trakker01 Posted December 6, 2007 Report Share Posted December 6, 2007 New Direction for the war on terrorists. ' a Grandads view' "Send Prior Service Vets over 60 " I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. (You can't be older than 42 to join the military.) They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35. For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry!" We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some #### that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while. An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-b*tch. If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt now, "Get down and give me ... er ... one." Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked the London Tube on July 7th , or even attacked the USA on September 11, we would love to meet the lowlife. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million ****** off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. If nothing else, put us on the border and we will have it secured the first night. Share this with your senior friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floating Chamber Posted December 6, 2007 Report Share Posted December 6, 2007 Put me down for The Glucosamine Guards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted December 6, 2007 Report Share Posted December 6, 2007 I'll have some of that LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
migster Posted December 6, 2007 Report Share Posted December 6, 2007 Yeah! sign up here for the old farts army. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve_b_wales Posted December 6, 2007 Report Share Posted December 6, 2007 I'm going to join the Sanatogen Squad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markbivvy Posted December 6, 2007 Report Share Posted December 6, 2007 make sure this bloke is bringing up the rear. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/7126973.stm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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