Middle England.

[Bazooka Joe]

Middle England.

 

Tony Blair called Prescott into his office one day and said, 'John I have

agreat idea! We are going to go all out to win back Middle England'.

'Great idea, Tony how will we go about it?' said Prescott.

'Well' said Blair ' we'll each get ourselves one of those long Barbourcoats,

 

some proper wellies, a stick, and a flat cap, oh' and a Labrador.

Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old country pub, in"Much

 

Something" or other. We'll show we really enjoy the countryside.'

'Right Oh' said Prescott.

A few days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Labrador at heel,

they set off from London in a westerly direction.

Eventually they arrived at just such a place they were looking for (Much

Piddling-in-the-Brook) with a lovely country pub (The Surly Yokel).

With the dog, they went in and leant on the bar.

"Good evening Landlord, may we have two pints of your best ale, from the

Wood" said Blair

Good evening Prime Minister" said the landlord, "two pints of best it is,

coming up"

Blair and Prescott stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and

chatting, nodding now and again to those who came to the bar for a drink.

The dog lay quietly at their feet. Suddenly the door from the adjacent bar

opened in came a grizzled old shepherd, complete with crook.

He walked up to the Labrador, lifted its tail, looked underneath it,

shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.

A few moments later, in came another old shepherd carrying a crook. He

walked up to the dog, lifted its tail, looked underneath,

scratched his head and he went back to the other bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so several other locals came in, lifted

the dog's tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually Blair and Prescott could stand it no longer and called the Barman

 

over.

Tell me," said Blair, "why did all those old shepherds come in, look under

the dog's tail like that? Is it an old custom?"

"Good Lord no," said the barman. "It's just that someone told them that

there was a Labrador in this bar with two *********!"

 

 

BJ.

[Poacher]

B)