another funny

[the last engineer]

1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.

 

 

2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM. DON'T DISGUISE YOUR

VOICE.

 

 

3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY

WANT FRIES WITH THAT.

 

 

4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."

 

 

5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE

HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.

 

 

6. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS, WRITE "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"

 

 

7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES W ITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."

 

 

8. DON'T USE ANY PUNCTUATION

 

 

9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.

 

10. ORDER A DIET WATER WHENEVER YOU GO OUT TO EAT WITH A

SERIOUS FACE.

 

 

11. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."

 

 

12. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.

 

 

13. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T

RHYME

 

14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA AND PLAY

TROPICAL SOUNDS ALL DAY.

 

 

15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR

PARTY BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.

 

 

16. HAVE YOUR CO-WORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING

NAME, ROCK BOTTOM.

 

 

17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON!, I

WON!"

 

 

18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING

LOT,YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"

 

19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER. "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO

HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."

 

 

20. AND THE FINAL WAY TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY.......

SEND THIS E-MAIL TO SOMEONE TO MAKE THEM SMILE. ITS CALLED THERAPY.

[SNAKEBITE]

So many gems and so little time.

[lurcherboy]

You have way, way, way to much time on your hands Martin, thank god!

 

:thumbs:

 

 

 

 

 

LB