Massive scary spider

[fatchap]

I was in my workshop/shed today working on a couple of knives when movement caught my eye by the vice. On closer inspection and I cannot reiterate enough I only made eye contact briefly before running out of the shed with my arms flaying in the air, screaming like a 5 year old. There was this spider-no! Mutant alien spider, Huge great thing. I eventually convinced the wife to go and evict the offending arachnid, while I waited in the safety of the kitchen, after a very brief search she claimed there was nothing there. Now my wife has been known to be rather economical with the truth when it comes to removing spiders on my behalf so I was hesitant to return to the shed, I eventually plucked up the courage and cautiously walked in. I didn’t want to stay too long as it was probably waiting in ambush somewhere on the workbench. I have to get these two knives done and really do not want to share my shed with not so incy wincy. So my question is Mutant Alien Spider the size of a fist, .177 or .22?

Call me a tart, girls blouse whatever you want, I do not like spiders of any size and I have no intention of entering into a working relationship with one that you could put a saddle on and enter in the Grand National. And spiders are not scared of conkers, who ever came up with that pile of **** wants hanging up by his gonads.

[DUNKS]

We have one in the bathroom. Whenever I sit on the toilet he comes out of the top of the radiator to say hello

The rad is just by my elbow. Doesn't bother me or wifey but  could have disastrous result for a stranger.

[Old farrier]

Get a grip man 🙄

for heaven’s sake 

it’s simple gas torch (flame thrower) 😊

your average air gun is just not going to deal with it and it’s not effective if you’re trembling 😂

[JTaylor91]

I like seeing them in the house. My other half hates them and will not go to sleep if there is one in the bedroom. I’ve seen some big hairy ones, spiders too.

Edited May 8, 2020 by JTaylor91

[Harnser]

Sounds like a baby Norfolk black .

harnser

[Old farrier]

13 minutes ago, Harnser said:

Sounds like a baby Norfolk black .

harnser

Are they the very venomous jumping spiders that killed more people than the north Norfolk ale stampede? 

[dipper]

I have one very large one in my lounge.When I’m watching tv it runs across the room under the settee.I love them😀

[Walker570]

1 hour ago, DUNKS said:

We have one in the bathroom. Whenever I sit on the toilet he comes out of the top of the radiator to say hello

The rad is just by my elbow. Doesn't bother me or wifey but  could have disastrous result for a stranger.

Actually a she.  They are on the move just now, totally harmless to us humans but clear up any insects etc in the home. I never intentionally kill a spider anyway.  Have a big 50piece size female runa cross the kitchen floor most evenings in the summer. The males are about half size , rarely sen alive as the female kills them after they have done the necessary.

Fortunately in this country we do not have dangerous ones.  In Texas we where always aware as there where a couple who you did not want a bite from.  the big old tarantulas where pretty tame and didn't cause a problem but the much smaller brown recluse could leave you with a serious scar for life and you never knew it had bitten until a hole suddenly started to appear where you got bitten. Seriously nasty.

[Scully]

SIPE 32g 5’s. Sorted. 

[ClemFandango]

2 minutes ago, Scully said:

SIPE 32g 5’s. Sorted. 

I can't understand how you can think it is acceptable to use 5's for spiders. It's inhumane man!! Everyone know's pattern kills. 

A much more suitable shot size would be 7's. Keep your range inside 35yards. 

 

Top tip: You can decoy them with that ball of hair that forms in the bath plug hole. 

Edited May 8, 2020 by ClemFandango

[Danger-Mouse]

 

[kenholland]

I was going to buy you a Porsche spyder, for your birthday , but you seem faster out of the shed , so I think I will cancel , never mind.

[DoolinDalton]

Probably Tegenaria duellica or T. domestica.  If you want BIG spiders (which obviously you don't!) then google Nephila pilipes.  I had one on my groin....whilst searching for spiders on a jungle trail in Thailand!   

 

[Mice!]

4 hours ago, fatchap said:

Call me a tart, girls blouse whatever you want,

O you have made me giggle,  I can understand someone in Australia being scared, but come on it's just a great big hairy 8 legged beastie 

[Diver One]

I lôve spiders. They fascinate me. If we are lucky enough to get a decent one spin its web near the patio doors I am delighted. I have one of those electric tennis rackets for zapping flies. If the fly is big enough I put it on the spiders web. Sometimes I will,'cook it' on the racket so it has a cooked meal...must get sick of raw flies.  When I clean the window I put the spider in a container, then put it back on the web when the window is clean

[millrace]

There is a simple rule that has stood me well over the years... 

"If it's got more than 2 legs and crawls,stand on it and ask what it was later".....serves me well,,,

I feel you pain fatchap!!

[figgy]

Only a spider, have you seen the spiders that have been loosed in the UK? 

We import stuff from all around the world and some wee beasties come along with them.

Banana spiders, tarantulas in yucca plants, it's never just a spider to me 😬😲 put some coarse salt in single layer of loo roll and make a salt shot slug in.22 it should splatter it well.

Or mannup and buy the Bug o salt and get stalking in your shed with a pump action gun 👍💪

Edited May 9, 2020 by figgy

[London Best]

My missus found a big one in Africa once. Dunno what make it was, but the PH didn’t like it either.

[DoolinDalton]

I really cannot understand other people's fear or hatred of spiders, big or small.  It's been instilled in children, usually by their parents, to kill them... without any rational reason or thought.  They are not pests...remember, they eat insects....and the odd gecko and frog!  Yes, certain species can kill you....at least 10 species...but there's over 43, 000 different species!  Just remember...humans are the most dangerous species on the planet...but I don't suppose one will bite you on the butt when you're sat on the toilet!

[The Heron]

This is where the argument starts 308 or 243.😂

[Yellow Bear]

7 hours ago, The Heron said:

This is where the argument starts 308 or 243.😂

Reading some of the posts 50cal🤣

[fatchap]

Well I am going back to the shed this morning with any luck incy wincy has earned his keep and finished those two knives for me. Somehow I doubt it, spinning intricate webs yes but knowing what a Scandi grind is I very much doubt it. 

Nice to see there are a few others on here that do not see eye to eyes with spiders.

Obviously I will send the wife in first to survey the interior. If she's not out in 5 minutes I'll just wait longer.

[The Heron]

27 minutes ago, fatchap said:

Well I am going back to the shed this morning with any luck incy wincy has earned his keep and finished those two knives for me. Somehow I doubt it, spinning intricate webs yes but knowing what a Scandi grind is I very much doubt it. 

Nice to see there are a few others on here that do not see eye to eyes with spiders.

Obviously I will send the wife in first to survey the interior. If she's not out in 5 minutes I'll just wait longer.

Rather like Scott of the antarctic your going in but maybe a long time 😂

[old man]

9 hours ago, The Heron said:

This is where the argument starts 308 or 243.😂

SST's of course, minimum velocity 2800 fps?

[London Best]

When the wife found the biggy in Africa I was armed with my .375 Magnum. The PH chap examined the situation and advised a withdrawal with no shot. 
Maybe he didn’t consider a 300 grain bullet was adequate?