Toddles

Perfect World Allo Allo Rising Damp Krypton Factor Top 5 in my book!

The 'Come Dancing' show had it all, Glamour, Show biz marvellousness, Scantily dressed beautiful women, and great humour! I used to practise the 'mincing' moves in the privacy of my quarters, so avoiding the embarrassing sneers or heckling of the mess-room. Cell Block H was an all time classic and as funny as ****, although the humour was only unlocked through a large spliff! Ps. Hope you get on the X factor, I'll tape that! Toddles

Call me old fashioned if you like, but I alway's treat girls well. Turn up early before she's ready, then pace up and down tutting, she feels guilty for making you wait, and will try harder to be nice. Don't skimp on the dinner out, order the best. Prawn cocktail, Steak with peas & onion rings , and a cake for afters. Because after complaining about the food, then falling off your chair gripping your stomach, they won't expect you to pay the bill. You may need to argue a little, but she will respect your authority. By now, she is feeling a little sorry for you, so strike again. When you get to her house, double up with pain and ask her to call an Ambulance. Don't let her of course, so she will ask you to come in. Right, While she prepares the hot milk, you pretend to doze off. When she tries to arouse you, spit some phlegm on her blouse whilst innocently coughing. Got to take her top off now eh! The opportune moment has arrived, give her the After Eights just as she is 1/2 way through taking her top off. This rouse gives ample opportunity to fondle her whilst her hands are occupied. Once I fondle a girl, she stays fondled. Be a bit frosty in the morning, that will make her feel a little inadequate, and will try and regain favour with you by doing a big fry-up. Last but not least: Just before she dishes the breakfast up, casually mention that you like her a little plump, and you will at the very least, get one of her sausages and maybe some fried bread. Sorted! She had a good time as well, she should be well happy!

Well I'm off to start a new post! Humour essential ------------------> 'How to treat a girl'

Get calamity back on as well, she is a good laugh, although as ugly as sin! :lol: TEDIOUS That makes your 55th post today! Have you been out?

Cell Block 'H' and Come Dancing!

Get calamity back on as well, she is a good laugh, although as ugly as sin! :lol: TEDIOUS What an interesting post Ted!

Get calamity back on as well, she is a good laugh, although as ugly as sin!

Yeah! get back on outlaw, What's the point of a 'general banter forum' if you can't post general banter?

Surely, you're not that skinny nerd with the specs, (were they to obscure your vision?)

How unfortunate that you suffer from impaired vision, although I do not! calamity:: For anyone to travel even a few yards, (let alone to another country) to see a load of batty boys, prancing about on stage, is a sad thing to hear. If you are trying to feel accepted, you would do better to pop down the zoo! :unsure:

Women find it harder? Is this just not an excuse. Practise makes perfect. Charlotte Kerwood doesn't have issues with lead because she is a woman! She just works it out for herself. Women always tell us how good they are at driving. So their perception should be better than men's. So you should be able to work out lead much better than us boys! I do obviously do lead but not to the point that I consious with it and if I start to think (dangerous :unsure: ). I go extreme and shoot miles in front. I use my swing and just swing a bit harder if it needs lead as mentioned before etc. I am a **** driver as well :unsure: - only joking! Don't you ever worry for your safety when in the company of people with guns?

Hi Cranfield. Can't help it! I reckon it's similar to why everyone rubberneck's at a car crash, or why everyone wants to see a dead body. For me, I guess it's just a worrying attraction to anything bizzare! I took your point though and refrained from looking. (Actually, That's a lie, I only refrained from posting) That ugly freak is like a magnet!! :unsure:

For christ sake, wear a mask! Better still, put a photo of someone else in your profile. (peferably, a witch/ogre/etc.)

This just must be the other Sister. (Same Hairdo)