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Broken.


Lord Geordie
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The event I have dreaded for years has finally happened. Having spent over 10 hours in hospital by her side, at 23:55 the woman who brought me into this world, has finally left mine. 😞 she fought with COPD and a weak heart for years, but finally today her heart could not cope any longer. Surrounded with love she peacefully slipped away. Poor dad was asleep at home having spent the day there with me. Not only visiting mum, but complaining of chest pain. After xrays they have found a shadow in his lung. They think it may be the big C but he needs to go back for them to do more tests. I had to drive down and wake him at midnight and hug him as I told him his wife of over 50 years had gone before him.

It broke my heart to have to leave her to the hospital staff after they confirmed her death. But will take dad tomorrow to visit her in the chapel of rest. Now the paperwork all starts. I don’t know what’s going to happen at work as I am unsure if they pay for bereavement leave and I can’t really miss the mortgage. I will have to chat to them about it.

 

this is such a distressing time for the whole family. I have managed to hold it together today and support my sisters and my brother. Dad was already accepting of the fact mum was not coming home. He turned to his belief in God, and clings to the hope he will see her again. I have offered him a room here at mine on a permanent basis if he needs. Or if he wants I can move into a room there on a short term basis until he comes to terms fully. 

 

I have lost many loved ones. Aunts, uncles, grandparents! Nothing could have prepared me for this! Holding her hand I couldn’t help but think of all the times those hands had an impact on my life, holding me as a child, feeding, nappy changes, winding, rocking the cot, pushing the pram, dressing me, working to provide for me, cuddling me when I was unwell or sad, helping me when I needed, congratulating me, patting me on the back, holding my hand and telling me everything would be ok as she lay dying. Then finally letting go as she slipped away after 73 years. 

 

Good night Mum. Sleep well and We will ALL see you again when you wake! But until then, know you were “are” loved and held close to our hearts. 

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4 hours ago, Lord Geordie said:

The event I have dreaded for years has finally happened. Having spent over 10 hours in hospital by her side, at 23:55 the woman who brought me into this world, has finally left mine. 😞 she fought with COPD and a weak heart for years, but finally today her heart could not cope any longer. Surrounded with love she peacefully slipped away. Poor dad was asleep at home having spent the day there with me. Not only visiting mum, but complaining of chest pain. After xrays they have found a shadow in his lung. They think it may be the big C but he needs to go back for them to do more tests. I had to drive down and wake him at midnight and hug him as I told him his wife of over 50 years had gone before him.

It broke my heart to have to leave her to the hospital staff after they confirmed her death. But will take dad tomorrow to visit her in the chapel of rest. Now the paperwork all starts. I don’t know what’s going to happen at work as I am unsure if they pay for bereavement leave and I can’t really miss the mortgage. I will have to chat to them about it.

 

this is such a distressing time for the whole family. I have managed to hold it together today and support my sisters and my brother. Dad was already accepting of the fact mum was not coming home. He turned to his belief in God, and clings to the hope he will see her again. I have offered him a room here at mine on a permanent basis if he needs. Or if he wants I can move into a room there on a short term basis until he comes to terms fully. 

 

I have lost many loved ones. Aunts, uncles, grandparents! Nothing could have prepared me for this! Holding her hand I couldn’t help but think of all the times those hands had an impact on my life, holding me as a child, feeding, nappy changes, winding, rocking the cot, pushing the pram, dressing me, working to provide for me, cuddling me when I was unwell or sad, helping me when I needed, congratulating me, patting me on the back, holding my hand and telling me everything would be ok as she lay dying. Then finally letting go as she slipped away after 73 years. 

 

Good night Mum. Sleep well and We will ALL see you again when you wake! But until then, know you were “are” loved and held close to our hearts. 

Having been through this myself I know how you feel.... Stay strong for your Dad.  

 

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You sound like you come from  close family and I send my condolences, "Mum's" are the hub of any family and set the tone and generally take care of pretty much most things.

I didn't know how we would cope without her when I lost my mum, but on the day of the funeral, I felt at peace knowing full well that she would not want any fuss and would really want us all to get on with our lives. I went from being a blubbering wreck to getting by!

My Uncle who was a pilot and flew spitfires I never met, but he sounded like an amazing character - died very young from a heart attack my mum used to hold up chocolate bars sideways on and he would shoot them cutting them in half (with an air rifle). They had been very close and I imagined as I looked skywards what, a re-union must be taking place (all mums siblings died before she did as she was the baby of the family), and after that I felt somewhat better as all the sadness and heartache seemed to be parked somewhere and although I miss her immensely, those thoughts and genuine belief that she would not wish any of us upset made me feel a whole lot better and able to cope with the worst thing ever!

I hope sharing this helps you because I REALLY do understand that Mums are totally priceless!  

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 so sorry to hear the sad news martin .

having lost both my parents at fairly young ages [both in their 60s] it is a pain like no other as they have been with you every day of your life .

the pain never goes away mate but believe me it does fade to an acceptable one over taken by all the good memories .  I found an initial relief coming to terms with the fact for her the suffering and fighting is over .

best wishes and condollences to you and yours mate 

Edited by hodge911
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1 hour ago, ditchman said:

there are not many forum's where you can open your heart on.......where you know other folk on it care...

hope you are ok

 

ditch

I think you have summed it up Simon , in so few words,  what sort of person would we be , if we could not shed a tear for others . You have wrote a beautiful and very moving, tribute to your mother lord Geordie. She will be proud of you and your farther to, hold him close , your head will be in a daze , one step at a time hey . There are no other words to be said stay strong .

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I'm sorry to hear your bad news L.G. Losing a parent is like losing part of yourself. It's as if a whole section of  your existence that has been a constant foundation since earliest memory is now gone. And that's really, really hard.

If it's any slight consolation, the pain will become less with time, and as time goes by you'll find that the memories of your mother start to bring a smile rather than a stab. You'll never 'get over' the loss entirely, but then again would you want to? It's thirty years since I lost my father and twenty since I lost my mother, but there hardly a day goes by when they don't pop up somewhere in my thoughts. But they're happy thoughts and that would please them.

If it helps at all, remember that what you're experiencing is one of those massive steps down the road of life. Sometimes the steps are good and sometimes they're bad. This is one of the very bad ones.

But stay strong. It will get better.

 

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