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Xmas Eve Joke


Dead-Eyed Duck
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A man goes into a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman, who waves at him and says "Hello".

 

He's rather taken aback because he doesn't know her from Adam. So he says "Do you know me?".

 

She replies "I think that you're the father of one of my kids".

 

Now his mind travels back to the only time that he has ever been unfaithful to his wife, and he says "My God!".

 

"Are you the stripper from my stag do, that tied me to the pool table, gagged me with your sequinned bra, shaved my pubes, whilst your partner whipped my **** with wet celery? My friends still laugh themselves senseless over that night!".

 

She looks into his eyes and calmly said, "No, I'm your son's maths teacher!".

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