Browning GTS Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old ****, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over.." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn.....third gay rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story? ... Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, and treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Browning GTS Posted January 27, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 OR. >Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after >dinner, > Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and >ponder his > accomplishments and long life. > > One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They >begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. >After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred >and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?" > > She asks, "What?"...... > > "SEX!!" he replies. > > Mildred exclaims, "Why you old ****, you > couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!" > > "I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could >just hold it for a while. > > "Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, and then unzips his >trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. > > Afterward, they agree to meet secretly > each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and >Mildred would > hold Harold's manhood. > > Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting >place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was >O.K. > > She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him >sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who > > was holding Harold's manhood! > > Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing > creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?" > > Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 :thumbs: LB :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnskevena Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old ****, time for you to retire." The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over.." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn.....third gay rooster I bought this month." Moral of this story? ... Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, and treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance! :thumbs: :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnskevena Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 OR. >Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after >dinner, > Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and >ponder his > accomplishments and long life. > > One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They >begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. >After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred >and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?" > > She asks, "What?"...... > > "SEX!!" he replies. > > Mildred exclaims, "Why you old ****, you > couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!" > > "I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could >just hold it for a while. > > "Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, and then unzips his >trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. > > Afterward, they agree to meet secretly > each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and >Mildred would > hold Harold's manhood. > > Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting >place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was >O.K. > > She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him >sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who > > was holding Harold's manhood! > > Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing > creep! What does Ethel have that I don't have?" > > Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's" :thumbs: :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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