the last engineer Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 sent this to LB, he liked it so here you are, hope i got all the expletives :*) Edmonton Alberta Snow Diary AUG. 1 Moved to our new home in Edmonton Alberta. It is so beautiful here. The city is so picturesque. Can hardly wait to see it covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE OCT. 14 Edmonton is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I LOVE IT HERE. NOV. 11 Deer season will open soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon. I LOVE IT HERE. DEC. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looked like a postcard. Went outside and cleaned snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight today (I won). When the snowplow came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Mother Nature in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE. DEC. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again that rascal). A winter wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE. DEC. 19 Snowed again last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. ******g Snowplow! DEC. 22 More of that white **** fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm done shoveling. That ####! DEC. 25 "White Christmas" my busted ***. More ******g snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I will castrate the dumb plonker. Don't know why they don't use more salt on this ******g ice. DEC. 28 More of the same **** last night. Been inside since Christmas day except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere. The car is buried in a mountain of white ****. The weatherman says expect another 10 inches of this **** tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is? JAN. 1 Happy ******g New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We got 34 ******g inches of snow this time. At this rate it won't melt until the 1st of July. The snowplow got stuck down the road and **** for brains had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke 6 shovels already, shoveling out the **** he plowed into my driveway. I broke the 7th shovel over his ******g head. JAN. 4 Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the ****er. Did about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would have killed them all last November. MAY 3 Took the car to the garage in town today. Would you believe the body is rotting away from all the ******g salt they keep dumping all over the roads. It really looks like a piece of ****. MAY 10 Moved to North Carolina today. I can't imagine why anyone in their right ******g mind would want to live in the God forsaken Province of Alberta. Martin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAMMY Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 LOL Hammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNAKEBITE Posted December 7, 2005 Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 The grass is always greener, or whiter which seems to be the problem here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the last engineer Posted December 7, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2005 insult to injury Vancouver (Reuters) Day 2 - Vancouver Blizzard 2005 - Revenge of the Commuters Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional ¼ centimeter of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out. Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals. Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it. Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op. "The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. "I didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.