BTMS Posted October 8, 2006 Report Share Posted October 8, 2006 Blonde LOGIC Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...??" CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just **** in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!" RIVER WALK There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You are on the other side." AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor."Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!" IN A VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked," Is it on or off?" FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurcherboy Posted October 8, 2006 Report Share Posted October 8, 2006 ***** LB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jonrms Posted October 9, 2006 Report Share Posted October 9, 2006 ok a couple more.... just basic ones.... America. Q What does a blonde and a screen door have in common? A The harder you slam them the looser they get Q what does a blonde and a turtle have in common? A once they are on there backs they are Scre****** If you see a blonde with a tampon behind her ear... walk away and for GOD SAKE... dont ask where the pencil is! Police arrived to a crime scene to investigate a death, possibly murder.... on arrival they found a blonde lady lying on the ground dressed in a exercising outfit. There appeared to be no sign of struggle, or any violence. They noticed that the young blonde had a head set on.... They took the tape they found in for the lab to be tested.. along with the walkman. The officers were shocked when they found the cause of death.... the music on the tape was infact instructions... breath in ,... breath out... and the cause of death was a dead battery. Q whats the first thing a blonde does after having intercourse? A opens the car door. Q what the easiest way to kill a blonde? A put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool and ask the blonde what scent it is? BTW.. my wife is blonde... how do you think i got so lucky being married... no really she is blonde... lol! so please I hope she doesnt see this!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimjim Posted October 9, 2006 Report Share Posted October 9, 2006 ***** guys!!! quality!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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