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The worlds gone mad


team tractor
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23 minutes ago, team tractor said:

This is nothing to do with a tap or shower but the fact he’s my boy

I work on schools maintenance and delivery’s so it really could affect my contracts . I’m all checked out . 
I work on every school within 10 miles . 
It’s upsetting my boy should be able to trust me . 


I get it mate but don’t take it personally. 
 

Your Obviously a decent bloke from a decent family. But sadly out there there are parents getting into showers with their own kids and it ain’t to help them wash. 

Don’t blame the teachers for it. Consider yourself lucky you live in a country where we bother to ensure our kids are alright. 
 

 

 

For me it’s like people who complain about health and safety, yet you look at countries where they don’t have H&S and the industrial deaths etc, and I count myself lucky to be born and raised in the UK. 

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1 minute ago, Lloyd90 said:


I get it mate but don’t take it personally. 
 

Your Obviously a decent bloke from a decent family. But sadly out there there are parents getting into showers with their own kids and it ain’t to help them wash. 

Don’t blame the teachers for it. Consider yourself lucky you live in a country where we bother to ensure our kids are alright. 
 

 

 

For me it’s like people who complain about health and safety, yet you look at countries where they don’t have H&S and the industrial deaths etc, and I count myself lucky to be born and raised in the UK. 

I understand Lloyd and after hearing some stories it’s heart breaking what the kids go through. My mum almost had a break down and really struggled after jury duty . All I know was it was young kids . 

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5 minutes ago, team tractor said:

I understand Lloyd and after hearing some stories it’s heart breaking what the kids go through. My mum almost had a break down and really struggled after jury duty . All I know was it was young kids . 


You’d be surprised mate, often goes on for years, from a young age well into their teens. 
 

It’s a sick world 😞 deffo tainted my view of the world at times. Probably why so many in the profession leave. 

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3 minutes ago, Lloyd90 said:


You’d be surprised mate, often goes on for years, from a young age well into their teens. 
 

It’s a sick world 😞 deffo tainted my view of the world at times. Probably why so many in the profession leave. 

My mates wife only came out a few years back about her dad and uncle . She’s 50 . Turned out it wasn’t just her . 
they’ve been locked up now .

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I'm really shocked the school have reacted like this, every school has a social worker there at some point these days, "my dad turns off the shower and makes me wash" hardly seems a reason to sound the alarm. 

When  I did my safe guarding course for working with kids, half the room were sports people and half were social workers or teachers, there was a real divide in attitudes as to what was acceptable, some of what I heard made me think I'd rather not work with kids. I know there have been a lot of horror stories over the years but how can some things get missed for so long and yet someone gets reported for looking after their kids hygiene??

We always showered when we were at high school but I don't remember any teachers being in there? Doesn't mean they weren't though,??

Simpler times the 90s

 

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I'm not wrapping you up in this blanket Lloyd because you seem like a decent bloke. But I've met a lot of social workers over the last 7 years or so and on the whole they're a bunch of ******* idiots. For example our bunch of foster kids were left in a known abusive home with with ni food in the cupboards, no clothes to wear unless they stole them and a father and grand father who were physically and mentally abusing the kids which included pimping out the oldest girl to known peadophiles. They were know to social services for at least 6 years prior to being removed. It was likely longer as there was a half sister who ran away after the sexual abuse and reported them. Myself and my parents turned these kids life around without any help from social services. They didn't like the eldest getting into racing and becoming a jockey and flatly no refuse to give him the bonuses they give his brothers because "you're doing too well for yourself" that's a direct quote from his social worker 10 days ago. 

It's a very sad world we live in nowadays if you can't turn the tap off in the shower without being hinted at being a pervert. 

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3 minutes ago, Benthejockey said:

I'm not wrapping you up in this blanket Lloyd because you seem like a decent bloke. But I've met a lot of social workers over the last 7 years or so and on the whole they're a bunch of ******* idiots. For example our bunch of foster kids were left in a known abusive home with with ni food in the cupboards, no clothes to wear unless they stole them and a father and grand father who were physically and mentally abusing the kids which included pimping out the oldest girl to known peadophiles. They were know to social services for at least 6 years prior to being removed. It was likely longer as there was a half sister who ran away after the sexual abuse and reported them. Myself and my parents turned these kids life around without any help from social services. They didn't like the eldest getting into racing and becoming a jockey and flatly no refuse to give him the bonuses they give his brothers because "you're doing too well for yourself" that's a direct quote from his social worker 10 days ago. 

It's a very sad world we live in nowadays if you can't turn the tap off in the shower without being hinted at being a pervert. 

My mate and his wife have taken a boy on after theirs moved out ( adults now) and it’s lovely to see how happy he is. 
He has a lovely bedroom and everything he needs and is cared for like their own. 
it’s a wonderful thing to see

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7 hours ago, Mice! said:

I'm really shocked the school have reacted like this, every school has a social worker there at some point these days, "my dad turns off the shower and makes me wash" hardly seems a reason to sound the alarm. 

When  I did my safe guarding course for working with kids, half the room were sports people and half were social workers or teachers, there was a real divide in attitudes as to what was acceptable, some of what I heard made me think I'd rather not work with kids. I know there have been a lot of horror stories over the years but how can some things get missed for so long and yet someone gets reported for looking after their kids hygiene??

We always showered when we were at high school but I don't remember any teachers being in there? Doesn't mean they weren't though,??

Simpler times the 90s

 

Genuinely I think my life changed after having kids . I was always worried about changing my daughters bum when she was young because of what people might say but then I realised that she needs me and as a parent it’s my job to make sure she’s clean and looked after. 
id give my life for my kids without a second thought. 
 

only reason I remember the teachers was , Mr Davis always said “ if you haven’t got a towel you can drip dry” 😂😂😂. 22 years later it’s a thing we all laugh about. Mind you that same teacher was arrested for driving the school mini bus over the drink limit and had the tax disk in his car 😂😂😂

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23 minutes ago, team tractor said:

My mate and his wife have taken a boy on after theirs moved out ( adults now) and it’s lovely to see how happy he is. 
He has a lovely bedroom and everything he needs and is cared for like their own. 
it’s a wonderful thing to see

We took on 2 brothers. The eldest liked to light fires and throw bricks at buses, the Middle one was an avid thief and shop lifter and the youngest one was mute and still on a bottle. He was 7. My grandad purchase pays to the pyromania. In a broad stokey accent "ahh you like a fire eh lad? Come on the ginger let's have a burn up" que massive, slightly out of control pyre. Scared him so much he never had another fire on his own. He didn't know that was a small fire by the old man's standards. We showed him everything dangerous he did we did bigger, better and more dangerouser. 

We worked out the other day he is the first one in that family since WW2 to have a job. 

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Oh dear, my daughter is 6 and still needs help checking shes wiped her bum properly, washing in the bath or shower. 

Dont call social services just yet, but occasionally, I get in the bath with her. I have however worn boxer shorts when doing this as I’m a prude about her seeing her daddy naked...

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It’s a difficult one! As a parent we see our kids gradually grow and innocently just carry on treating them as a child. Chris used to come along to my room on nights he couldn’t sleep and lay on the bed chatting until he fell asleep. One day at school his concentration was lapse as he was tired! The school queried his lack of sleep and he said he normally sleeps with me if he it tired! The school went nuts, social services seen it as it was! Then one day he had a disorder and you just touched his arm and he bruised the following day, he was clowning around in school on a Tuesday and the Wednesday morning had PE. Off came the pants and shirt to expose what the school perceived to be a battered child. Lucky for me his friends corroborated his story, and the doctor confirmed it. 
 

makes you wonder why schools and social services are quick to judge everyday folk, but nothing is done about naturists? 

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Schools have to be ultra cautious as they have more face to face contact with your child for possibly more time than you do and if they don't spot the signs of abuse then they get everyone saying how did they not know after being in contact with them for 7 hours a day 5 days a week? It's a catch 22 situation. My wife has put in a concern this week about a child who is constantly hungry and was seen eating food that had been dropped on the floor. It might be nothing about abuse but could she live with herself if it is?

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19 minutes ago, Lord Geordie said:

It’s a difficult one! As a parent we see our kids gradually grow and innocently just carry on treating them as a child. Chris used to come along to my room on nights he couldn’t sleep and lay on the bed chatting until he fell asleep. One day at school his concentration was lapse as he was tired! The school queried his lack of sleep and he said he normally sleeps with me if he it tired! The school went nuts, social services seen it as it was! Then one day he had a disorder and you just touched his arm and he bruised the following day, he was clowning around in school on a Tuesday and the Wednesday morning had PE. Off came the pants and shirt to expose what the school perceived to be a battered child. Lucky for me his friends corroborated his story, and the doctor confirmed it. 
 

makes you wonder why schools and social services are quick to judge everyday folk, but nothing is done about naturists? 

Makes you wonder who guards these 'guards' 

The spread of abusers is so wide it is not beyond the possibility that SS is infected with them. Given that some abusers actively seek work that interacts with kids.

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4 minutes ago, henry d said:

Schools have to be ultra cautious

This.

Nobody  ever got fired or pilloried in the tabloids for being over-cautious. But imagine, in the OPs scenario, if in someone else' case  a parent was later found to be abusive . ' You knew he regularly went into the bathroom when the child was showering and you didn't  raise  the matter?' ' He said what?' ' And you BELIEVED him?!?'

If you were a teacher the tabloids would murder you. So you treat everyone like a criminal. It's safer that way.

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11 minutes ago, Sha Bu Le said:

Makes you wonder who guards these 'guards' 

The spread of abusers is so wide it is not beyond the possibility that SS is infected with them. Given that some abusers actively seek work that interacts with kids.

They "guard" themselves. Best practice is having two workers together, yes the next question is what if they are both predatory? But it is redundant as we can't 100% know if they both are but it is best practice and usually they don't work together on every case their pairing rotates. Then there is the use of "multi agency" approach which can help detect problems that some agencies may not be their area of expertise.

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This is a problem society has, with no obvious resolution....”your damned if you do, your damned if you don’t”........

All people know whether their interest in children is pure or not...........the problem is, others don’t! 
 

So what does society do? The only thing it can do....err on the safety side! 

I personally can, hand on my heart say, any interest I have in children is not sexual and is born from a wish to help and protect them, and I would never harm a child!........but I wouldn’t approach a young child in the street even though they may be alone, distressed and crying......for fear of others pointing a finger at me claiming I was a pervert!

This is the reality of the ****  hole world we live in!

 

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26 minutes ago, henry d said:

They "guard" themselves. Best practice is having two workers together, yes the next question is what if they are both predatory? But it is redundant as we can't 100% know if they both are but it is best practice and usually they don't work together on every case their pairing rotates. Then there is the use of "multi agency" approach which can help detect problems that some agencies may not be their area of expertise.

Thanks for this Henry

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3 hours ago, Benthejockey said:

They didn't like the eldest getting into racing and becoming a jockey and flatly no refuse to give him the bonuses they give his brothers because "you're doing too well for yourself" that's a direct quote from his social worker 10 days ago. 

I can understand them not being happy about him getting into racing, its dangerous,  but your doing too well?? Come on, your supposed to want your kids to do better than you,  achieve more.

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53 minutes ago, panoma1 said:

This is a problem society has, with no obvious resolution....”your damned if you do, your damned if you don’t”........

All people know whether their interest in children is pure or not...........the problem is, others don’t! 
 

So what does society do? The only thing it can do....err on the safety side! 

I personally can, hand on my heart say, any interest I have in children is not sexual and is born from a wish to help and protect them, and I would never harm a child!........but I wouldn’t approach a young child in the street even though they may be alone, distressed and crying......for fear of others pointing a finger at me claiming I was a pervert!

This is the reality of the ****  hole world we live in!

 

And it’s just a crying shame. 
I remember around 10 years ago I was on a car park with a mate . A lad around 14-15 had a puncture. He was a mate of a mates son and had a 2 mile walk  so we chucked the bike in the van and I dropped him off while thinking nothing of it. 
I think looking back I was daft but I was just being helpful and I made him ring his parents. 
I’d never do it again but let’s say he’d been hurt while walking back ?  I’d of felt guilty. 

I’m just an honest bloke that likes to help people . I regularly help out for free if I can .

ive always said if I win the lottery that I’d love to start a charity for homeless people . It’s just how I am 

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16 minutes ago, Mice! said:

I can understand them not being happy about him getting into racing, its dangerous,  but your doing too well?? Come on, your supposed to want your kids to do better than you,  achieve more.

It is dangerous to an extent but what isn't? TT has cut off most things thar dangle and he nails wood together for a living. My uncle milks cows for a living and broke his foot stepping off the scraper tractor. People have trips and falls in office environments every day. Plus he's as thick as a brick so his career options were self limiting. It gave him a lot of independence and he's quite likeable so he made a lot of friends and he's actually made a decent living for himself. He works with me now and he is so very irritating 🙈 

I made a complaint a few years back when they were taken to do a workshop by the leaving care team and as part of the itinerary they were going to learn how to sign on. I went mad! We spent a long time instilling work ethic into these kids and then they want to teach them it's easier not to work!

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49 minutes ago, Benthejockey said:

It is dangerous to an extent but what isn't? TT has cut off most things thar dangle and he nails wood together for a living. My uncle milks cows for a living and broke his foot stepping off the scraper tractor. People have trips and falls in office environments every day. Plus he's as thick as a brick so his career options were self limiting. It gave him a lot of independence and he's quite likeable so he made a lot of friends and he's actually made a decent living for himself. He works with me now and he is so very irritating 🙈 

I made a complaint a few years back when they were taken to do a workshop by the leaving care team and as part of the itinerary they were going to learn how to sign on. I went mad! We spent a long time instilling work ethic into these kids and then they want to teach them it's easier not to work!

My wife fell over the cat and broke her arm  😂😂😂. No pets then 

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When my son was recently injured we were asked safeguarding questions and then our ‘version of events’ was investigated. I did not resent these actions at all as we had nothing to hide and if, by throwing a wide net, some children are protected from future harm I am perfectly willing to shoulder some inconvenience and humiliation. 

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