CHEMICAL PROPERTIES OF WOMAN

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CHEMICAL PROPERTIES OF WOMAN

 

ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: WOMAN

 

SYMBOL

DISCOVERER:ADAM

ATOMIC MASS: ACCEPTED AS 55KG,BUT KNOW TO VARY FROM 45KG TO 225KG

OCCURANCE:FOUND IN LARGE QUANTITYS IN URBAN AREAS WITH TRACE ELEMENTS IN OUTLYING REGIONS

 

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES

1. SURFACE NORMALLY COVERD WITH FILM OF POWEDER AND PAINT

2.BOILS AT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,FREEZES FOR NO APPARANT REASON

3.MELTS IF GIVEN SPECIAL TREATMENT

4.BITTER IF USED INCORRECTLY

5.FOUNDS IN VARIOUS GRADES RANGING FROM VIRGIN MATERIAL TO COMMON ORE

6.YEILDS TO PRESSURE IF EXPERTLY APPLIED

 

CHEMICAL PROPRTIES

1.AFFINITY TO GOLD SILVER,PLATINUM AND ALL PRECIOUS STONES

2.ABSORBS GREAT QUANTITYS OF EXPENSIVE SUBSTANCES

3.EXPLODES SPONTANEOUSLY WITHOUT REASON OR WARNING

4.GEATLY INCREASED ACTIVITY WHEN SATURATED IN ALCOHOL

5.THE MOST POWERFULL MONEY REDUCING AGENT KNOWN TO MAN

 

COMMON USE

1. HIGHLY ORNAMENTAL,ESPECIALLY IN SPORTS CARS

2.CAN BE A GREAT AID TO RELAXATION

3.CAN BE A VERY EFFECTIVE CLEANING AGENT

 

TEST

1.PURE SPECIMENS TURN BRIGHT PINK WHEN FOUND IN THIER NATURAL STATE

2.TURNS GREE WHEN PLACED ALONSIDE A SUPERIOR SPECIMEN

 

HAZARDS

1.HIGHLEY DANGEROUS EXCEPT IN EXPERIENCED HANDS

2.ILLEGAL TO POSSES MORE THAN ONE.ALTHOUGH SEVERAL CAN BE MAINTAINED AT DIFFERENT LOCATIONS AS LONG AS SPECIMENS DO NOT COME IN DIRECT CONTACT WITH EACH OTHER