Jump to content

Jinx


walshie
 Share

Recommended Posts

Does anyone believe a person can be a jinx?

A mate of mine comes to stay with us a couple of times a year and without fail something always goes wrong a few days before his arrival.

This has included:

The central heating programmer packing up while it was snowing outside.

Utility room roof blowing off.

My wife's polytunnel blowing away (2 occasions).

The pressure tank for our water bursting its bladder.

He came to visit us 2 Saturdays ago and on the Friday my wife noticed an oil smell from our heating oil tank and I noticed a split in the plastic. As they can't install single skin tanks here any more and they need a specific size and thickness of base it's costing the thick end of £4k to get it fixed. That's on top of the £300 emergency call out to get the tank drained.

And a decent size tree fell over into the steam while he was actually here.

We used to joke about it, but now it seems like it's really a thing. 

On the bright side my house is getting replaced visit by visit. :unhappy:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wait for dawn to come and then cut his living heart out, and, whilst it is still beating, offer it up the Gods as appeasement. That usually sorts it. There's always a simple solution to any problem to be found here on P/W. Let me know how you got on and if it resolved the matter. And as for Dawn she probably won't be too happy but she's usually hard to please anyway. You can't keep everyone smiling all of the time.

Edited by enfieldspares
Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, enfieldspares said:

Wait for dawn to come and then cut his living heart out, and, whilst it is still beating, offer it up the Gods as appeasement. That usually sorts it. There's always a simple solution to any problem to be found here on P/W. Let me know how you got on and if it resolved the matter. And as for Dawn she probably won't be too happy but she's usually hard to please anyway. You can't keep everyone smiling all of the time.

And then you can post in this thread

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

44 minutes ago, enfieldspares said:

Wait for dawn to come and then cut his living heart out, and, whilst it is still beating, offer it up the Gods as appeasement. That usually sorts it. There's always a simple solution to any problem to be found here on P/W. Let me know how you got on and if it resolved the matter. And as for Dawn she probably won't be too happy but she's usually hard to please anyway. You can't keep everyone smiling all of the time.

Don't think that hasn't crossed my mind. :ninja:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, TIGHTCHOKE said:

So good to see the old carp resurfacing!   

No need to be envious because you don't have any friends that are murderers.

One day the truth will get out that ditchman has been killing and eating vagrants for the last fifty years . You'll be catapulted right to the top of the " my mate is a murderer " league 😁.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

29 minutes ago, enfieldspares said:

Washed down with a chianti?

 

I reckon ditchman washes them down with an engineers cocktail. It's made from , gin , wd40 , and engineers blue , and it's finished with two cherries , and one of those pineapple chunks that you see in public urinals.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

37 minutes ago, mel b3 said:

No need to be envious because you don't have any friends that are murderers.

One day the truth will get out that ditchman has been killing and eating vagrants for the last fifty years . You'll be catapulted right to the top of the " my mate is a murderer " league 😁.

Oh I can't wait!  :drool:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, mel b3 said:

No need to be envious because you don't have any friends that are murderers.

One day the truth will get out that ditchman has been killing and eating vagrants for the last fifty years . You'll be catapulted right to the top of the " my mate is a murderer " league 😁.

That explains it now.🤷‍♀️

In between the gin , wd40 , and engineers blue and the meths infused vagrants ditchman is well pickled. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, loriusgarrulus said:

That explains it now.🤷‍♀️

In between the gin , wd40 , and engineers blue and the meths infused vagrants ditchman is well pickled. 

It would explain many things 😏

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...