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Wb123

How many legs do they have?

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We all seem to have instilled the right values into our children....although at times it has been hard and I know this applies to everyone. I'm immensely proud of what my 3 have achieved and I keep on telling them.  I look at my neighbours 3 (all same age as mine 36,34,32 ) I think if they saw daylight they would turn into dust!

 

keep.up the good work 👍........remember they will choose our Care Home!!!

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7 hours ago, Diver One said:

When youngestbdaughter was in her second year at Uni I convinced. Her that

hens were brown, 2 legs, lived outside on grass as they were unstable and could break their beaks if they toppled over

chicken had 4 legs and lived in cages because they could run up such a speed they would jump over the fences.  And that's why you get 4 chicken drumsticks in a pack

😅😅😅

As a responsible parent,  it is our responsibility to lie shamelessly to our children . My kids grew up thinking that I was in Vietnam in the second world war with John Wayne,  they would pop over the road to ask my mom and dad , who would always confirm my stories 😊

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On 22/01/2020 at 21:30, Wb123 said:

I don’t know wether to laugh or cry. A mate’s girlfriend just had to ask how many legs quail have whilst viewing my brood chamber, full of coturnix quail chicks.

 

so after all that how many legs do they have ?

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32 minutes ago, derbyduck said:

so after all that how many legs do they have ?

Well it six 🤭

thought everyone knew that 😂

3 hours ago, mel b3 said:

😅😅😅

As a responsible parent,  it is our responsibility to lie shamelessly to our children . My kids grew up thinking that I was in Vietnam in the second world war with John Wayne,  they would pop over the road to ask my mom and dad , who would always confirm my stories 😊

I remember flying you and big john  out of a tight spot or two in my helicopter 🚁😂

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1 minute ago, Old farrier said:

Well it six 🤭

thought everyone knew that 😂

Doh it's my age ,  I forgot .

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Just now, Old farrier said:

Lots do 😊that must be why we have a head count on shoots 😂

is that the bag or the guns ?

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5 hours ago, Old farrier said:

Well it six 🤭

thought everyone knew that 😂

I remember flying you and big john  out of a tight spot or two in my helicopter 🚁😂

That's the spirit 😆

That particular lie started when my lad spotted a hole in my ex army shooting jumper and asked how it happened😆.

I also had them convinced that Id played tennis with henry the eighth 😅.

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1 hour ago, mel b3 said:

That's the spirit 😆

That particular lie started when my lad spotted a hole in my ex army shooting jumper and asked how it happened😆.

I also had them convinced that Id played tennis with henry the eighth 😅.

Was he between wives at the time 😂😂did you win?

Edited by Old farrier

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You know, there are days when I think life is just one great big pile of poo. And then a thread like this turns up.

 

I owe what's left of the positive side of my mental health to PW. Thank you all.

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9 hours ago, derbyduck said:

so after all that how many legs do they have ?

Thirty. It’s a good thing these ones are suitable to be left barefoot as to get the farrier to see them too would cost a fortune...

 

I will have to try the earlier suggestion of the differences between a hen and a chicken on them. 

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On 24/01/2020 at 14:45, Old farrier said:

Was he between wives at the time 😂😂did you win?

please excuse the lateness of my reply nigel , i had to dash off and make a rather naughty film with kylie mynogue , obviously im fantastically well endowed and devastatingly good looking , and her career really needed the boost from someone like me . i then spent the rest of the weekend on a black ops mission , in the middle east with bear grylls and kendo nagasaki .

 

for the record , H was between wifes three and four , and as always when i play tennis with royalty , i let them win (except prince andrew , the balls being in has a very different meaning with andrew).

On 24/01/2020 at 14:52, WestonSalop said:

You know, there are days when I think life is just one great big pile of poo. And then a thread like this turns up.

 

I owe what's left of the positive side of my mental health to PW. Thank you all.

please never ever ever trust your mental stability to anything you read on pigeonwatch , most posters are only one buckle away from a straight jacket :lol:

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2 hours ago, mel b3 said:

please excuse the lateness of my reply nigel , i had to dash off and make a rather naughty film with kylie mynogue , obviously im fantastically well endowed and devastatingly good looking , and her career really needed the boost from someone like me . i then spent the rest of the weekend on a black ops mission , in the middle east with bear grylls and kendo nagasaki .

 

for the record , H was between wifes three and four , and as always when i play tennis with royalty , i let them win (except prince andrew , the balls being in has a very different meaning with andrew).

please never ever ever trust your mental stability to anything you read on pigeonwatch , most posters are only one buckle away from a straight jacket 

Thanks for sorting her out TBH she’s been a bit of a pain texting and messages from her at all hours 😊

how is kendo I haven’t seen him for ages 

obviously I see a fair bit of bear as his mum lives up the road 😉

anyway can’t stop got to break out the long board teaching some singer types to surf tomorrow 🤭

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14 minutes ago, Old farrier said:

Thanks for sorting her out TBH she’s been a bit of a pain texting and messages from her at all hours 😊

how is kendo I haven’t seen him for ages 

obviously I see a fair bit of bear as his mum lives up the road 😉

anyway can’t stop got to break out the long board teaching some singer types to surf tomorrow 🤭

shes ok , but the naked pictures that she keeps sending on wattsapp are using up all of the data on my phone , what with kylie and gloria hunniford , its costing me a fortune , fortunately , im the one that got away from the hatton garden heist , and i have millions of pounds worth of gold and jewellery stashed in a swiss bank vault:big_boss: .

my mistake about kendo , i got the masks mixed up:blush: , it was actually spiderman.

bear was ok , but hes getting a bit too old and fat for it these days , fortunately , im still in peak physical condition(some would say stallionesque) as i had to go back and carry him out when he got a blister because his pants were too tight.

hows the surf school going these days , are you still teaching the american  womens beach volley ball team ?. i know it pays well , but having to rub each one of  them all over with suncream must be a real chore for you mate. i was telling donald trump about your devotion to your pupils when he popped round for his tea , he said that hed be mentioning to the queen , and that a knighthood for services to tall leggy blondes may well be in order.:good:

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The surf school is going well although I’m not sure if it’s a good thing the lads smoking those big roleups  when there having a rest 😎😏

shook hands with Spider-Man nightmare stuck on his hand for 20 minutes luckily I had a bit of kryptonite in my pocket to melt the glue 

the beach volleyball team is a bit grim after Christmas they’ve put on a few pounds and it’s taking a bottle and a half of oil and a lot of time to get them oiled up not sure if I need another award from HM it’s the lunch after those cucumber sandwiches give me wind 

as you say bear can be a bit of a sissy but I put that down to him being such a fussy eater 😉

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3 hours ago, mel b3 said:

please excuse the lateness of my reply nigel , i had to dash off and make a rather naughty film with kylie mynogue , obviously im fantastically well endowed and devastatingly good looking , and her career really needed the boost from someone like me . i then spent the rest of the weekend on a black ops mission , in the middle east with bear grylls and kendo nagasaki .

 

for the record , H was between wifes three and four , and as always when i play tennis with royalty , i let them win (except prince andrew , the balls being in has a very different meaning with andrew).

please never ever ever trust your mental stability to anything you read on pigeonwatch , most posters are only one buckle away from a straight jacket 

more like .TV Pal and  Barry Bucknale...:lol:

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52 minutes ago, Old farrier said:

The surf school is going well although I’m not sure if it’s a good thing the lads smoking those big roleups  when there having a rest 😎😏

shook hands with Spider-Man nightmare stuck on his hand for 20 minutes luckily I had a bit of kryptonite in my pocket to melt the glue 

the beach volleyball team is a bit grim after Christmas they’ve put on a few pounds and it’s taking a bottle and a half of oil and a lot of time to get them oiled up not sure if I need another award from HM it’s the lunch after those cucumber sandwiches give me wind 

as you say bear can be a bit of a sissy but I put that down to him being such a fussy eater 😉

nothing more than i would expect from an undercover old farrier , you never know when a pocket full of kryptonite will come in handy on a black ops mission.

have you thought about using marine grease on the ladies beach volleyball team ? , youd only have to mention grease gun and ditchman would pull on his speedos and be over there like a shot to help you.

youre right about bear and his fussy eating habits , but in fairness to him , i saw the kebab that he ordered from big alis kebab shop on baghdad high street , and i dont think that id have eaten it either.

48 minutes ago, ditchman said:

more like .TV Pal and  Barry Bucknale...:lol:

now come on simon , barry is far too famous , you have to keep things believable :lol:

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3 minutes ago, mel b3 said:

nothing more than i would expect from an undercover old farrier , you never know when a pocket full of kryptonite will come in handy on a black ops mission.

have you thought about using marine grease on the ladies beach volleyball team ? , youd only have to mention grease gun and ditchman would pull on his speedos and be over there like a shot to help you.

youre right about bear and his fussy eating habits , but in fairness to him , i saw the kebab that he ordered from big alis kebab shop on baghdad high street , and i dont think that id have eaten it either.

now come on simon , barry is far too famous , you have to keep things believable 

I ignored ditchman he’s into a world of fantasy 😂

iv been rubbing in second hand chip fat with a bit of horse lineament marine grease and sand are a terrible chaffing problem ☹️
give me shout if you’re out of kryptonite I’ve got plenty 👍

that reminds me 

superman owes me a favour after I moved on the last lot for him shure he’s pulling a sickie that day 
you should be ok at big Ali’s kebab shop now my brother (he’s a delivery driver) has sorted out the rats and cockroaches for him 

anyway duties call can’t talk about it or I’ll have to kill you before midnight 🤭

did I mention I’m trained to kill in three different sizes of boots 🥾 😂

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35 minutes ago, Old farrier said:

I ignored ditchman he’s into a world of fantasy 😂

iv been rubbing in second hand chip fat with a bit of horse lineament marine grease and sand are a terrible chaffing problem ☹️
give me shout if you’re out of kryptonite I’ve got plenty 👍

that reminds me 

superman owes me a favour after I moved on the last lot for him shure he’s pulling a sickie that day 
you should be ok at big Ali’s kebab shop now my brother (he’s a delivery driver) has sorted out the rats and cockroaches for him 

anyway duties call can’t talk about it or I’ll have to kill you before midnight 🤭

did I mention I’m trained to kill in three different sizes of boots 🥾 😂

Talking of chaffing,  whenever I have an evening with Kylie,  I like to keep a bucket of water at the side of the bed , I like to dip the red hot poker from time to time to keep things cool , it steams my glasses up something awful though 😊.

The rats and cock roaches were no problem, bear ate them all , said something about liking his food al dente , which I think is African for many legs.

First rule of black ops , we never talk about the boots 👀.

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13 hours ago, mel b3 said:

Talking of chaffing,  whenever I have an evening with Kylie,  I like to keep a bucket of water at the side of the bed , I like to dip the red hot poker from time to time to keep things cool , it steams my glasses up something awful though 😊.

The rats and cock roaches were no problem, bear ate them all , said something about liking his food al dente , which I think is African for many legs.

First rule of black ops , we never talk about the boots 👀.

Well I survived another one 🙂you couldn’t make it up what a nightmare 

was undercover (protection and surveillance) at the transgender group’s visit to the local themed event the rocky horror picture show 🥺

never seen anything like it boys that thought they were girls pretending to be boys 🙄

girls that thought they were boys pretending to be girls 🙄

there was fair few that didn’t know what they were 🥺🤔

confused or what  

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4 hours ago, Old farrier said:

Well I survived another one 🙂you couldn’t make it up what a nightmare 

was undercover (protection and surveillance) at the transgender group’s visit to the local themed event the rocky horror picture show 🥺

never seen anything like it boys that thought they were girls pretending to be boys 🙄

girls that thought they were boys pretending to be girls 🙄

there was fair few that didn’t know what they were 🥺🤔

confused or what  

knowing how good you are at camoflage , and how you like to just melt into the background , did the stockings make your legs itch :hmm:.

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18 minutes ago, mel b3 said:

knowing how good you are at camoflage , and how you like to just melt into the background , did the stockings make your legs itch .

Not really mate being a master of disguise I formulated a cunning plan and went as a 

 

 

 

 

 

teapot 😂😊

 

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On 23/01/2020 at 09:57, ditchman said:

on one hand i really am astonished at these replies..................but on the other hand....sometimes im really not surprised 

a while ago some one posted a thread (similar)...whilst walking in the country with his very well educated wife they came upon a field of sugar beet....and he had a devil of a job trying to explain thats where sugar came from.....she wounldnt have it tho

But she agreed to the info on the sugar I take it:lol:

On 23/01/2020 at 16:46, mel b3 said:

Those xxxxxxx toffs get the best of everything while us poor downtrodden working class folk get naff all , I wish I'd voted for Jeremy Corbyn now , he would have soon sorted this haggis leg unfairness !!!!!.

BUT look what it does to them.... chinless drivelling lot.

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