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Marriage Joke Quotes


Nildes
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> I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must

> be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

> - David Bissonette

> =========================================================

> When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let

> him keep her.

> - Sacha Guitry

> =========================================================

> After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just

>can't face each other, but still they stay together.

> =========================================================

> By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you

> get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

>

> - Socrates

> ========================================================

> =========================================================

>

> Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving

> them.

>

> - Dumas

> =========================================================

>

> The great question... which I have not been able to answer....is, "What

>

> does a woman want?

>

> - Freud

> =========================================================

>

> I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

> =========================================================

>

> "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go

> to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft

> music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

> - Henny Youngman

> =========================================================

> "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

> - Sam Kinison

> =========================================================

> "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than

> electronic banking. It's called marriage."

> - James Holt McGavran

> =========================================================

>

> "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the

> second one didn't."

> - Patrick Murray

> =========================================================

> Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife

> would have preferred.

> =========================================================

> Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

> 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

> 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

> - Nash

> =========================================================

> My wife only has 2 complaints. Nothing to wear and not enough closet

> space.

> =========================================================

> You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

> - Henny Youngman

> =========================================================

> My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

> - Rodney Dangerfield

> =========================================================

> A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

> - Milton Berle

> =========================================================

> Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

> - Anonymous

> =========================================================

> "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt

> her."

> - Rodney Dangerfield

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