Diver One Posted January 23, 2020 Report Share Posted January 23, 2020 We all seem to have instilled the right values into our children....although at times it has been hard and I know this applies to everyone. I'm immensely proud of what my 3 have achieved and I keep on telling them. I look at my neighbours 3 (all same age as mine 36,34,32 ) I think if they saw daylight they would turn into dust! keep.up the good work 👍........remember they will choose our Care Home!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 7 hours ago, Diver One said: When youngestbdaughter was in her second year at Uni I convinced. Her that hens were brown, 2 legs, lived outside on grass as they were unstable and could break their beaks if they toppled over chicken had 4 legs and lived in cages because they could run up such a speed they would jump over the fences. And that's why you get 4 chicken drumsticks in a pack 😅😅😅 As a responsible parent, it is our responsibility to lie shamelessly to our children . My kids grew up thinking that I was in Vietnam in the second world war with John Wayne, they would pop over the road to ask my mom and dad , who would always confirm my stories 😊 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derbyduck Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 On 22/01/2020 at 21:30, Wb123 said: I don’t know wether to laugh or cry. A mate’s girlfriend just had to ask how many legs quail have whilst viewing my brood chamber, full of coturnix quail chicks. so after all that how many legs do they have ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 32 minutes ago, derbyduck said: so after all that how many legs do they have ? Well it six 🤭 thought everyone knew that 😂 3 hours ago, mel b3 said: 😅😅😅 As a responsible parent, it is our responsibility to lie shamelessly to our children . My kids grew up thinking that I was in Vietnam in the second world war with John Wayne, they would pop over the road to ask my mom and dad , who would always confirm my stories 😊 I remember flying you and big john out of a tight spot or two in my helicopter 🚁😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derbyduck Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 1 minute ago, Old farrier said: Well it six 🤭 thought everyone knew that 😂 Doh it's my age , I forgot . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 1 minute ago, derbyduck said: Doh it's my age , I forgot . Lots do 😊that must be why we have a head count on shoots 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derbyduck Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 Just now, Old farrier said: Lots do 😊that must be why we have a head count on shoots 😂 is that the bag or the guns ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 1 minute ago, derbyduck said: is that the bag or the guns ? The guns I think 🤔 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 5 hours ago, Old farrier said: Well it six 🤭 thought everyone knew that 😂 I remember flying you and big john out of a tight spot or two in my helicopter 🚁😂 That's the spirit 😆. That particular lie started when my lad spotted a hole in my ex army shooting jumper and asked how it happened😆. I also had them convinced that Id played tennis with henry the eighth 😅. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, mel b3 said: That's the spirit 😆. That particular lie started when my lad spotted a hole in my ex army shooting jumper and asked how it happened😆. I also had them convinced that Id played tennis with henry the eighth 😅. Was he between wives at the time 😂😂did you win? Edited January 24, 2020 by Old farrier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WestonSalop Posted January 24, 2020 Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 You know, there are days when I think life is just one great big pile of poo. And then a thread like this turns up. I owe what's left of the positive side of my mental health to PW. Thank you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wb123 Posted January 24, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2020 9 hours ago, derbyduck said: so after all that how many legs do they have ? Thirty. It’s a good thing these ones are suitable to be left barefoot as to get the farrier to see them too would cost a fortune... I will have to try the earlier suggestion of the differences between a hen and a chicken on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 On 24/01/2020 at 14:45, Old farrier said: Was he between wives at the time 😂😂did you win? please excuse the lateness of my reply nigel , i had to dash off and make a rather naughty film with kylie mynogue , obviously im fantastically well endowed and devastatingly good looking , and her career really needed the boost from someone like me . i then spent the rest of the weekend on a black ops mission , in the middle east with bear grylls and kendo nagasaki . for the record , H was between wifes three and four , and as always when i play tennis with royalty , i let them win (except prince andrew , the balls being in has a very different meaning with andrew). On 24/01/2020 at 14:52, WestonSalop said: You know, there are days when I think life is just one great big pile of poo. And then a thread like this turns up. I owe what's left of the positive side of my mental health to PW. Thank you all. please never ever ever trust your mental stability to anything you read on pigeonwatch , most posters are only one buckle away from a straight jacket Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 2 hours ago, mel b3 said: please excuse the lateness of my reply nigel , i had to dash off and make a rather naughty film with kylie mynogue , obviously im fantastically well endowed and devastatingly good looking , and her career really needed the boost from someone like me . i then spent the rest of the weekend on a black ops mission , in the middle east with bear grylls and kendo nagasaki . for the record , H was between wifes three and four , and as always when i play tennis with royalty , i let them win (except prince andrew , the balls being in has a very different meaning with andrew). please never ever ever trust your mental stability to anything you read on pigeonwatch , most posters are only one buckle away from a straight jacket Thanks for sorting her out TBH she’s been a bit of a pain texting and messages from her at all hours 😊 how is kendo I haven’t seen him for ages obviously I see a fair bit of bear as his mum lives up the road 😉 anyway can’t stop got to break out the long board teaching some singer types to surf tomorrow 🤭 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 14 minutes ago, Old farrier said: Thanks for sorting her out TBH she’s been a bit of a pain texting and messages from her at all hours 😊 how is kendo I haven’t seen him for ages obviously I see a fair bit of bear as his mum lives up the road 😉 anyway can’t stop got to break out the long board teaching some singer types to surf tomorrow 🤭 shes ok , but the naked pictures that she keeps sending on wattsapp are using up all of the data on my phone , what with kylie and gloria hunniford , its costing me a fortune , fortunately , im the one that got away from the hatton garden heist , and i have millions of pounds worth of gold and jewellery stashed in a swiss bank vault . my mistake about kendo , i got the masks mixed up , it was actually spiderman. bear was ok , but hes getting a bit too old and fat for it these days , fortunately , im still in peak physical condition(some would say stallionesque) as i had to go back and carry him out when he got a blister because his pants were too tight. hows the surf school going these days , are you still teaching the american womens beach volley ball team ?. i know it pays well , but having to rub each one of them all over with suncream must be a real chore for you mate. i was telling donald trump about your devotion to your pupils when he popped round for his tea , he said that hed be mentioning to the queen , and that a knighthood for services to tall leggy blondes may well be in order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 The surf school is going well although I’m not sure if it’s a good thing the lads smoking those big roleups when there having a rest 😎😏 shook hands with Spider-Man nightmare stuck on his hand for 20 minutes luckily I had a bit of kryptonite in my pocket to melt the glue the beach volleyball team is a bit grim after Christmas they’ve put on a few pounds and it’s taking a bottle and a half of oil and a lot of time to get them oiled up not sure if I need another award from HM it’s the lunch after those cucumber sandwiches give me wind as you say bear can be a bit of a sissy but I put that down to him being such a fussy eater 😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 3 hours ago, mel b3 said: please excuse the lateness of my reply nigel , i had to dash off and make a rather naughty film with kylie mynogue , obviously im fantastically well endowed and devastatingly good looking , and her career really needed the boost from someone like me . i then spent the rest of the weekend on a black ops mission , in the middle east with bear grylls and kendo nagasaki . for the record , H was between wifes three and four , and as always when i play tennis with royalty , i let them win (except prince andrew , the balls being in has a very different meaning with andrew). please never ever ever trust your mental stability to anything you read on pigeonwatch , most posters are only one buckle away from a straight jacket more like .TV Pal and Barry Bucknale... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 52 minutes ago, Old farrier said: The surf school is going well although I’m not sure if it’s a good thing the lads smoking those big roleups when there having a rest 😎😏 shook hands with Spider-Man nightmare stuck on his hand for 20 minutes luckily I had a bit of kryptonite in my pocket to melt the glue the beach volleyball team is a bit grim after Christmas they’ve put on a few pounds and it’s taking a bottle and a half of oil and a lot of time to get them oiled up not sure if I need another award from HM it’s the lunch after those cucumber sandwiches give me wind as you say bear can be a bit of a sissy but I put that down to him being such a fussy eater 😉 nothing more than i would expect from an undercover old farrier , you never know when a pocket full of kryptonite will come in handy on a black ops mission. have you thought about using marine grease on the ladies beach volleyball team ? , youd only have to mention grease gun and ditchman would pull on his speedos and be over there like a shot to help you. youre right about bear and his fussy eating habits , but in fairness to him , i saw the kebab that he ordered from big alis kebab shop on baghdad high street , and i dont think that id have eaten it either. 48 minutes ago, ditchman said: more like .TV Pal and Barry Bucknale... now come on simon , barry is far too famous , you have to keep things believable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 3 minutes ago, mel b3 said: nothing more than i would expect from an undercover old farrier , you never know when a pocket full of kryptonite will come in handy on a black ops mission. have you thought about using marine grease on the ladies beach volleyball team ? , youd only have to mention grease gun and ditchman would pull on his speedos and be over there like a shot to help you. youre right about bear and his fussy eating habits , but in fairness to him , i saw the kebab that he ordered from big alis kebab shop on baghdad high street , and i dont think that id have eaten it either. now come on simon , barry is far too famous , you have to keep things believable I ignored ditchman he’s into a world of fantasy 😂 iv been rubbing in second hand chip fat with a bit of horse lineament marine grease and sand are a terrible chaffing problem ☹️ give me shout if you’re out of kryptonite I’ve got plenty 👍 that reminds me superman owes me a favour after I moved on the last lot for him shure he’s pulling a sickie that day you should be ok at big Ali’s kebab shop now my brother (he’s a delivery driver) has sorted out the rats and cockroaches for him anyway duties call can’t talk about it or I’ll have to kill you before midnight 🤭 did I mention I’m trained to kill in three different sizes of boots 🥾 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 35 minutes ago, Old farrier said: I ignored ditchman he’s into a world of fantasy 😂 iv been rubbing in second hand chip fat with a bit of horse lineament marine grease and sand are a terrible chaffing problem ☹️ give me shout if you’re out of kryptonite I’ve got plenty 👍 that reminds me superman owes me a favour after I moved on the last lot for him shure he’s pulling a sickie that day you should be ok at big Ali’s kebab shop now my brother (he’s a delivery driver) has sorted out the rats and cockroaches for him anyway duties call can’t talk about it or I’ll have to kill you before midnight 🤭 did I mention I’m trained to kill in three different sizes of boots 🥾 😂 Talking of chaffing, whenever I have an evening with Kylie, I like to keep a bucket of water at the side of the bed , I like to dip the red hot poker from time to time to keep things cool , it steams my glasses up something awful though 😊. The rats and cock roaches were no problem, bear ate them all , said something about liking his food al dente , which I think is African for many legs. First rule of black ops , we never talk about the boots 👀. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditchman Posted January 26, 2020 Report Share Posted January 26, 2020 ive booked you all into re-hab "yeah yeah yeah"..🎶 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted January 27, 2020 Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 13 hours ago, mel b3 said: Talking of chaffing, whenever I have an evening with Kylie, I like to keep a bucket of water at the side of the bed , I like to dip the red hot poker from time to time to keep things cool , it steams my glasses up something awful though 😊. The rats and cock roaches were no problem, bear ate them all , said something about liking his food al dente , which I think is African for many legs. First rule of black ops , we never talk about the boots 👀. Well I survived another one 🙂you couldn’t make it up what a nightmare was undercover (protection and surveillance) at the transgender group’s visit to the local themed event the rocky horror picture show 🥺 never seen anything like it boys that thought they were girls pretending to be boys 🙄 girls that thought they were boys pretending to be girls 🙄 there was fair few that didn’t know what they were 🥺🤔 confused or what Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel b3 Posted January 27, 2020 Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 4 hours ago, Old farrier said: Well I survived another one 🙂you couldn’t make it up what a nightmare was undercover (protection and surveillance) at the transgender group’s visit to the local themed event the rocky horror picture show 🥺 never seen anything like it boys that thought they were girls pretending to be boys 🙄 girls that thought they were boys pretending to be girls 🙄 there was fair few that didn’t know what they were 🥺🤔 confused or what knowing how good you are at camoflage , and how you like to just melt into the background , did the stockings make your legs itch . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old farrier Posted January 27, 2020 Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 18 minutes ago, mel b3 said: knowing how good you are at camoflage , and how you like to just melt into the background , did the stockings make your legs itch . Not really mate being a master of disguise I formulated a cunning plan and went as a teapot 😂😊 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walker570 Posted January 27, 2020 Report Share Posted January 27, 2020 On 23/01/2020 at 09:57, ditchman said: on one hand i really am astonished at these replies..................but on the other hand....sometimes im really not surprised a while ago some one posted a thread (similar)...whilst walking in the country with his very well educated wife they came upon a field of sugar beet....and he had a devil of a job trying to explain thats where sugar came from.....she wounldnt have it tho But she agreed to the info on the sugar I take it On 23/01/2020 at 16:46, mel b3 said: Those xxxxxxx toffs get the best of everything while us poor downtrodden working class folk get naff all , I wish I'd voted for Jeremy Corbyn now , he would have soon sorted this haggis leg unfairness !!!!!. BUT look what it does to them.... chinless drivelling lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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