Browning Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed . Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realising that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aim small miss small Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 haha nice one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted June 10, 2004 Report Share Posted June 10, 2004 If my rottweiler didn't weigh 16.5 stone I would do that to her. Fortunetly, I have a healthy survival instinct, first 17 years of my life in a sarf london ghetto. Oh well, it can't stop me dreaming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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