white fox Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 The Ferrari formula 1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday, in a bid to become constructors champions again next year. The announcement followed Ferarri's decision to take advantage of the UK Governments Youth Opportunity Scheme and employ people from Liverpool. The decision to hire them followed a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Liverpool area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without propper equipment, where as Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of Euro's worth of high tech euipment. Prime Minister Tony Blair went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari management team which demonstrated the international recogintion of the UK under New Labour As most races are won or lost in the pits, Ferrari thought they had the advantage over every other team. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for. At the first practice session, the Liverpool pit crew sucessfully changed the tyres in less than 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, rebadged and sold the car to the McLaren team for 8 bottles of Stella, a kilo of speed and a photo of Coulthards bird in the shower. WF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 **** Pack it in WF with the scally bashing, good job BTW B) LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white fox Posted November 25, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 **** Pack it in WF with the scally bashing, good job BTW B) LB I be born there chuk B) :( so that allows me WF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawkeye Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 B) B) :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 And there is me thinking you was a viking, all along you was a boot lifting scally B) B) :( LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white fox Posted November 25, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 boot lifting scally B) with the magic ingredient of rape and pillage blood B) What better combination :( WF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted November 26, 2005 Report Share Posted November 26, 2005 Agreed, family name Brosnan. Not your average Irish name centries ago. LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Big Red Fox Posted November 26, 2005 Report Share Posted November 26, 2005 A major earthquake measuring 8.8 on the Richter Scale hit Kelty in Fife, in the early hours of Sunday morning. Victims were seen wandering around muttering "what the ****", "a dinnae ken" and "yahoorsur". The earthquake decimated the area causing £30 - £40 woth of damage. Several priceless collections and momentoes from the Balearics, Blackpool and the Spanish Costas were damaged beyond repair. Three historic areas of burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived. The Dunfermline Press reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in the area. One resident, Karen Sinclair, a seventeen year old mother of five, said "it was such a shock that my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying, whilst my younger kids, Tyler Morgan, Alishia Storm and Shakira , slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Richard and Judy the next morning". Apparently though, looting, mugging drug dealing, car crime and prostitution has carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Buckfast and Sunny Delight to the area to help stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Argos and fine bone china from Poundstretchers. How can you help? This appeal is to raise money for food and clothes for the unfortunates caught up in the disaster. Clothing is most sought after - the most needed includes Fila or fake Burberry baseball caps, Kappa trackie tops (his & hers), shell suits, white sports socks (ok, off-white will do), Rockport boots, donkey jackets and any other clothing usually bought from your local branch of 'More Stores'. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required items include Micro chips, Pot Noodles, budget baked beans, ice cream, cans of Irn Bru or Special Brew and bottles of Buckie. 22p could buy a biro for filling in compensation claim forms £2.00 buys chips and blue fizzy juice for a family of four £5.00 buys a lighter and packet of fags to calm the nerves of those affected. Please do not send tents for shelter as the sight of posh housing is unfair on the population of the neighbouring areas of Ballingry, Lochore, Cowdenbeath and Lumphinnans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted November 26, 2005 Report Share Posted November 26, 2005 The Marines have flownout to help rebuild a Village in the earthquake area of Pakistan. Scousers have flown out to help with the looting. sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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