v5uk

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."

I cant handle 30", 28" max that extra 2" always puts me behind on fast crossing birds / clays

Cheers for that. Any links to the gun?

Cheers for the comments so fare I understand exactly what everyone is saying about buyer beware at gun auctions and I would never buy one blind. I bought a old side by side greener dating from 1898 in its case with manufactures sticker inside for £500 plus commission last year. Quite a nice gun and shot lovely but just not what I ideally wanted. I sold that privately for £1200 and I wish I had advertised it for a little more as it sold to quickly so yeah there is some rubbish that gets put through but there are some little gems. As I say I Know at any auction its whose there on the day and how much they have a hardon for it and how much disposable income they have against the next bidder. I just cant get my head round a Purdy selling for 3k and one that looks almost the same (to me anyway) selling for 5 to 8k On the slightly different note I have seen guns that have been part of a matched pair i.e No.1 of 2 or No.2 of 2 being sold possibly coz one guns been damaged or someone needed some extra cash and can only soot one gun at a time. But are detached guns of a pair any good to buy? Or because they have been separated will that drastically alter the individual gun price? Cheers Steve

I’m thinking about going to a gun auction in December to get an old English side by side, something pretty with hammers and Damascus barrels. I've not won the lottery so I won’t be spending the equivalent of a second hand Ferrari or a row of terraced houses in a less affluent area of the country. But after watching a few auctions in the past I'm a bit confused. For instance I’ve seen sxs hammer Purdys go through auctions from a grand to sky’s the limit, I understand that the top of the range ones that look like they have never been shot. And I understand matched pairs or guns that come in a box with trade label will be worth a bit more. But what makes 2 similar (not the same but similar) Purdy guns worth different amounts? Other than the blood rushing to the little trouser snake and a few people with the horn for the same gun at auction. Will the auctioneers estimate help people to over bid for instance if they say it’s worth 2K – 3K will people bid it up to around or over this amount? Can anyone shed any light on how not to drastically over pay for a gun Cheers Steve

I was wondering if anybody had any experience of using a guaranteed rental scheme? Im planning to leting out my house shortly and am tempted by northwoods guaranteed rental scheme. Obviously they offer a slightly lesser rental income than if we had tenants in there ourselves but are there any other disadvantages?? Cheers Steve

1 x Used White Nintendo DS Lite with original box comes with travel case, charger, original books etc and DS one super card £50 And 1 x Used Turquoise Nintendo DS Lite with original box comes with travel case, charger, original books etc and R4 card £50 delivery will be about £5 mainland UK

Thanks guys for your comments I can’t believe how positive he sounds, I would be still crying into my pillow saying f-f-s why me why me!!!! Without sounding gay “He is my new inspiration in life” for a 32 year old guy to be thinking like that a week after a accident that has (hopefully not for ever) left him paralysed from the “nips” down, I think he is amazing. He has a sister and brother in-law that also stay over there (in a different state), a lovely Aussy girlfriend and her family, and his mum and dad have now gone over from the UK. I’m sure he will have up and down days in the weeks / months to come, but fingers crossed with friends and family around him and if their is a god up there he will pull through to have some sort of life at the end of all this. Thanks again for all your great comments guys and next time your having a pint have one for him Cheers Steve

My mate Pete moved to Aus for a better life a few years ago, and im so glad I had the pleasure of staying with him last year when the wife and I went to Aus for 3 month on our honeymoon His facebook post reads As you're all probably aware by now I had an accident surfing last Sunday where I ended up breaking my neck. Sorry to everybody for the radio silence since then but as you can imagine it's been a pretty emotional week and I figured just one look at my phone would send me over the edge. I have had one monumental bit of bad luck, however that has been followed instantly with an unimaginable series of good luck events which is namely because of the people who have helped and been involved. As my head hit the sandbank I knew exactly what had happened - my arms and legs stopped working instantly and my voice did too. After a while of floating and thinking some of the worst thoughts imaginable, a guy called Chris Mitchell came to my rescue. He identified my injury as a spinal injury, kept my head above water and most importantly kept my head still. There is no doubt about it that this saved my life and I have to tell you Chris that myself, friends and family are eternally grateful and indebted to you. Thank you mate! When I was pulled out of the water there happened to be a doctor on the beach who came to my rescue. Mitsy, you were amazing and I cannot thank you enough for the way you took over the situation and helped me to stay relaxed, talking to me and reassuring me every step of the way (and squeezing my nips!). I also need to say a massive thank you to the Bondi lifeguards who were a touch of class. You guys do an impossible job all day every day and some how you always manage to do it well! Thank you so much for your part in saving my life. The ambulance staff were great and took me to the Prince of Wales Hospital in what seemed like seconds. When I got there an English doctor named Dr. Mark Fisher initially took care of me, he helped calm me down and as I'd no phone on me or able to remember Maddi'es number he took my folk's UK number down and called them to explain the situation. He then got Maddi'es number off them and kept everyone up to the minute with what was going on for the rest of the night. Mark even wrote a letter for my parents to help them get their passports organised quickly so they could fly out and has been back to visit me numerous times to check on my progress and offer his support. I am in awe of his professionalism, dedication to his job and all round good nature, there are very few people like you around mate. This hospital is amazing, within a heart beat of me arriving the surgeons had cut out a chunk of my hip bone, shaped it into a vertebra, opened up the front and back of my neck, removed all the shattered fragments of the one that had just exploded and screwed my new bit of bone to the little bit that was left over with titanium pins. This was all done and dusted in hours...HOURS!!! How is this even possible? It takes over a week to get your screen wash fixed when your car goes into the garage?!? I was out of surgery and woke up in ICU the next day with my beautiful girlfriend by my side where she has stayed helping and supporting me every waking minute since. You're incredible Mads, some kind of superhero and I have to say (you already know) that I LOVE YOU LUV!! XXX After my operation I was informed that my spinal cord has sustained damage quite high up and as a result can't feel or move anything below (weirdly) my nips. Due to the height of the injury the doctors are surprised that I have any sensation in my hands, and whilst my hands and arms are also screwed at the moment, they are getting better every day (I brushed my own teeth, fed myself and wrote something down on paper - still neater than my brother's writing!). Its a ****** situation I know, but considering on Monday I thought I was going to be a head on a pillow for the rest of my life and a week later I'm getting around under my own steam I am full of optimism. That's the thing about spinal injuries, you just never know I suppose. But there is no doubt in my mind I'm going to recover, how long it takes and to what extent I don't know, but I will be in the pub soon and I will be rolling the city to surf next year. I know it was a really unlucky thing to have happened but I feel really lucky to have come out of it as well as I have. If just one of the people mentioned hadn't been there the outcome would have been catastrophic. I want everyone to know that I'm being looked after by the very best people. My recovery team are wicked and somehow I seem to have fluked the very best from each department. My friends and family have all been here constantly and I know I've got tonnes of support back home too. This is a massive thing to have happened but I'm determined for it to have as little impact on mine and Maddie's life as I can possibly allow. There are simply too many success stories around for me not to be one of them. I love all you guys, and know I have the best support a person could wish for. I will get Skype rocking and rolling soon as, and speak to some of the best mates a fella could wish for! Big love, a little hug, a point and a wink, Pete P.s. I can still drink all of you under the table and will be proving this in about 3 months time Hears to ya Pete you’re a inspiration.

JACK PYKE FIELDMAN KNIFE brand new in packing 3.5'' fixed steel blade 'Deep Forest' camo handle Complete with black nylon sheath and one years Jack Pyke guarantee £20 each inc delivery to mainland UK anyone interested drop me a PM and ill get a email saying I have a PM

Sold

sorry had to go away for the weekend all PM's being replied to now Steve

Yeah that was impressive

I have a new Jack Pyke bushcraft knike for sale I'll do it delivered for £20 to mainland UK address the bushcraft knife has a 4" stainless steel blade and comes with a lifetime Guarantee from Jack Pyke Please drop me a PM if interested as I will get a email telling me I have a PM and will be able to answer you quicker Thanks Steve