LEFTY478

My best man is only alive today because he chose the right moment to learn forward and wipe. On his last Herrick tour and whilst going firm in the tardis, a HV round passed between his back and the cistern. Would have been a crąp way to roll a seven.

If you’re sending stuff to someone you know, find out where they are first. If they spend most of their time at REMFing around the EFI at Bastion, the chances are they have access to anything they need anyway, so mainly comfort items. However if they’re deployed on their belt-buckle in one of the FOBs, practical stuff is always useful too. Things I'd want to received, like: T shirts & underwear. Clothes pegs & para cord (clothes line etc). Drawing pins, bull dog clips, gaffer tape. Salt, pepper & tabasco sauce or similar. Dry foods like pot noodles, fruit, nuts & biscuits. Decent Tea bags or coffee. Polos, gum & Haribo star mix or similar Playing cards. DVDs (what’s on the disk doesn’t have to match what’s on the box – so get some filth) USB flash drive (pre-loaded with filth). Magazines (take the shiney cover and first few pages from something mundane and add contents of a filth mag of the same size). Shampoo bottle (preferably filled with brandy). Bar of soap, razors. Hope this helps.

Chemically synthesized 'skunk' water would be perfect. And as an added bonus, even blind members of society could identify and hate them.

There are plenty of areas in Gr London that are economically depressed, but they're not all kicking ten bells out of their local Curry's, PC World or Footlocker. I was born and brought up in Hounslow, West London; which is not an area said to be dripping in wealth, but has high unemployment and a huge ethnic population, all be it Asian rather than Afro-Caribbean. Simply ignoring unpleasant facts is what has brought us to the current situation and does no community favours in the long run.

The Sky planner doesn't list any guests or mention its location yet. The rent-a-gobs will self select; the reluctant panel members will be interesting.

if you like your sport 'bloody' I suspect you'll enjoy Thursday night's Question Time.

Yes, OK you’re right about Manchester/Salford. The point I made only rings true for: Tottenham, Tottenham Hale, Woodgreen, Enfield, Islington, Oxford Circus, Ponders End, Walthamstow, Stratford, East Ham, Bethnal Green, Camden, Ealing, Woolwich, Peckham, Lewisham, Bromley, Croydon, Clapham, Uxbridge and Barking in the London area, plus Bristol, Liverpool, Birmingham and Nottingham.

Interesting article here and not your usually Guardianista rubbish. The London riots are the inevitable consequence of a society that...

Do you really think so? Like it or not, I'm having a great of difficulty finding fault with this post, from another forum:

It's just kicked off in Uxbridge & Hayes. Mrs Lefty's firm has just popped smoke and they're attempting a mass exfil from Hayes Business Park. Not happy as they'd had warning emails from their HR 60 - 90 minutes ago, but no one with the balls to knock them off before now, ***.

Ref calls for the Army to pitch in: It ain't gone a happen. Political reasons? Problems with jurisdiction? Lack of Public order training and riot kit? No. It ain't gone a happen because it's August. And that means that virtually everybody that isn't currently in the Sandpit, is on block leave. You can try leaving a message and i'm sure somebody with get back to you on Tuesday 30th, after the bank holiday.

Ask Michael McIntyre...

You just know that she'll claim she was trying to protect their stock, by taking as much as possible home with her. And she'll get off too!

Oh yes! I swing both ways me: men and boys...

I'd smash one up it...

Blatant police favour-ism: While the bint gets a box to sit on, the bloke on the right gets a post impaled in his hoop.

No. but I believe there's plenty of canon's water available from the CofE.

At least that was usually predictable to a couple of days ether side of the 12th July...

Hey, it's not all bad news. A spokesman for the Met has confirmed that arrests for drink-driving, residential burglary and domestic violence are the lowest since 1945.

Double post mong.

Just out of interest, how does "copulating anal orifice" score on the censure score?

Good news! Scotland Yard have announced that, after being plagued by 1,000's of rioters, they've managed to charge 36 people.

Rubbish! But just out of interest, any idea where I can get a replacement remote control for a 60" plasma?

Good news! London Zoo say they're deploying a squadron of Polar bears to help clear the streets.

Now, if you'd said send in the Royal Marines, you might have been on to something. The sight of a hundred and twenty naked Booties, in 'Roll Mat' order, plus a 'Snatch Squad' dressed as slappers & tarts, would scare the b'jesus out of the natives.