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Mental health of our youngster


old'un
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Caught a bit on the news last night about the record high numbers of 5 to 20 year olds who are suffering mental health problems with around 400 thousand a month being treated for anxiety and self harm, some as young as 6 years old.

So what's causing this surge in mental health problems, Covid? social media?

I also wonder what effect this high number of mental health markers on peoples medical records will have on future gun ownership and tomorrows shooters?

There may have been mental health issues when I was at school in the late 50s early 60s but I cannot recall anyone self harming or taking their own life, what a mess today's youngster seem to-be in.

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It’s extremely sad. My grandson has been diagnosed with autism at 14 and has been really struggling when you add in a difficult family life with step brothers and dyslexia. He has been having counselling but he doesn’t want to open up to us but fortunately his school is very supportive but his peers less so. I am sure a lot of it is overall social pressure of which media is a small part.

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19 minutes ago, Dave at kelton said:

It’s extremely sad. My grandson has been diagnosed with autism at 14 and has been really struggling when you add in a difficult family life with step brothers and dyslexia. He has been having counselling but he doesn’t want to open up to us but fortunately his school is very supportive but his peers less so. I am sure a lot of it is overall social pressure of which media is a small part.

Sorry to hear about the problems your grandson is suffering.

I think social media as a lot to answer for, my niece is on Facebook and her posts contain words like “Hun” and “Babe” plus a few others, she uploads the obligatory photo of her with the camera held high and a pouting sideways glance and then looks for “Likes” if she does not get any she seems quite upset by it, if she ever gets a bad post about her photo or something she says, she is almost in tears about it.

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Autism does not mean you cant do things with him love him and time out with you will help.

You said about step brothers how do they get on (I have two step kids and adopted two more they get one fine)

He may learn more in a hands on situation  trying to get my Grand daughter a diagnosis as she as struggled since coming to live with us  but we are still fighting to get her help. The pressure put on me and the wife dealing with her needs as she does not understand basic instructions and is forgetful.

We have fostered over forty five children over the years and never had a child with our granddaughters challenges.👍

 

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30 minutes ago, Dougy said:

Link

I have a couple of staff that are on medication for mental heath issues, the above link is a brilliant read for those who dont quite understand why some people are different. 👍

I can understand adult mental health problems with all the pressures they/we are under….but 6, 7 years olds?

Kids can be a bit cruel to one another and think its always been that way, I remember the older lads at school bullying the younger kids, one of there favourite threats was the “Rack” where your arms were put through the school railings and then bent towards your chest, if they wanted to really embarrass you they would pull your trousers and underpants down in front of half the school, did it effect any of us? I don't think so? But the thing then it was mostly at school and forgot about the day after, but now with social media some kids are constantly hounded and bullied with nasty posts for the whole world to see and some of the real nasty posts even suggest they are worthless and should end it all, and some do.

4 minutes ago, ditchman said:

computors and social media..........which make on going conditions much worse...and lack of parenting skills...and/or disinterest in their offspring....

:good:

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Yes ditchman and no interest in there offspring just stopped being a youth worker on Kent border and south east London.

Lots of kids with all the designer clothes and phones and ipads but lacking parents attention and love and fending for themselves all the time.

When I went to senior school you got your head dunked in the sink or bog if you struggled.

To much pressure on kids about being a boy/girl  or the the new image transgender come on let them grow up first and then decide.

First few years at secondary school got the cane  six of the best or detention every week then I started to grow up and behave.

We all choose our own paths to follow.

Edited by bottletopbill
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Just now, old'un said:

I can understand adult mental health problems with all the pressures they/we are under….but 6, 7 years olds?

Kids can be a bit cruel to one another and think its always been that way, I remember the older lads at school bullying the younger kids, one of there favourite threats was the “Rack” where your arms were put through the school railings and then bent towards your chest, if they wanted to really embarrass you they would pull your trousers and underpants down in front of half the school, did it effect any of us? I don't think so? But the thing then it was mostly at school and forgot about the day after, but now with social media some kids are constantly hounded and bullied with nasty posts for the whole world to see and some of the real nasty posts even suggest they are worthless and should end it all, and some do.

I dont disagree with what you say about the pampering and molly coddling of kids today, and when i hear some of excuses given for out of control kids over the last decade, in my day it would have been a clip round the ear or similar, Whatever i got i deserved but it hasnt made me want to go round beating on people to get back at my childhood misbehaving, mischievous activities. 

 

But the book is a brilliant read.  

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I think a lot comes from schools. They are constantly told that they need counselling for any incident no matter how trivial. This then stops those with genuine mental health problems from getting the help they need. 

Edited by Rem260
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56 minutes ago, bottletopbill said:

Yes ditchman and no interest in there offspring just stopped being a youth worker on Kent border and south east London.

Lots of kids with all the designer clothes and phones and ipads but lacking parents attention and love and fending for themselves all the time.

When I went to senior school you got your head dunked in the sink or bog if you struggled.

To much pressure on kids about being a boy/girl  or the the new image transgender come on let them grow up first and then decide.

First few years at secondary school got the cane  six of the best or detention every week then I started to grow up and behave.

We all choose our own paths to follow.

 

Yep very true, one of my pet hates at the minute is all this “self identifying” stuff, and as you say kids being questioned about their orientation, boy/girl, transgender, gay and the rest.

I remember when I was about 11-12 years old walking home from school with my best mate, we would have our arms over each others shoulders discussing what mischief we were going to get into once we got home and changed into our play clothes, I wonder what would happen today? More than likely get pulled to one side by some teacher and asked if we had any sexual feelings towards one another.

As you say let kids be kids and let them grow up first and then decide.

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2 hours ago, bottletopbill said:

Autism does not mean you cant do things with him love him and time out with you will help.

You said about step brothers how do they get on (I have two step kids and adopted two more they get one fine)

He may learn more in a hands on situation  trying to get my Grand daughter a diagnosis as she as struggled since coming to live with us  but we are still fighting to get her help. The pressure put on me and the wife dealing with her needs as she does not understand basic instructions and is forgetful.

We have fostered over forty five children over the years and never had a child with our granddaughters challenges.👍

 

You are quite right it doesn’t stop you. He is a bike nut and works in a cycle shop every second he gets. Family business that treat him well. He is very practical and does everything from repairs to sales. Probably the happiest he can be when there as it seems to be a release for him.

2 hours ago, old'un said:

Sorry to hear about the problems your grandson is suffering.

I think social media as a lot to answer for, my niece is on Facebook and her posts contain words like “Hun” and “Babe” plus a few others, she uploads the obligatory photo of her with the camera held high and a pouting sideways glance and then looks for “Likes” if she does not get any she seems quite upset by it, if she ever gets a bad post about her photo or something she says, she is almost in tears about it.

I agree because not only does it add pressure but they don’t learn to communicate on a human level.

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I have a 13 year old son who is the stereotypical teenager. Sullen,moody and always giving off.He was a lovely kid until he was about 12 then we could see it slipping in slowly. If anyone remembers Harry Enfield's Kevin you get the idea. I am reasonably strict with both my boys and will not accept surly disrespectful behaviour especially when I know that when they are with other folk they have manners and the charm turned on to the max.There has been the odd occasion when we have spoken to him and he just looks at us and doesn't even bother to respond.We both go out of our way to give the boys the best we can (without spoiling them) and I resent being treated like the enemy in my own house.

I remember my brother being like that as a teenager (obviously I was perfect) so I am not going to blame it all on social media or phones but they are a massive issue.We got him a phone in his first year of secondary school as he had to get a bus home where we live in the country.I had to ban him from joining some social media platforms as there were other kids on them in his class who were goading other kids and they said (in the public forum) that they would not stop until they had committed suicide, I reported this to the school who said that it was not really their issue but in fairness they did act and it led to a few suspensions etc . Now these kids were 12 and like said above the desire for likes and approval of photos/posts is astounding.It is such a horrible amount of pressure to be on kids of that age. I really do fail to see any benefit to Facebook etc except for businesses but that is possibly be being a grumpy old man who can live my life without the approval of others not feel the need to broadcast everything  I do in life.

Thankfully my son is very keen on shooting and fishing but has proved to be a very handy rugby player and is totally obsessed with that.He has a great network of coaches and team mates who I see him chatting and smiling with so it strikes me that the teenage angst is reserved for us at home. I know it is a difficult time for any child but the added pressure of social media etc could easily send some of them over the edge. 

Hopefully in few years he will be over it,I know that being a teenager in the 80's was much easier than it is now (and the music was brilliant!!)

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5 hours ago, old'un said:

Caught a bit on the news last night about the record high numbers of 5 to 20 year olds who are suffering mental health problems with around 400 thousand a month being treated for anxiety and self harm, some as young as 6 years old.

So what's causing this surge in mental health problems, Covid? social media?

I also wonder what effect this high number of mental health markers on peoples medical records will have on future gun ownership and tomorrows shooters?

There may have been mental health issues when I was at school in the late 50s early 60s but I cannot recall anyone self harming or taking their own life, what a mess today's youngster seem to-be in.

I dont think it was any the less in the past just more suppressed and less understood. We also had a lot less access to knowledge. Now things are much more open and talked about and hopefully this pays off with kids able to offload a bit. 

If anything, social media has to take some of the blame. Some feel the need to post a picture with a smiling face everytime they go to the shops, apparently living life to the full, it would be easy to understand why then others may feel inadequate. 

 

 

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2 hours ago, oowee said:

I dont think it was any the less in the past just more suppressed and less understood. We also had a lot less access to knowledge. Now things are much more open and talked about and hopefully this pays off with kids able to offload a bit. 

If anything, social media has to take some of the blame. Some feel the need to post a picture with a smiling face everytime they go to the shops, apparently living life to the full, it would be easy to understand why then others may feel inadequate. 

 

 

Not so sure about that, how many kids did you know/hear of at school who committed suicide?

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I really feel for the youngsters today I have three just going into their twenties, [anti] Social media can cause so many problems, young people are being judged for their every action, finish with your girl/boy and hundreds have an opinion, as oowee said many feel inadequate when comparing  themselves to others, even though the others may be bs, ing

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That's just called life, it isn't fair or just.

The sooner that is realised, the sooner they can get on with living their lives.

Therapy is nothing more than fuel to the fire. A reality check is what is needed.

Now yes there will be some genuine mental health cases, but most are just living in a bubble.

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8 hours ago, ditchman said:

computors and social media..........which make on going conditions much worse...and lack of parenting skills...and/or disinterest in their offspring....

Spot on, my take on it too. We now seem to have become a nation requiring a diagnosis of sickness?

Notwithstanding the genuine ones needing help.

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I have talked about my eldest before - very clever but quiet in social situations was let down by his school at GCSE’s in his Physics which started a bit of an avalanche situation where he ended up disengaged from education which was compounded with COVID which resulted in him suffering with severe anxiety 

even after talking to the school about him feeling isolated in 6th form and they done jack all about it. He ended up with counselling which we paid for which helped but what has done him wonders was getting a part time job at Morrisons- it was tough at first because of his anxiety but now he is flourishing- although he will never get into motorsport engineering that he had his heart set on from when he was young (and he could have done it with his brains)

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I dated a girl who’d just lost her son to suicide at 15 years old . He was made to feel weird because he wouldn’t vape etc.

I blame social media especially tiktok. Although I watch it and find it funny . 
ive noticed it plays sad stuff if you’re sad etc and drags you down. Lowers your mood etc. 
my son told me they have a transgender club at school with over 30 kids in it. Most of his mates think they’re gay or lesbian with only a small percentage thinking they’re straight. It’s because of social media pushing it down our throats.

I do personally like Facebook/tiktok /pigeon watch as I don’t think about it too much and it has no control on my life . 
 

when I was at my lowest tho a few years back with my divorce I watched a video on Bob proctor and the sand timer. It changed me in an instant. 

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