Ali G

[dazza]

The Bible according to Ali G > >'ear me now. Me 'ave found dis book called de Bible wot is 100 years >old. >It was writted by dis bloke called Jason Christ and his dad. >It have no pictures and definitely no muff. Trust me, it is well boring. > >It come in two halves, da Old Testicle and da New Testicle, wot is >happarently religious and people 'ave been fighting for millions of >years >about which testicle is da best. >Anyway, about 2 billion years ago dis bloke called Moses went up a >mountain in Spain and dropped two tablets.. Dey must have been class A's >coz >he came >down wiv some seriously mental ideaz. Dey was called Da 10 Commandments, > >an dey iz 13 laws dat has been da basis of society ever since. Even da >dinosaurs 'ad to learn them altho very few of dem hactually practisd dem > >an dat is why dey died of de Aids an also why Jurassic Park appened. Ere >is >wot dey say (not de dinosaurs hobviously - coz dey spoke in Dog). >Also I has remixed dem for da new millenium. >Da old Commandments: >1) I am the Lord, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out >of the house of bondage. >2) Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto >thee any graven image. >3) Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain. >4) Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. On the seventh day thou >shalt not work. >5) Honour thy Father and thy Mother. >6) Thou shalt not kill. >7) Thou shalt not commit adultery. >8) Thou shalt not steal. >9) Thou shalt not bear false witness. >10) Thou shalt not covert thy neighbour's ***. >Da New Commandments: >1) I iz da macdaddy, who iz taken u out of the county of Barkshire, u iz > >all me hoes, an if u iz up 4 it me is well into bondage. >2) Westside. >3) Do not dis Tupac. >4) Remeber every second Friday in every moth coz dat iz when me hold de >jungle all-nita at de Crooked Billet in Iver Heath - 5 squid on da door, > >first 1000 ladies free. >5) Respec your Nan. >6) Thou shalt not do drive-bys. >7) Thou shalt not commit adultery (unless she iz well fit). >8) Thou shalt not deal. >9) Thou shalt not wear false titties. >10) Thou shalt not cover up thy batty (unless you iz a man or you iz a >minger). > > > >

[ChrisNicholls]

well wikid innit :thumbs: :(