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black saturday , fine art sale.


mel b3
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ladies and gentlemen of pigeonwatch.

it is with the deepest regret , that i have sell my finest ever bin find(it has to come off my shed wall to make space for more shelving) , although my heartbreak will be tempered by the knowledge , that my sad loss , will bring years of happiness to another pigeonwatch member , and their family.

for sale is this beautiful work in oil , of a canal boat(with the name of caroline) , helmsman , and jack russel (ive named him nipper) . it was painted by that renowned artist B . Bayley , in 82 (im guessing 1982) , and it has been professionally cleaned by myself , using washing up liquid and a nail brush , and now that the smell has gone , it  would  grace the finest of homes (or shed) . can you just imagine the look of sheer elation on your wifes face if she unwrapped this fine piece on christmas morning , especially if she was named caroline , and was born in 1982. 

ive already turned down very generous offers from the tate modern , and the louvre , as i thought that the correct thing to do with such fine work , would be to offer it to a pigeonwatch member that likes cut boats , and would like to have a genuine black country cut boat , hanging in the shed.

unfortunately , this piece cant be posted , as it is clearly too valuable to be trusted in the hands of her majesties postal service , and it weighs more than my wife , so would cost a fortune , so it would need to be collected in person.

for this genuinely beautiful piece of black country history , i would like the paltry sum of £5,000 (read this bit carefully) OR NEAREST OFFER. obviously , any cash would go straight to a childrens charity , alternatively , id happily swap it , and if the swap had any monetary value , i would give that amount to a childrens charity.

thank you for looking, and can we please refrain from any unseemly squabbles as you fight over this beautiful creation. :D

ps , rumours that this is one of the works of art that were stolen in the hatton gardens robbery , are not true , probably :innocent:.

 

 

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1 hour ago, TIGHTCHOKE said:

Did you study at the Wabbitbosher School of Sales Technique?

Now David, do you really think that a piece of this quality needs any kind of sales technique ? . Quality sells itself 😆.

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44 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said:

It certainly does, apparently, your piece however does not!:w00t:

You can't rush these things 😆 . If constable was still alive he'd be trembling in awe of this true masterpiece 😆

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26 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said:

Beauty is apparently in the eye of the beholder and your artist got his guide dog to paint that for him!

Of course the artist is better known for his musical stand up act!

 

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Have you been possesed by the ghost of Brian sewell , or are you just overcome with envy because you don't own such a thing of incredible beauty 😆.

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17 minutes ago, blankmag said:

shame on you all !!!! quality piece of painting from the folk art movement no doubt  . uneducated louts  the lot of !! 

Thank you sir , at last someone that has the breeding to appreciate this masterpiece 👍

12 minutes ago, panoma1 said:

Did Ditchie tell you that? :whistling:

No but I bet that he was thinking it 😆.

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Serious post this morning gents.

It looks much much better in the flesh , and I'm sure it would look great hanging on the shed wall of a barge enthusiast . I'd have left it hanging on my shed wall if I didn't need to fit more shelving . Obviously it's free to anyone that can collect it as it wouldn't be worth the cost of posting . I'll keep it around for a few days before it goes into the log burner. 

👍.

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On 30/11/2019 at 20:47, mel b3 said:

I've often heard it said the the finest art is born with a belly filled with red wine , and eyes closed. I think that I probably ( definitely )just made that up 😊.

You are almost correct, what it actually states is that "art should be viewed with a belly full of good red wine."

 

That would help make the image a little better!:P

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10 hours ago, NoBodyImportant said:

I have always been fascinated by the English narrow boats. If I lived there I’d spend a year or two canal traveling.  

I think the only fascinating thing is how much **** and rubbish joe public throws into canal paths and waterways. 

The above masterpiece must be pre 90's, i cant see a peugeot scooter dumped anywhere 😂

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4 hours ago, TIGHTCHOKE said:

You are almost correct, what it actually states is that "art should be viewed with a belly full of good red wine."

 

That would help make the image a little better!:P

Better ? , BETTER ?, perfection cannot be improved upon !.😅

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On 30/11/2019 at 14:25, mel b3 said:

ladies and gentlemen of pigeonwatch.

it is with the deepest regret , that i have sell my finest ever bin find(it has to come off my shed wall to make space for more shelving) , although my heartbreak will be tempered by the knowledge , that my sad loss , will bring years of happiness to another pigeonwatch member , and their family.

for sale is this beautiful work in oil , of a canal boat(with the name of caroline) , helmsman , and jack russel (ive named him nipper) . it was painted by that renowned artist B . Bayley , in 82 (im guessing 1982) , and it has been professionally cleaned by myself , using washing up liquid and a nail brush , and now that the smell has gone , it  would  grace the finest of homes (or shed) . can you just imagine the look of sheer elation on your wifes face if she unwrapped this fine piece on christmas morning , especially if she was named caroline , and was born in 1982. 

ive already turned down very generous offers from the tate modern , and the louvre , as i thought that the correct thing to do with such fine work , would be to offer it to a pigeonwatch member that likes cut boats , and would like to have a genuine black country cut boat , hanging in the shed.

unfortunately , this piece cant be posted , as it is clearly too valuable to be trusted in the hands of her majesties postal service , and it weighs more than my wife , so would cost a fortune , so it would need to be collected in person.

for this genuinely beautiful piece of black country history , i would like the paltry sum of £5,000 (read this bit carefully) OR NEAREST OFFER. obviously , any cash would go straight to a childrens charity , alternatively , id happily swap it , and if the swap had any monetary value , i would give that amount to a childrens charity.

thank you for looking, and can we please refrain from any unseemly squabbles as you fight over this beautiful creation. 

ps , rumours that this is one of the works of art that were stolen in the hatton gardens robbery , are not true , probably .

 

 

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20191130_125240.jpg

This would go nice on my pub wall in my back garden 

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39 minutes ago, mel b3 said:

You're very welcome to it mate , it would be a long drive to collect it though , I'm guessing that it would be pretty expensive to post .

Bet you could carefully fold it down to large letter size if you really tried! Or you could cut into 6” x 4” size, the purchaser could then have hours of fun sticking it back together.......think of it as a big jigsaw! :whistling:

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18 hours ago, strimmer_13 said:

I think the only fascinating thing is how much **** and rubbish joe public throws into canal paths and waterways. 

The above masterpiece must be pre 90's, i cant see a peugeot scooter dumped anywhere 😂

😂I have noticed on the tv shows and YouTube videos that there is a lot of garbage for a waterway.  

Edited by NoBodyImportant
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