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  1. This year recognising that I should do summat about my weight I have allowed the nurse at my Dr's surgery to refer me to a 48 week Weight Management and Lifestyle Programme that run locally under the guise of 'More Life' . There was a shed load of questionaires full of bizzare and seemingly ridiculous, irrelevant questions to fill in before I was even accepted on the course Now week one was really just an introductory session during which we see who turns up and we all get our height checked, the weighed on the magic scales, Magic Scales ? I hear you ask, well let me explain. You have to remove any footwear including socks, tights/pop socks/stockings whatever ladies, You then stand on the scales on the two metal pads under each foot, your height, sex and the weight of your clothes is then input into the control panel by the operator, Now THIS is where the magic begins, the Magic Scales sends "an energy" up and down each leg, and through your body (yes it does folks) and you feel ..........absolutely nothing (I know !!! I didn't believe it either!) After a minute or two, the Magic Scales does you a little print out, listing your weight, your height, how much your bones weigh, how much your water content weighs, how much of your body is fat, how much of that fat is internal ie deep inside as opposed to under the skin. Finally it tells you how obese you are (Can you have 106% Really ??) Now, Week 2 Off with the shoes, socks, onto the 'Magic Scales' and this is where my belief in the system begins to fall apart, I've lost 0.3 of a Kg off my total body weight BUT I've lost 5.8Kg of "Muscle Mass" I was somewhat incredulous at this point and challenged the course leader (who was operating said Magic Scales) they don't like being challenged :no: Not only this but I am, apparently, not only 100% Obese :( but I went even better (worse?) and took it to a whole new mathematical level, = 106% When I saw my Dr about the Pleurisy, I mentioned these 'Magic Scales' and the results, He didn't seem as appreciative, in fact he rather infered "What a Croc of ****" Apparently the money the NHS has spent on CT Scanners and MRI Scanners and Ultrasound technologies wasn't a waste :no: UNLIKE the money spent on Magic Scales and that other ridiculous, scientifically unproven Magic Energy giver......The Circulation Booster (theres only one thing that makes your blood pump up and down yer legs and thats your heart & circulatory system Grrrrrr So, Yes Im overweight, will I be keeping a food diary ? Not Unless its edible ! Im about 9-10stone overweight to be their ideal weight, Why ? Because I eat too much and all the wrong stuff, however, all the good stuff is bad for you too, just not as bad or you have to eat much more of it, will I be swapping Bacon and Toms for Chipboard biscuits (weetabix) moistened with a thimble of white water ? yeah right. () Thanks for reading my ramblings, had to get that off me chest as I couldn't get to sleep. 05.30hrs night night all.
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