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My situation has very recently changed and now I'm single again.

I'll be having my son at least half of the time. That's all good, we'll be very busy as soon as the weather breaks.

But what do people do when the kids are in bed?

It used to be easy. The (ex) wife would be home. We could talk or I could go out. I didn't always go out but I had the option.

Now I put him to bed at 2000 and I'm twiddling my thumbs until he wakes.

I've been up since 0430 and he's still snoring.

I think I've completed the internet.

I'm not much into tv.

There's lots of things to learn but this is the start and it's a tough one. 

Any suggestions?

Edd

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4 minutes ago, eddoakley said:

My situation has very recently changed and now I'm single again.

I'll be having my son at least half of the time. That's all good, we'll be very busy as soon as the weather breaks.

But what do people do when the kids are in bed?

It used to be easy. The (ex) wife would be home. We could talk or I could go out. I didn't always go out but I had the option.

Now I put him to bed at 2000 and I'm twiddling my thumbs until he wakes.

I've been up since 0430 and he's still snoring.

I think I've completed the internet.

I'm not much into tv.

There's lots of things to learn but this is the start and it's a tough one. 

Any suggestions?

Edd

Clean the house , prepare meals , do anything work related that you can do from home ,do your washing and ironing , and pretty much anything else that you can't do while your little un is awake and needs your attention 👍

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All good but I'm on top of that when I don't have him.

I'm moving soon so will have a new house to sort but apart from a bit of decorating there won't be much that I can do while he's asleep.

Its all new and I'm sure we'll figure it out.

 

Edd

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6 minutes ago, eddoakley said:

All good but I'm on top of that when I don't have him.

I'm moving soon so will have a new house to sort but apart from a bit of decorating there won't be much that I can do while he's asleep.

Its all new and I'm sure we'll figure it out.

 

Edd

You'll soon find your new routines 👍.

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6 minutes ago, Jaymo said:

Exactly as per how Mel describes.

What do you do on the days/nights that you don’t have him? 

Ps, sorry for your predicament and hope it is amicable.

The split is amicable. Mostly.

I've plenty to do when I don't have him. Mostly work, which is ok, but plenty of other stuff too.

It's mostly when he's asleep. It's literally only been a matter of days but I'm already finding that bit tough.

And not being able to just put my boots on and go out at a moment's notice.

Edd

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Sharpen you chainsaw, knives. 

Make little surprises for when he wakes up, how old is he? I used to move my girls or stepsons toys around just a little so they thought they’d come to life during the night.

get into a new tv series, or check out documentaryheaven.com

write a book? 

try and sleep longer?

 

as above, sorry it didn’t work out for whatever reason, I know from having a stepson how it can affect kids. 

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fill time? let’s see wake kids dress feed water them school run dash to work graft all day home pick kids up from mum’s supermarket unload shopping load washing bite to eat sort bills hoover house tuck kids in make school lunches won’t bore you with full list but a breakdown would have been a luxury so couldn’t afford to have one lol ps it gets better! 

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Take up fly tying? I'm not really sure you need to be a fly fisherman to do it. I've always thought about giving it a go and I don't fly fish! It sounds like you have the luxury of a quiet house that should probably remain quiet when they're sleeping, so something quiet but absorbing would be ideal

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Just now, button said:

Get some weights organised and use the down time to pump some iron,be a super fit dad that partakes rather than standing on the sidelines wishing you could

Just what I was about to write ..... then some internet dating 🤪

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17 minutes ago, button said:

Get some weights organised and use the down time to pump some iron,be a super fit dad that partakes rather than standing on the sidelines wishing you could

I already am!

Well, maybe not quite.

Yeah the rowing machine will likely reappear.

I used to do a lot of that.

 

I won't bring work home, no more than a few emails, and all the toys like chainsaws and stuff at at work.

I'm sure it just takes a bit of getting used to. The summer will be better when we're not in the house at all.

Sleeping on the boat or in the camper will be better I think.

 

Edd

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27 minutes ago, chrisjpainter said:

Take up fly tying? I'm not really sure you need to be a fly fisherman to do it. I've always thought about giving it a go and I don't fly fish! It sounds like you have the luxury of a quiet house that should probably remain quiet when they're sleeping, so something quiet but absorbing would be ideal

+1 whilst I do fly fish I tie far more flies than I ever need. It is thoroughly absorbing and relaxing. After fifty years at it I am still learning new things. The difficult flies are a real challenge and you always strive for perfection even though the trout don’t generally care.

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9 minutes ago, Dave at kelton said:

+1 whilst I do fly fish I tie far more flies than I ever need. It is thoroughly absorbing and relaxing. After fifty years at it I am still learning new things. The difficult flies are a real challenge and you always strive for perfection even though the trout don’t generally care.

Another vote for fly tying here!!! Mind you it can be bloody frustrating, just when you tie up a cracker and you catch the hook point and snap the thread 😬

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Try something different, painting? Even if you don't think you are good enough, go and get lessons from a local college, I bought my wife lessons and it was worth their weight in gold.

Another thing is learning. A different language, local history, genealogy/family history, all good for opening the mind.

If you want more outdoorsy, as above, fly tying, whittling, knife making, stick making, nets...

ATB

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BBC iPlayer has a selection of films. I watched "Stand & Ollie" with my seven year old last night. We both enjoyed it. Or you could watch it on your own. I used to tie flies on the Eurostar from (then) London Waterloo to Paris. It was in those days a four and a quarter hour journey as in the UK it could only do 60 mph before it moved to St. Pancras when HS1 opened.

Edited by enfieldspares
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Spare time, I vaguely remember that! My thoughts aren't very original; fly tying was the first (god knows why, I don't  do it, although I am a fly fisherman). I can waste hours on YouTube. There's an awful lot of **** on there, but some really good stuff too, very educational. Since most of what I watch is fishing/hunting/diving/outdoors related, it gives me ideas for my next adventure, so far from been an unhealthy use of time, it gets me out there doing it. 

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2 hours ago, eddoakley said:

It's mostly when he's asleep. It's literally only been a matter of days but I'm already finding that bit tough.

And not being able to just put my boots on and go out at a moment's notice.

I can imagine that being very different after having been a couple,  once the lad is in bed your housebound.

Guess it's about what you like to do, time to read, your rowing machine, gets easier as they get older.

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Why not just relax, take some deep breaths and let your mind wander, daydream.

Start to learn something new, or something you and your son can do together.

Build him something, don't know his age but if young, a plywood electric drive land rover. Lots of plans and designs online.

If older buy him a old scrambler or trials bike and fix it up for him.

If you are or interesting in fishing make your own lure rigs flies etc.

There are lots of things you can do.

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43 minutes ago, figgy said:

Why not just relax, take some deep breaths and let your mind wander, daydream.

Start to learn something new, or something you and your son can do together.

Build him something, don't know his age but if young, a plywood electric drive land rover. Lots of plans and designs online.

If older buy him a old scrambler or trials bike and fix it up for him.

If you are or interesting in fishing make your own lure rigs flies etc.

There are lots of things you can do.

I'm not really a just relaxing kind of person. I'm always doing something, knowing that I don't have that option is the hard bit.

My boy is 3 so bikes and quads are all in the pipeline. Currently looking for a quad but seems everyone is out of stock.

We have plenty to do together. He enjoys coming to work with me, we've a dog and plenty of places to walk her, he'll start fishing and shooting soon enough, he enjoys coming on the boat, I have friends and family that we can visit any time, we play rugby, we just enjoy doing the everyday stuff together.

But it's the nights that I'm already finding difficult.

 

Edd

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1 hour ago, eddoakley said:

I'm not really a just relaxing kind of person. I'm always doing something, knowing that I don't have that option is the hard bit.

My boy is 3 so bikes and quads are all in the pipeline. Currently looking for a quad but seems everyone is out of stock.

We have plenty to do together. He enjoys coming to work with me, we've a dog and plenty of places to walk her, he'll start fishing and shooting soon enough, he enjoys coming on the boat, I have friends and family that we can visit any time, we play rugby, we just enjoy doing the everyday stuff together.

But it's the nights that I'm already finding difficult.

 

Edd

If you weren’t in a foreign country 🙂

Then you could have had my boys battery quad, it’s not fast but they loved.

Tried to get them into having an electric trials bike but to no avail - so far !

BTW- what’s this bloody fascination with fly tying by others. I keep getting images of an old man ringing round for a copy of ‘Fly Fishing, by JR Hartley’ 

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5 hours ago, Rob85 said:

Another vote for fly tying here!!! Mind you it can be bloody frustrating, just when you tie up a cracker and you catch the hook point and snap the thread 😬

Yep fly tying, it’s a slippery slope, filling boxes and boxes with flies, become a perfectionist and never being happy with them and then fishing the same patterns and only using 10% of the flies you tie lol!

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11 minutes ago, oscarsdad said:

Yep fly tying, it’s a slippery slope, filling boxes and boxes with flies, become a perfectionist and never being happy with them and then fishing the same patterns and only using 10% of the flies you tie lol!

from a boxful of materials that cost 10x buying the best quality flies available - but there is still something about catching on flies you have tied yourself

 

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