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Women lol.


samboy
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Hi gang.

               I was walking round the field with an 82 yr old woman and our dogs when she suddenly said i think i'll buy a vibrator.

               I nearly choked. But what she meant was one of those things you put your feet in and it revitalises your legs as seen on tv.

               Bless her. 

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22 minutes ago, samboy said:

Hi gang.

               I was walking round the field with an 82 yr old woman and our dogs when she suddenly said i think i'll buy a vibrator.

               I nearly choked. But what she meant was one of those things you put your feet in and it revitalises your legs as seen on tv.

               Bless her. 

Botham's delight 🤔😁

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23 minutes ago, samboy said:

Hi gang.

               I was walking round the field with an 82 yr old woman and our dogs when she suddenly said i think i'll buy a vibrator.

               I nearly choked. But what she meant was one of those things you put your feet in and it revitalises your legs as seen on tv.

               Bless her. 

Well if she had bought the other sort it would be dual purpose. Throw it in the washing up bowl and you can relieve your aching feet as well……… a mate tells me!

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I can trump those. 

Many years ago , whilst working in a garage , we were all sitting eating lunch , when a 40 something year old lady, walks in carrying a large vibrator and a pack of batteries.  She asked if one of us could fit the new batteries as she couldn't get it apart , the boss changed the batteries,  and handed it back , with a few added greasy fingerprints , and a grin 😅😅😅😅

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My Mrs used to wear a perfume called ORGANZA .... 

We were at the metro centre when she said oh I need to get a new bottle of perfume so into perfume shop we go and the middle aged woman behind the counter pipes up can I help .

My Mrs says yes please can I have a bottle of ORGASM  sales assistant replied I wish they sold it pet I'd have the biggest bottle they sold . I was peeing myself .

My Mrs took a wee while to fathom out why 

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2 hours ago, steve_b_wales said:

When I worked for FADS (D I Y chain) a woman came into the shop and asked if I sold dildo rail.

We were working on a four storey Victorian house converting it back from apartments to a large house for a lesbian couple. We were talking about finishes and fittings and they had the exact same slip of the tongue, then burst into giggles as we sat blushing.

The best lesbian client moment came much more deliberately.... A young attractive lesbian (late 20s) we were working for came into the office for some superficial reason, unusual as she was dolled up and had never been particularly friendly or to the office before. She then she sat perched on the desk and explained how  it was really hard to find a good sperm donor and that they are very expensive.... She owed us money anyway as the project had snowballed on a fixed fee so I was in no mood to give away more freebies. 

Edited by WalkedUp
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My wife was a very conservative girl.  Refused to kiss before marriage type.  Her dad had a old 1969 chevelle car no seatbealts and slick plastic covered seats.) We was at a car show and she was walking with my father.  She saw a 69 and said.  I used to have a lot of fun rolling around in the backseat of one of those!  Talking about have her and her brother would slide back and forth in the seat as her father drove around.  

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my mum was a bit niaeve...............during the start of the AIDS crisis...the govt were sending round "kids" / young people knocking on peoples doors asking lifestyle questions...........one of the questions was .."do you partake in watersports"...........she hadnt a clue what was the real reason...but went on at lenghth about her watersking in the far east in the early 60's..........

she would often relate this story to ....lets say ...more well informed friends.....who never had the bottle to fess up as to what the govt survey was really about :lol:

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Down the Falklands you had to check your main luggage in the day before the flight back - I gave a girl of my watch a lift up with her case - it was put through an X-Ray machine - and in it was the biggest Dado Rail - and she was only tiny!!!

She actually appeared in recruitment photo's the following year if I remember right!!

 

 

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A girl I worked with in Leigh, asked her mother to go to the chemist and buy her some depilatory cream using the local nickname.

Apparently, The mother then  marched up to the counter in Boots and asked in a very loud voice “can I have a jar of  MUFF DE-FLUFF cream please!”

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47 minutes ago, Sciurus said:

A girl I worked with in Leigh, asked her mother to go to the chemist and buy her some depilatory cream using the local nickname.

Apparently, The mother then  marched up to the counter in Boots and asked in a very loud voice “can I have a jar of  MUFF DE-FLUFF cream please!”

😂

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On 23/08/2021 at 20:20, billytheghillie said:

When i worked in a sex shop, a woman came in and said  " Can i have that big tartan dildo thats on the top shelf? "  I said no love, thats my thermos flask!

Same when I worked in one but the lass asked for the "red one on the wall behind you", had to tell her that it was a fire extinguisher.

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