Another slow day....

[dead-eye-dick]

In the normal way,...This is not ment to affend, only to provide amusement...

Last month, the UN conducted a worldwide survey. The only question asked

was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

 

The survey was a huge failure....

 

In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.

 

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what 'honest' meant.

 

In Western Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.

 

In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.

 

In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant.

 

In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant.

 

In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

****************************************************************************

 

 

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

 

You have two cows.

 

You sell one and buy a bull.

 

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

 

You sell the herd and retire on the income.

 

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

 

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

 

You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

 

 

A FRENCH CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

 

You go on strike because you want three cows.

 

 

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

 

You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create irritating cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide at a fantastic profit.

 

 

A GERMAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

 

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

 

 

AN ENGLISH CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

 

Both are mad.

 

 

 

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

 

You break for lunch.

 

 

 

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

 

You count them and learn you have five cows.

 

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

 

You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.

 

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

 

 

 

A SWISS CORPORATION

 

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.

 

You charge others for storing them.

 

 

 

A HINDU CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

 

You worship them.

 

 

 

A CHINESE CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

 

You have 300 people milking them.

 

You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

 

 

 

A WELSH CORPORATION

 

You have two cows.

 

The younger one is rather attractive

 

 

 

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

 

Western suburbs style....

 

You have 2 stolen bulls but think they are cows

 

You die the first time you try and milk them.