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I know that none of you will believe me , but I've finally found out how to make a woman happy FACT !.

Following covid , we'd both agreed to donate white blood cells (I think that's pretty standard). Well , when my good lady had the call , she answered all of the questions,  and all was well until they got to the question of height and weight , the conclusion was that she's too small and doesn't have enough bulk (she's about 7 stone) , she heard " you're not fat enough , you're too thin " .  So the fat old chocolate munching bloater has been walking around for two days ,  with a huge grin on her face , it's like she's won the lottery. The effects are truly amazing,  even my witty yet loving comments like " hey fatty , where's my tea" and " do you want me to Jack you up to get your shoes on " aren't raising a scowl. 

I've decided that for future Christmas and birthdays , all she'll be getting is a , congratulations you're thin , card .😅

I thought it only right and proper , to share this amazing discovery with the gentlemen of the watch.  Please don't abuse this new power👍.

Edited by mel b3
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10 minutes ago, mel b3 said:

I know that none of you will believe me , but I've finally found out how to make a woman happy FACT !.

Following covid , we'd both agreed to donate white blood cells (I think that's pretty standard). Well , when my good lady had the call , she answered all of the questions,  and all was well until they got to the question of height and weight , the conclusion was that she's too small and doesn't have enough bulk (she's about 7 stone) , she heard " you're not fat enough , you're too thin " .  So the fat old chocolate munching bloater has been walking around for two days ,  with a huge grin on her face , it's like she's won the lottery. The effects are truly amazing,  even my witty yet loving comments like " hey fatty , where's my tea" and " do you want me to Jack you up to get your shoes on " aren't raising a scowl. 

I've decided that for future Christmas and birthdays , all she'll be getting is a , congratulations you're thin , card .😅

I thought it only right and proper , to share this amazing discovery with the gentlemen of the watch.  Please don't abuse this new power👍.

Do you think they could ring mine. Since Christmas she's had us on every daft diet you can think of. Every time I go out it's straight to local drive through. Almost on first name terms there now. 

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43 minutes ago, mellors said:

Do you think they could ring mine. Since Christmas she's had us on every daft diet you can think of. Every time I go out it's straight to local drive through. Almost on first name terms there now. 

I have a cunning stunt , that will make me rich . I could invent the " your thin" app ,  men could secretly download it onto their wife's phone , and the app could constantly tell them that they're thin , I just need to try to understand what an app actually is .

We've eaten more junk food over the last three weeks (whilst ill) , than we have over the last five years . Her good self has even ordered macdonalds breakfasts while we were laying in bed 😳.

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4 minutes ago, mel b3 said:

I have a cunning stunt , that will make me rich . I could invent the " your thin" app ,  men could secretly download it onto their wife's phone , and the app could constantly tell them that they're thin , I just need to try to understand what an app actually is .

We've eaten more junk food over the last three weeks (whilst ill) , than we have over the last five years . Her good self has even ordered macdonalds breakfasts while we were laying in bed 😳.

Reckon there's money to be made with that kind of phone service. Must say those double big macs were good. Delivery could be a bit awkward though 😊

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10 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said:

Has Lin stopped eating chocolate?

 

If so I am worried!:w00t:

No , she's stopped eating everything else so that she can just eat chocolate 😅

She tries not to have chocolate in the house because she just can't resist it.

9 minutes ago, mellors said:

Reckon there's money to be made with that kind of phone service. Must say those double big macs were good. Delivery could be a bit awkward though 😊

Delivery is easy with the just eat thingy . They just knock your door and leave it on your step . She even ordered some cake things the other night.

7 minutes ago, dodgy dave said:

she might have another man you never know

She's too lazy 😅.

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Hello, I would say to Lin well done , nothing wrong with 7 stone 👍, I think that is nonsense those saying that to an extent I would say, Forget it, !!!!, Do the NHS say there is an obesity crisis ??? every where I go so many ladies are overweight, including some in the NHS, 

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26 minutes ago, oldypigeonpopper said:

Hello, I would say to Lin well done , nothing wrong with 7 stone 👍, I think that is nonsense those saying that to an extent I would say, Forget it, !!!!, Do the NHS say there is an obesity crisis every where I go so many ladies are overweight, including some in the NHS, 

You're joking Gordon,  she's a right fat lump , I have to roll her to bed every night 😅.

For those that don't know us . She's not fat , she's tiny  ,I am fat though . We both enjoy the craic , and that's why the mickey taking is ok .

She is really really fat though , and I'll be showing her this thread later , and I'll be pointing out that TIGHTCHOKE said that she was like a  fat baby elephant,  but then deleted his post 😅.

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13 minutes ago, TIGHTCHOKE said:

Go for it. She knows who buys the chocolate and it isn't you!:w00t:

i told her that ditchman had hand delivered them for her , wearing his tuxedo and driving an aston martin :lol:.

 

come to think of it , their was mention of another man , and i did notice a few greasy fingerprints on her huge undercrackers  , i reckon the norfolk james bond might be popping round when im out shooting :hmm:.

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1 hour ago, mel b3 said:

i told her that ditchman had hand delivered them for her , wearing his tuxedo and driving an aston martin :lol:.

 

come to think of it , their was mention of another man , and i did notice a few greasy fingerprints on her huge undercrackers  , i reckon the norfolk james bond might be popping round when im out shooting :hmm:.

But you are NEVER out shooting!:w00t:

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8 minutes ago, walshie said:

My mrs would be thin if she was 7'8".

thats terrible , i would never utter a fatist remark like that about my rotund good lady:innocent:.

pw could do with a fat wives section . us thin blokes could go there to moan about never getting any biscuits because our fat wives ate them first :lol:.

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8 hours ago, A.R.P. said:

Mel,you dont know when you are well off.

How's it going Alan. 

She's the lucky one mate , managing to land a catch like me 😅😅😅.

 

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On 08/02/2021 at 17:46, mel b3 said:

thats terrible , i would never utter a fatist remark like that about my rotund good lady:innocent:.

pw could do with a fat wives section . us thin blokes could go there to moan about never getting any biscuits because our fat wives ate them first :lol:.

:yes:

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5 hours ago, loriusgarrulus said:

It must of nearly broke her arms. 😚

How very dare you madam , you know how sensitive I am about these delicate matters 😅😅😅.

5 hours ago, discobob said:

She used one of these125095688_download(2).jpg.8450ecd471d53d8195b39fe4b5aef170.jpg

Only bigger 🤣

 

and I am the pot calling.......

It would need one of those , plus scaffolding to catch me😅.

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