Eleven things seen on the roads of Britain

[jayward]

Eleven things seen on the roads of Britain

 

Confirmators - these look like indicators but they only work at the instant the car makes the turn (or slightly after).

 

Infuriators - again these look like indicators but they are only used on straight roads & often motorways for miles and miles.

 

Nondicators - only fitted to BMWs these are never used, except to bag a parking space in multi-story car parks.

 

Divlights - very similar to fog lights but only used during the hours of daylight.

 

Toolights - these are fog lights that can only be used if the head lights are on.

 

Dumblights - just like rear fog lights, but once used they cannot be turned off for days, sometimes weeks or months.

 

Dicklights - similar to the above, but used in slightly misty conditions in nose-to-tail traffic.

 

Unilights - these are like head lights, but fitted to only one side of the vehicle and angled to light up the opposite side of the road.

 

Crashdoors - like ordinary car doors but these are thrown open violently (usually outside schools) without warning, to sharpen up the avoidance skills of passing motorists.

 

Cyclelights - almost mythical devices rumoured to be seen on older cyclists' machines.

 

Lanejamma - this is a vehicle that can never reach the legal speed limit and can only be driven in the centre or outside lane of motorways.

ZERO TOLERANCE ON SPEEDING THIS XMAS

[peter-peter]

Eleven things seen on the roads of Britain

 

Confirmators - these look like indicators but they only work at the instant the car makes the turn (or slightly after).

 

Infuriators - again these look like indicators but they are only used on straight roads & often motorways for miles and miles.

 

Nondicators - only fitted to BMWs these are never used, except to bag a parking space in multi-story car parks.

 

Divlights - very similar to fog lights but only used during the hours of daylight.

 

Toolights - these are fog lights that can only be used if the head lights are on.

 

Dumblights - just like rear fog lights, but once used they cannot be turned off for days, sometimes weeks or months.

 

Dicklights - similar to the above, but used in slightly misty conditions in nose-to-tail traffic.

 

Unilights - these are like head lights, but fitted to only one side of the vehicle and angled to light up the opposite side of the road.

 

Crashdoors - like ordinary car doors but these are thrown open violently (usually outside schools) without warning, to sharpen up the avoidance skills of passing motorists.

 

Cyclelights - almost mythical devices rumoured to be seen on older cyclists' machines.

 

Lanejamma - this is a vehicle that can never reach the legal speed limit and can only be driven in the centre or outside lane of motorways.

ZERO TOLERANCE ON SPEEDING THIS XMAS

they are ALL very popular now jay.

I see loads every day. B)

[Guest The Outlaw]

Ive seen nondicators fitted to loads of cars but only the ecconomy versions.

 

Tony