jonno 357 Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 Yum! A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a tooth-pick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp goes off. A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes. There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too." "No, a straw," says the Tramp. The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick. To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already". Jonno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonno 357 Posted December 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 These two starving bums are walking through an alley when one of them sees a dead cat. He runs over, sits down and starts to eat the cat, tearing the meat from its limbs. He says to the other bum, "Hey, I know you're hungry, too. Why don't you eat some of this cat?" "Hell no!!!" replies the second bum, "That cat's been dead for days, he's all stiff and cold and smelly!" The first bum says, "Okay, suit yourself," and continues to eat everything, skin, muscle, guts, all but the skeleton. A few hours later as they are walking down the street the first bum says, "Oh, I don't feel so good. I think there might have been something wrong with that cat." And just then, he pukes up a huge puddle of rotten cat flesh and guts with stomach bile mixed in, all half digested and looking like mush. The second bum sits down next to the puddle and says, "Now you're talkin'! It's been months since I had a WARM meal!!!" Jonno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BountyHunter Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 How do you spell "BLUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"? BH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axe Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 There was I thinking what a nice dinner I had at lunch time then you go post that ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonno 357 Posted December 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 I'll get the straws Jonno Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BountyHunter Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 I'll get the straws Jonno Don't forget the toothpicks... BH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Axe Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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