cowboy boots

[hawkeye]

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, are in California.

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife. "Notice anything different about me".

Margaret looks him over, "Nope".

Frustrated Bert storms off into the bathroom, undresses and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again he asks, a little louder this time, "notice anything different NOW".

Margeret looks up and says,"Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down tomorrow.

Furious, Bert yells,"AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET".

"Nope", she replies.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!

To which Margaret replies.

"Shoulda bought a hat Bert, Shoulda bought a hat." :look:

[louilester]

This made me howl - but I apologise if it offends :look: ..

 

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

 

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his mobile phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

 

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.

 

He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant.... Then he remembered his wife.

 

Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition. The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you! "I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last!"

 

 

"For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be the one looking after her!".

 

 

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed so the doctor laughed and said, "Ah, Im Just ******* with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

Edited January 24, 2007 by Axe