white fox
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Posts posted by white fox
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Scottish Lonely Hearts
Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08
Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps on Sauchiehall Street at
three in the morning. Box 73/82.
Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box 53/41
Ginger-haired Partick troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more. Box 84/87
Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32
Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 23/45
Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old ******* living in a damp cottage in the **** end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box 40/27
Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07
Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at Framptons Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41
Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm Box 71/06
WF
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Think I have worked for a few Red Indians in my time
:( 
WF
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Fiochi 3" for me
WF
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Cardiff Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of Gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the Zoo vet determined the problem - the gorilla was on heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Gareth, a big Welsh lad from Swansea, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery.
Gareth, like most Swansea boys, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the Zoo Administrators thought they might have a solution.
Gareth was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have a sh4g with the gorilla for 500 pounds?
Gareth showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Gareth announced that he would accept their offer, only under three conditions:
"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her."
"Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this."
The Zoo management quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Gareth........ "could you give me another week to come up with the 500 quid."
WF
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No probs here
WF
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I say - bl@@dy good shooting old chap
I love 'em
Will have to ask Teal, Cranners and HD to set up a .410 section on here soon
WF
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You could always watch the olympic mens figure skating on the TV
WF
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Scotland's attitude really impressed me, tackling well, although it was a scrappy game, I can't believe that's the same Welsh side as last year. Murray let down his teammates, his nation and himself badly, gave us no chance.
Hammy
Yesterday afternoon at Edinburgh airport, waiting at the gate for our flight home to Bristol, who should come through the gate off the incoming plane but the Scots team.
Not one smile between them. :< :< :< :< :< :< :< :< :< :< :<
At least they didn't trash the plane.
WF
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During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.
Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"
WF
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An old one:-
A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious".
Roland the class swot, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious."
"Well done, Roland," says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?"
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."
"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"
Wee Tam jumps up and says in a broad Scots accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."
WF
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:(
WF
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Sorry chaps, I had the location hotlink protected to prevent people making a link to it from other forums as has happened before, ends up causing massive bandwidth usage to loads of sites I don't care about.
It should link OK from pigeonwatch.co.uk only.
Had some issues with the hotlink set-up on our server, hopefully fixed now.
let me know if 'link error' comes back
WF
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I knew I ws going to regret opening this..... :(
Now NTTF why was that, is it 'cos I posted it?
WF
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Corker :(
WF
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That's one way of doing it
WF
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Dickbmw - have you posted your W&S .410 on this site, I can't see it
Sorry - I have found it about a hundred posts ago
WF
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Driving a landrover and range rover myself, I am somewhat biased, however a mate of mine has one and it has performed just fine on and off road, it does have some decent tyres however.
Choice is yours.
WF
Typical British sense of humour
in Off Topic
Posted
WF