fridge with porkpie and sandwich fillings , lots of tea and milk and toilet paper 😂. bad point::: she’s out 9-6 and I’ve been left with 4 kids between 1 and 13 years old. I’ve already had migraine tablets and I’m pulling my hair out. ive reloaded all I need for a year, done the washing and pegged out, kids have the tv . I’m lost 😂 Edited June 1, 2019 by team tractor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figgy Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 (edited) No no Team Tractor this is a manly man's forum and your giving up your manly man card and talking like mums net. Only after many years of devoted service are men allowed to take over the caring role. Now give the kids lots of sweeties and let them run amok. Your dearly beloved will be loath to leave them alone with you in future. Isn't pegging out some sort of bedroom action for the confused. Also the washing is that bullet cases ready for tumbling. Edited June 1, 2019 by figgy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted June 1, 2019 Report Share Posted June 1, 2019 1 minute ago, figgy said: No no Team Tractor this issue manly man's forum and your giving up your manly man card and talking like mums net. Now give the kids lots of sweeties and let them run amok. Your dearly beloved will be loath to leave them alone with you in future. Isn't pegging out some sort of bedroom action for the confused. Also the washing is that bullet cases ready for tumbling. Exactly...well said Figgy................men have been fighting to be men for thousands of years...and we havnt got where we are today...throught the thoughtless actions of someone who has got intouch with their femine side...you will shoving tampons up yer bottom next.......dearo dearo dear............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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